I didn't know your wife was on here.

Sorry this is happening JB. I know I'm always amazed that Admin and Dawn can both be here. I don't think my STBX and I could have been here. Of course he sees the need to be here as another weakness in my character now. Ironic...
As I see his need to find a replacement person to fill his personal voids as a weakness.

I wish everyone could just get along. You know I'm on a new support group for victims of infidelity, and both partners (the spouse who was betrayed and the spouse who cheated) are welcome. Usually the only people who were the cheaters on site are ones who are trying to reconcile with their spouse of course and want help staying together. So both are on site.

The site is set up so that no one is allowed to vent at the betrayed spouses on their forum, or the cheaters on their forum. Then they have different settings for when a betrayed spouse wants to hear from the cheating side for advice on how to stay married etc.

I posted a q on a forum welcoming the former cheaters to give me advice about my H's lack of remorse/anger with me/refusal to reconcile, as in is there anyone on the site who acted like that before deciding to reconcile later.

On my post a former cheater who is working out his marriage posted that yes, he was a jerk for two years before he realized it.

And his betrayed wife send me a PM, because she said they don't comment on each other's posts on site.

That may be a good rule to implement on here when both spouses are on here.

Just a thought.

I'll send Admin the site so he can see how they have set it up. It's one of the best I have seen and is comparable to this one in set up and usability.

Deleted post - I agree with Stick

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“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”

Jon-Boy / DoingItAgain - I'm sorry that the two of you cannot be on here. I would hate to see it affecting your real life relationship.

But if this site is, then it's not helpful for either one of you - in my opinion.

Hope whatever it is can be worked out. But I have to say to you Jon-Boy.... again - my opinion - you and DoingItAgain should be discussing this in private... not on the public forum. She should have told you about her name change and dropping you / all buddies from her list. I can only imagine the hurt you feel now. I can also only imagine the hurt DIG will feel when she logs on and sees this from you with the responses.

If you guys are using this forum to communicate (or not).. that could be where the problem is.

Maybe you BOTH need a break from this site. And should just write letters to each other. And vent to each other. And then TALK.

I'm not sure where the communication breakdown is between the two of you. But the two of you need to WORK TOGETHER - not separately to fix it.

BEST OF LUCK AND HUGS TO YOU BOTH. I'm really sorry to read this as I like both of you and hope that things get better.

*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***

I hope things get worked out between you two. I like you both. I do understand how hard it is to read some of the stuff written on here by your partner. Truelight has been very understanding, but I know some of the stuff I have written stings a bit.

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Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!!

I'm sorry to see you go jon. I can also understand why you're hurt. I would feel a sting if my husband did this. Being on a site together can be tricky...my Dh and I work together every day,all day but I doubt we would be able to function as valuable members of the same site. I commend you both for a least trying.

Hope you'll change your mind and stick around.

"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."

..."I'm not mean, you're just a sissy."