Do you really miss the skids when they are away?
I'll be honest...somtimes I do miss them but a lot of times I don't. Especially when they leave their crap all over the house. I often can't wait till they come back home to just tell them to pick their crap up. What REALLY pisses me off is when SS10 throws his clean clothes in his dirty laundry basket because he doesn't want to put his clean clothes away. I found his clean clothes in the wash the other day and told him if I EVER found that again that he would be washing his own clothes like his sister (13) is now! I don't think FH liked what I said, but then again he doesn't do the laundry. It's just plain lazy when the skids do that! The reason why SD13 is doing her own laundry is because she was lazy and didn't want to put her clean clothes away and would put the clothes she wasn't going to wear within the next couple days in the hamper. Then, she would ask me to wash her clothes because she had a full basket. I got smart though and figured out how the hamper filled up so fast...so consequences followed and she's doing her own now...and she isn't doing as many loads of her laundry a week as I used to do. Hopefully SS10 will learn from his sister and listen to me. If not, no biggie for me...less laundry for me to do!
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No, I don't. I tend to be
No, I don't. I tend to be focused on my own and our life here and don't think much about them. Oh, I have that general sense of 'hope all is well' that you have for people you know but I can't really say I am sitting around missing them.
Out of sight out of mind is
Out of sight out of mind is best for me. Unless her and Frizz are causing drama from a distance which seems to be happening to us more and more...
When she isn't around, I tend to use that time to recenter myself and focus on choochoo because when she IS here, the world revolves around her and her flurry of activities...choochoo gets pushed aside during those times.
"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."
..."I'm not mean, you're just a sissy."
The only time I think about
The only time I think about SD when she isn't here is right before she returns and I think "oh shit there goes my day"
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!
Ditto! I couldn't have said
Ditto! I couldn't have said it better myself.
Another ditto from me. I
Another ditto from me. I get sick on the ride to go get them. Then that predictable "I hate you" face that comes when they get in the car.
Life is what you make it.
LMAO HA HA HA Thats what i
LMAO HA HA HA Thats what i do. Im like f%ck it is the 2nd weekend of the month isnt it
I count my lucky stars that
I count my lucky stars that they live so far away and aren't here very often. The few times they do visit, my house is a disaster and nastiness abounds. So no, I don't miss them. Not one tiny bit. I do feel a bit of remorse for my lack of feeling for them. And I feel sad for FH, who does miss them when he remembers he has them. But it is what it is.
I'm glad when we don't have
I'm glad when we don't have Tortoise. We have him all week. It is nice to be able to run around the house butt nekkid on the weekends.
I do not miss her in the
I do not miss her in the slightest! The week without SD is like heaven on Earth! I have compartmentalized the time without her as our family time. And the time she is with us, that is her time with her Dad and brother... I have taken myself out of the loop for my own sanity!
I totally agree StayorGo! I
I totally agree StayorGo! I just want to take myself out of the equation when the skids are around, however I can't totally. I have to have SOME kind of presence or they won't learn any kind of discipline or order or routine. I have the skids mornings when they are getting ready for school and I have their afternoons for homework and their dinners, however other than that I lock myself in the bedroom and don't want to deal!
I remember the days when
I remember the days when BF's work schedule made it so I had both children in the morning (all the getting ready and driving to school) and afternoon (picking them both up and getting dinner going)... it sucked! Hated when BM would have to come pick up SD from me it was like the oddest feeling ever.
I have stopped any interaction with SD when it comes to discipline, manners...etc. I stated to BF that I need him to be the man of the house and express to his daughter she is not the boss, she will listen to him and if she doesn't, there will be appropriate punishment!
Gun range ear plugs are a glorious invention... you should get a pair at Wal-Mart
when you cant hear... you don't care... hehe
I don't miss them at
I don't miss them at all!!!!!!!!!! The only time I think about them is when FH reminds me he as them for the weekend and I'm thinking just great let me see what I can do to get away for the weekend...........
well...I'm the odd man out
well...I'm the odd man out as usual....LOL...even tho my skids don't go away for visitation, I miss my them whenever they are away....but again,,,my skids are my only "kids", so I guess I miss them kinda like u BMs might miss yur bios
A mother is not defined by the "b" or the "s" in front of her name, she is defined by how she handles the "mother" part.....
Huh? Miss my son? You crazy
Huh? Miss my son? You crazy girl! I love you..but you still be crazy! lol:)
"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."
..."I'm not mean, you're just a sissy."
Lotus you're not alone! We
Lotus you're not alone! We only get SDs EOWE and I miss them like crazy when they're gone. Luckily I'm able to text them all the time now so that helps but still..... I'd MUCH rather them be within yelling distance! LOL
On occasion if I've had a busy hectic week I enjoy a quiet peaceful weekend but for the most part I love the loud chaos that having all the kids in the house brings! It's just so fun and I'm trying to hang onto all the memories of it I can because all too soon they'll be grown and gone!!!
I'm happy you feel that
I'm happy you feel that way...I can only strive for that then.
Goodness love him, but NO, I
Goodness love him, but NO, I don't miss SS when he's gone. I have a clean, quiet house. I need that sometimes.
"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus
I wanted to add on the
I wanted to add on the putting the clean clothes back in the hamper issue.... ALL kids do that when they don't want to put away their clothes. Perfecton did that when he was younger and my SDs are horrible about it. When I know the clothes are clean I pick them out and carry them straight back to their room.
One time SDs rooms were soooo bad with clothes shoved everywhere that (with DH's permission) I took every article of clothes out of their closet and dumped all their dresser drawers into the middle of the bedroom floor and made them redo everything. That put a stop to a lot of the clothing issues!
You should really try it my
You should really try it my way...SD13 has learned that she has to do her own laundry for the fact that she was lazy when I did her laundry and she didn't feel like putting it away. Now that she does her own laundry I don't see clean clothes thrown around her room and I don't see her doing her own laundry as much as I was when I was washing her clothes. Bonus times two for me...I don't pay as much in water and gas bill and not doing as much laundry. Plus...teaching her a lesson of how to do laundry and hopefully how to take care of herself!
I've got one down, 2 to go!
I've got one down, 2 to go! LOL Perfectson learned laundry the hard way.... I got tired of him saying, at 10 pm, MOM, can you PLEASE wash this for tomorrow? Ummmm... sure I would have but not at 10, go do it yourself. I don't know how.... let me show you then!
He's done his own ever since! LOL
I do miss my SD 15 when
I do miss my SD 15 when she's gone. All of us do. BD 2 will knock on her bedroom door and yell "sissy, Sissy"! She gets upset when sissy doesn't answer.
"If you don’t adapt and look within yourself, you’ll just keep wading in that stagnant poisonous pool of stepparent hell." author: BitchBitchBarbie
Awwwwwwww Jen! That makes
Awwwwwwww Jen! That makes me sad!!!!!
Me to......especially when
Me to......especially when she'll actually break down crying over it. Poor baby loves her sissy!
"If you don’t adapt and look within yourself, you’ll just keep wading in that stagnant poisonous pool of stepparent hell." author: BitchBitchBarbie
Babygirl is too cute:) love
Babygirl is too cute:) love her!!
"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."
..."I'm not mean, you're just a sissy."
OMG! Thank you for asking
OMG! Thank you for asking this question. I am new to the site and I was wondering that same question. I feel so bad when my boyfriend says, "I miss the kids." I'm thinking to myself, "I don't." Then I feel horrible for not missing them. I do love the kids, but damn, alone time with my man is few and far between.
I can just see you sitting
I can just see you sitting there when your hubby pouts i miss the kids and your like hmmm not me! LOL thats awesome.
I'm mean because I have no
I'm mean because I have no filter. Dh will say he misses her (not so much anymore because he sees her for at least an hour every single day) and I'll blurt out "Hm, I know you do, but I'm enjoying the peace." I can't even pretend that my day improves with the "look at me SD show".
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!
I know what you're saying
I know what you're saying sudomom! Especially when you don't have kids that you didn't birth or give sperm to. Some people just don't get it. Don't ever feel guilty about feeling that way because the truth is that the step-parents NEVER have the same rights in 'raising' the skids as the birth parent.
I go as far as planning any
I go as far as planning any fun things for when they are not around. Every time that BM takes them on vacation for an entire month I am in heaven. If it was up to me they'd never come over. I DREAD the EOW with those kids. Uggghhh...We get SD9 tomorrow. HOW FUN!!!
I do the same thing too. I
I do the same thing too. I dont mind having my daughter around to do things because she is well behavied. Not just saying that because she is mine she really is a good girl. I wont even go to the store with BF and skids LOL
I miss them when they arent
I miss them when they arent around. Like I wont see them for almost two months because thier dad is gone. I dont however miss them enought to go pick them up from BM
Is it just me or does every
Is it just me or does every other week (without them) zoom by and when theyre here all you can do is wonder when Sunday will get here??
**I only have one shot at a truly great life and not one spent waiting for a man to notice me, want me, love me and be true to only me. 2010 is the year of "me" **
It's NOT just you! I feel
It's NOT just you! I feel the same way! I actually count down the days and hours until the skids come back. I never tell FH that but I do tell my friends. Some are more supportive than others...especially my brother, just because he hates kids. I don't hate kids but wish they were more disciplined by their own parents and not leave it on my watch to teach them some kind of respect! Skids are so lazy and whiny that I can't even see how they are FH's kids! But I guess it goes back to their BM too. She whines about anything and everything...even calls FH for help when she and her husband can't figure out how to fix their cars or fix their air conditioner or furnance. Call an actual F-CKING mechanic and heating/cooling company and stop relying on your ex-husband, which she CHEATED on with her current husband.
The younger two yes, the
The younger two yes, the oldest one HELL NO! We get the youngins EOW and for 3 hours on Tuesday nights, it's fun when they're here, we do lots of family stuff but hen they leave, relief sets in.
It's funny about the laundry issue b/c our kids do the SAME THING, LOL!!!!
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz
Look at me SD show! Exactly!
Look at me SD show! Exactly! I can feel their time approaching and I hate it. I do the same as Stayorgo. I'm done trying with those entitled bitches and it just means personal time for me when he has them. At least we still have two places. He lives in his only on B weekends for the most part, but the horrible holiday weeks are coming and he's going to want to spend that time at my place. I just hate having them inhabit my space while I'm at work!
No way do I miss them. EVER!
Yes, I miss him when he is
Yes, I miss him when he is gone, and .... yes, I like it when he is gone. His mom and I both do. We enjoy having him around and other than the irritating and usual teen boy brain fart crap he is a pretty good kid. We also enjoy the freedom and more adult related activities when he is gone. As far as adult related activities I am not talking swinging or anything like that. I am talking romantic dinners, weekend trips, going to a casino occassionally and visiting friends and having fun without kids around.
Parents need a reset every once in a while.
As for the laundry deal .... you are far nicer than I. I finally got sick of our son leaving his crap on the floor, throwing his dirties on top of his cleans that I told him any time I saw his stuff that way it was going to GoodWill. He learned when I took most of his favorite clothes to GoodWill. Now he at least hides it all by cramming it in his dresser or in his closet. Not the solution I would hope he would opt for but it is better than leaving his crap all over the floor or the upstairs.
I don't really miss them but
I don't really miss them but at times it seems too quiet when they are not around. My boyfriends kids are the same, they mess up the house, throw their things everywhere, don't do the dishes, etc. The daughter will keep her bathroom things all over the sink and towels on the floor. I ask my boyfriend to tell them to pick up after themselves and they will for maybe a day but then it goes back to them thinking I am the maid. Now I just leave it to him to clean up after all they are his not mine!
HAHA. I know what you mean.
HAHA. I know what you mean. When my boyfriends kids are over all they do is sit on the couch and watch TV. I just want to say "get up and do something!"
NOPE not at all!! This past
NOPE not at all!! This past weekend was my first time with just my kids in about six months; SD13 went for the weekend with her BM.
I will say I enjoyed my time at my house with no girls running in and out or sleepovers from friday after school till sunday afternoon!! I LOVED IT. I caught up on all my cleaning and laundry........What did SD do when she got home
Opened her suitcase and threw all her clothes down the laudryS - clean or dirty; I wanted to scream - cause she won't touch laundry - she told Daddy she doesn't like to do it......UGH
I have a really really good
I have a really really good relationship with my SD10. Its been four years for us. In the past 6 months she started telling me she loves me. Our relationship has always been "good" but in the last 6 months or so (after my DH and I reconciled) its been very very good.
That being said. I'm pretty sure that I love her. I love it when she cuddles with me. When she's excited to see me. Like this morning when I gave her a kiss goodbye before I went to work (she's normally still sleeping).
All of this being said, I don't miss her when she's not with us (we have 50/50) I ENJOY my time apart from her. I enjoy spending one on one time with my husband, or just time by myself.
What I'm trying to say is that, even though I have a great relationship with her and that I can honestly say that if I had to spend my life with a kid, I'm glad its her, that No, I don't miss her when she's not with me.