HELP! Need advice on a 17yr A-hole SS...
Okay I have this 17yr SS who is extremely lazy, disgusting, filthy, rude and has one of the worst mouths I have ever heard on ANY human being! This freaking kids thinks that we should be catering to his every whim but specifically his POOR eating habits. He is always bitching and complaining that there is nothing to eat in the house & bitches to 'daddy' that "I" never buy anything good to eat.
DEFINITION: I do not buy a bunch of shit that has been overprocessed and is full of CHEESE. Since that is pretty much what he lives off of. Do not get me wrong I like to eat fast food/greasy food every now and then but not every day ALL day like he does LITERALLY. Oh how I count the days till he graduates and has "90" days after graduation to get a job and pay rent (if he does not have one already) or get the F out!
This freaking kid has the audacity to tell me not ask but tell me to buy certain shit/crap/food for him to devour! Who the hell do you think you are? I buy the groceries and I buy for ALL not just for you! Well anyways I told him "sure give me the money to buy it" of course his no job no money no etiquette having ass just looks at me with that smirk like "Oh shit" but of course he always has some smart stupid-ass rude ass remark, here it comes "well that is why I do not eat here because you guys only think of yourselves, you never think of me!" (oh boo hoo for you) ((tee hee hee hee, that's me laughing). Well he continues on with his BS boo hooing, with "If we would just learn to buy the right things to eat he would be home more often and that you wouldn't have to hear me complain". Well duh dipshit, if that eleviates our ears and sanity, with you being gone because there is nothing to eat here, then I will start stocking up on all kinds of veggies, seafood and soy. Bottomline he is: UNGRATEFUL, DISRESPECTFUL, ABUSIVE, INCONSIDERATE, RUDE, LAZY, HOPELESS AND HELPLESS.
I am NOT buying into any of his crap and I am NOT buying him a bunch of shit for him to eat that should last 2 weeks and only lassts him 2 days, no joke!! There is a ton of food in the house, he is just to lazy to make himself something. I am so sick of this kid and his sister. They both act like we are suppose to cater to them hand and foot. Screw that! I only cater to my man that way. SS gets jealous because of that too and asks why I don't do anything for him. Again duh! Damn I am so so so annoyed and pissed right now. There are a few other factors that occured last night that added fuel to the fire. One factor was that SS asked why don't I get off the couch and cook him some mac and cheese. I said Y don't u do it yourself since you are staring at. He likes to treat women as though they are his servants/slaves. He thinks that women are beneath him. That they are here to take care of men/him. He is a complete and total asshole. But I get him where I can. Like his laundry. He keeps throwing his clean clothes on the floor and cant tell what is clean or dirty and therefore puts it all back in the dirty clothes basket after being told several times to do so. So my solution: I do not wash half of the clothes that are there, which remember includes dirty underwear. I lay them on the back of the computer chair next to his room as always and the cycle repeats & therefore I repeat mine too. And he does not even know the difference.
What do you do when they are being so self eccentric/ selfcentered? Rude? Disrespectful about females in general? Being demanding? Disgusting? I cannot stand it right now. I wish I could record it and post it on here for all of you to hear. You would be amazed and in shock! Advice please!!!!!!!!!!!! 
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You pretty much described
You pretty much described every teenage boy I've ever known (except for the abuse and disrespect towards women). You have to pick your battles (and I think that goes for every teenager).
How does his Dad act towards women? Was BM a good Mom? SS9 started disrespecting women when BM lost custody (because she was a bad Mom). We nipped that quickly.
"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus
I know that is alot of
I know that is alot of teenage boys but there is still no excuse for being abusive and disrespectful to me or any female for that matter, even his sorry ass mother.
Now that should sum up the quality of a mom, parent and human she is. She never cooked, rarely cleaned, was always drunk or high on pills or both, taught them no manners, cheated, lied, etc... etc... She married a 2nd time divorced within a yr. Has had several BF or just men she was screwing around with and now is 5mo. pregnant with a fellow co worker of hers that she started dating 5.5-6mo. ago. Oh ya she still drinks, lives with her 80yr old mother and has her pay check deposited into her brothers acct so he can pay her 6 figure debt off because she cannot manage it herself, as it would be spent on boose, pills, gambling and frivilous BS. And she doesn't even pay CS or any type of rent/groceries. Go figure! She constantly is distracting her 2 kids any way she can so that think mom is great! Mother of the year I tell you! NOT! VERY VERY VERY BAD mom. The worst.
Dad is respectful towards women. He treats me with nothing but with love, respect and consideration. His only downfall is that he lacks a little in the parenting dept, especially with his bratty 14yr BD. But has been improving every day.
The SS thinks he invincible. Don't get wrong he is far more loving than the SD, as she is COLD & calculated! SHows no emotion whatsoever! Kinda scary. But the SS does love it is more of a front I think to talk his shit. But there is not excuse to be so abusive in general. He does have a temper though. In the beginning we got into a confrontation. He challenged me to punch him. I held my own, but he did take a swing at me, in which dad then stepped in and handled it and finished it. Since then he has not even tried that.
Unfortunately children are what they live. They are a product of their environment. Mom failed in every aspect of being a parent. All she did was incubate/hatch them.
Whoa!!! He swung at you!!!
Whoa!!! He swung at you!!! Have either of these kids been in therapy? Has DH told SS that he will not tolerate this behavior towards you? It does sound like they are a product of what they've lived and need some help.
"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus
I can't really give you any
I can't really give you any good advice because I have never dealt with this before, but I can say (((hugs)))... and you are a good one, because I wouldn't put up with that BS.
~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~
I wish I could send you via
I wish I could send you via "air" a nice carafe of the wine of your choice because it sounds like you deserve/ have earned it.
This is a total lack of any respect. Don't take it, period.
Agreed, SS really shouldn't
Agreed, SS really shouldn't be disrespecting anyone but they have to get to the bottom of why he disrespects women.
"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus
I believe it entirely stems
I believe it entirely stems from his mother not being a parent or mother at all. Since he was 7-8 he started helping dad handle the drunk mother. He would scavenge the house for her stash of boose. He would sometimes come home to her passed out on the couch or on the floor randomly. Once she was so drunk before he came home from the skate park, she was in the kitchen digging into 1 of her hiding spots for the silent clear monster "Vodka", found it and apparently while trying to chug she dropped it on the tiled floor, it broke into a million pieces and she fell into the mess, passed out and was cut up. He and his neighbor friend found her like that, picked her up and put her on the couch and then cleaned up the mess. That night was total mayhem as dad was in China on business, and family was calling to check up on things. Only to end up that she didnt remember telling her then 10.5-11yr BD she could stay the night at her friends on a school night and NO ONE knew where she was at. Dads parents spoke to their grandson and he said check at the friends maybe and thats where she was at. SS ended up staying the night at the neighbors and the shit rolled down the hill from there!
So bottom line he does not think too highly of his mother. He tries to feel differently about it at times but she always some how diminishes that for him by one of her stupid, immature and irresponsible stunts. In my eyes the only way she is a mom or mother is the fact she incubated them (gave birth). Other than that she FAILED herself but mainly them. I feel bad but we cannot change the past and I cannot correct what has already been put into motion.
I know that I have been the only constant in his life. He tells me once in a while that I came too late in their lives. That it is too late for me to save them. I cannot put into words how that comment makes me feel. I want to do for them but unfortunately I have to disengage myself from them in several ways where I cannot do things for them. I believe that no matter what you still know right from wrong. They have to learn many things on their own, especially being 17 & 14 goin on 30! lol
I am so sorry for you guys.
I am so sorry for you guys. Like I said before, they need some counseling. It is never too late.
No wonder he doesn't respect women.
"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus
All I can say is I'm sooooo
All I can say is I'm sooooo sorry you have to deal with that. Perfectson is also 17 and if he acted like that I'd kick his ass. He's just a little too OCD though thank GOD! He showers sometimes twice a day. His room is always clean, bed made, things lined up by size, clothes hung according to color and short sleeves, long sleeves, pants all together... etc.... yah he's a weirdo. LOL But I'll take my weirdo ANY DAY over a filty disgusting boy like that.
Just know I'm thinking about you.
Thank you! I always hope one
Thank you! I always hope one day that it all will just happen suddenly out of no where. That he just takes hold of the bull by the horns. He has the potential it's just a matter if he will recognize it. For his sake I hope that is real soon B4 dad really socks it to him.
I could only hope for that wierdo 2b in my home! I would love it.
He is over the age of 16.
He is over the age of 16. Plenty old enough to get a job at a fast food joint where he can gorge himself to his heart's content. Not to mention, he would be earning money to buy more crap to throw down his gullet if the fast food joint wasn't enough for him.
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Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!!
Oh believe me we have tried
Oh believe me we have tried to encourage himn to get a J O B. But he is too lazy and expects it to fall in his lap. His resolution is to call 'mommy' and have her buy him something to eat. And her being the complete dipshit will and willdrive it over to him. And of course she cannot offer him a home cooked meal because you have to know how to cook in the 1st place, so she supplies him with exactly what he want and likes.
Bottom line he will not look for work unless dad is up his ass and around the block kick him to do so. I have completely stopped buying any frozen treats and all of the crap he only likes. So now he just mooches off of friends and these 46yr old twin brothers whom may I add still live with their parents!! Uuuuggggggghhhhhhhh!
Many of us here have teenage
Many of us here have teenage stepchildren that behave heinously. True that they all eat a lot and many prefer JUNK. I also think it's BS that they report us to their bios for these supposed crimes and for the record, I would have launched into any kid that told me to 'get off the couch' and do anything for him/her. The statement about him not being around to eat because he doesn't like your food...well goody...fine by me. I think you are handling it fine and have the right attitude...you just need to figure out how to not let him get you all fired up. They LOVE to see that...
First of all, STOP doing his
First of all, STOP doing his laundry. What is he 5?? And Simply give him the same non-chalant answer when he tries to get a rise out of you, you were on the right track with "Get a job." Maybe if you respond to his whining with a "Waaah waaaah waaahhh" he'll get the point. Or throw a little fit like a mock 3 year old so he can hear how rediculous he sounds.
Other than your DH whoopin his ass, those are my only solutions!
Dad and I both do not trust
Dad and I both do not trust him with the washing machine. I mentioned to dad that maybe mommy can do his laundry or he can find the laundromat that is 1.5 miles from the house. Oh but wait you have to have money to do that and that would mean that you would have to have a job in order to have money?!?! Hmmmm let's ponder that!
He nor his sister are allowed to do their laundry as they f'd up the other washing machine and do really really stupid shit such as the 14yr SD will put 2 or 3 items (underwear, pants and shirt) in a load and pour all kinds of detergent and softener just because shes not paying attention and doesnt give 2 shits about it. They start pushing all of the buttons and then confuse the machine and then screw it up.
My thought is for them to have mommy do it, that way they can have a bonding moment. And she can finally do something motherly for them. She has not done laundry for them in years, let alone much of anything that I do on a daily basis.
Well they sound like they
Well they sound like they are taking full advantage of you and the situation. Maybe they should only be allowed 1 weeks worth of clothes and the rest should be taken away. That way you only have 7 days of clothes to take care of rather than 15 loads, half of which is clean.
And, they can have the rest back when they learn to respect the washing machine, or start taking their laundry elsewhere to do.
If I stop doing his laundry
If I stop doing his laundry he will try to use it and f it all up! Between the two of them they barely have enough sense to wash their asses, let alone trying to do laundry. They think they know and they dont give a rats ass if they break or ruin something. So with him I only wash half of his dirty clothes and in the end they all get stacked up with one another as though they are all clean! lol
With her I have done that a few times. Because on 'several' occasions now she left a 'dirty used' maxipad on a pair of panties and it got washed with the rest of the laundry! YUCK!!!! Please take note that I tell them all that it is their responsibility to check their pockets, etc.... So any money that shows up in the laundry is mine. Believe me I have scored on some serious dough because of their studpidity!