Big trouble--4 year old hits disabled child. Opinions PLEASE!!! Should my husband have to leave?

I have been married for a couple years to my husband whom has had full custody of his son (now 4 years old) since he was a few months old. I myself have a 14 year old daughter whom I have full custody of. Both children live in the home with us full time and neither child sees their other biological parent (dead beat mom and dead beat dad). The problem is, my stepson is incredibly hyperactive, unable to make friends, aggressive, and NEVER listens. He has isolated us from some friends because they themselves don't like him around because of his behavior and/or their children don't like him. The main concern is that my daughter is severly disabled. She is in a wheelchair, unable to feed herself, non-verbal, moderately retarded, does not walk, wears diapers.....you get the point. And my 4 year old stepson has been caught several times hitting her, kicking her, and even left a number of bruises on her thighs. This has been reported to his doctor and he is seeing a psychiatrist next week.. He just hit and kicked her right after she returned home from the doctor where she received multiple injections in her arms and legs. She is not provoking his as she is unable to. More importantly, she is unable to defend herself and despite being disciplined for this, he continues to try and hurt her when no one is looking. I am to the point where I want to ask my husband to move out and take him with. The boy has NO empathy and does not seem to ever respond to discipline. He is getting worse as he gets older. How much more should I take? Should I ask my husband to move out for the safety and security of my very disabled daugher?

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OMG.. this has me

OMG.. this has me completely outraged.. HOW DARE he hit her.. OMG.. This kid is heartless and cruel.. Your daughter is NOT his punching bag and whipping post.. I dont know how you restrain yourself from hurting him back.

The answer to this for me is kick them out.

Sorry.

I think I have to. I can't

I think I have to. I can't stand him even though he is only 4! my husband is outraged but at a loss for answers. I love my husband but it is my duty to protect my daughter. Both morally and legally. This boy is HORRIBLE!!! Thanks for your feedback.

I am just so surprised there

I am just so surprised there is nothing he can do.

minnesota child protection

minnesota child protection says call 911 when he does this. Then what? He's not going to go to jail? My husband has no family that will take his son, even for a while because of his behavior and lack of space, ect. His biological mother does not want him (reasonably so) and it is believed that she did drugs with him when she was pregnant(which could be why he acts this way) I despise even looking at him. I think he is evil. What kid actually hits a child in a wheelchair who can't even attempt to stop him or cry for help?!?!?!?!?!!?

Children need their parents

Children need their parents to protect them, especially when they are disabled.

I am furious and concerned for you. Don't wait to take him to a psychiatrist next week. Call one today. As for your husband having to leave - not an option.

This won't "fix" the problem. How would the two of you handle it if the kids were both of yours together? Moms and Dads just don't split up to separate the kids due to ones bad behavior. They address the problem full force, especially when it involves violence. Until you can get him to psychiatrist - do not let him be alone with your daughter.

I am sorry you are having to deal with this.

I try to not leave him alone

I try to not leave him alone with her. She has a baby gate on her room to keep him out already. It makes me angry that she is unable to sit in the kitchen or living room in her wheelchair without supervision because he is rotten. Why should she have to be locked in her room because he is rotten and out of control? I despise him and don't know if I can ever look past it. I am a registered nurse and with my education I know good and well children like him are very, very hard to help. When he has hit her, ect, I simply left the room to go to the bathroom, answer the phone, and get the mail. He even did it the very first time in front of me. He made her scream and cry once even but I wasn't able to determine what he did exactly. I have been avoiding my own house because I can't stand this boy. And when I can't stand him, I mean I CAN'T STAND HIM.

What does your DH say about

What does your DH say about all of this? How does he want to handle it?

Maybe - your DH needs to give his son a good old-fashion a$$kicking, like was mentioned in previous post today. When I was little, I kept hitting my sister all the time.

My Dad made me go out back and get a switch so he could show me how it felt to get hit. Now, I'm NOT saying literally abuse the child or beat the child. I'm saying this child obviously hasn't gotten spanked enough.

When he's hit her - what is his punishment?

OMG he has been put in time

OMG he has been put in time outs, put to bed early, spanked, and had his toys taken away. Every time he is told to stay in HIS room since it is unfair to my daughter. For goodness sakes, she is already confined to a wheel chair with no voice, I can't confine her to her bedroom too after she gets abused!!! I don't know what to do. My husband is heartbroken because it is his son doing this and he feels bad for her. He asked me the other day if I wanted he and his son to leave. At the time I said no. I have to watch this evil child for 13 hours saturday and sunday while my husband works including before and after work thursday and friday until 7pm too. Also, wednesday til 730pm while he goes to class!1 I am going insane. My husband unfortunatly has a very selfish and unsupportive family who repeatedly tell him, "well send him back to his biological mother" but that is not an option at all. She litterally will not and cannot take care of him.

OMG he has been put in time

Wow, having all this taken

Wow, having all this taken away and he doesnt care? that just blows my mind. This kid sounds freakin evil. Like the kind that turns into a serial killer, like a sociopath. what have the psychologists recommended?

Your poor daughter.. I can not imagine what you are going through. She is so defenseless and to have this child doing this to her is beyond comprehension.

Maybe just send him back to his mommy, maybe that would wake him up to what a good thing he had going. I dont know.. I think I would. I dont care what it would be like for him.. not at this point. I know it sounds cruel, but really.. he is making your daughter's reality way worse by constantly abusing her.

I have to say I really

I have to say I really agree. I really am sooooo angry with his behavior toward my daughter that I don't care what happens to him . He sees a psychologist 3/8 for the first time. Otherwise, all we have heard is "there are red flags here" from his pediatrician. No sh*t sherlock!! He's mean to animals, other kids (with and without disability), and NO ONE likes the boy. Even my husbands family won't babysit unless they are paid. My mother-in-law constantly says she is too busy. Heck, I can't blame her. I don't want the monster either. My mother in law refers to her grandson as a Hellian........

good lord.. I mean.. what

good lord.. I mean.. what does one do w/a child like that?? Wonder if they deem him to be a threat to others and I mean EVERYONE if they will suggest what they can do to keep your daughter safe, like institutionalize him, give him a perscription to change his behavior..

I really hope you get help soon.. I can not imagine being in this position. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers..

Perhaps he should be the one

Perhaps he should be the one put in his room with the baby gate on his door, and he can be the prisoner in his room. The only problem will be he will eventually figure out how to get past the gate.

The problem isnt with her two children, and while I know people are quick to say treat it that way, this is a child being horribly abused.

Put him in daycare then at

Put him in daycare then at least you will have some time when your daughter won't be harrassed by him.

We all smile in the same language

i completely and totally

i completely and totally agree with 1life1chance.

"if you don't have anything nice to say, then shut the fuck up."

"This won't "fix" the

"This won't "fix" the problem. How would the two of you handle it if the kids were both of yours together? Moms and Dads just don't split up to separate the kids due to ones bad behavior."

OMG. Totally agree. I think sometimes we have to ask ourselves what we would do if the kids were siblings and he was treating her this way? Think of it that way. What course of action would you take if he were your biological son? You should not have to give up on your marriage because the kid needs serious help.

~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~

It took 2 months to get him

It took 2 months to get him an appointment with a psychiatrist. My husband is a wonderful man but a HORRIBLE procrastinator. He keeps saying "I'm trying!" but as a parent with a very very disabled child, I know how to get things done and don't wait for things to go south (like my marriage). Since the first attempt to make an appointment, his son has been caught yelling at my daughter, hitting her legs, arm and kicking her. He is out of control. I told my husband to reverse the situation and think of how he would feel but I don't think he can really understand since it is not HIS disabled daughter. I am just thinking that maybe if I asked him to take him out of the house and they stay with my mother-in-law for a few days he will start to understand the seriousness.

Oh.. I am sure the little

Oh.. I am sure the little monster will turn into a complete angel over there..

I say tell your dh to imagine the little monster tied to a chair then someone coming over and PUNCHING the kids legs and arms til they bruise.. oh.. and by the way, his mouth is duct tape shut so as not to communicate the horrible things that are happening to him.

I actually did give him a

I actually did give him a scenario like that. I constantly hear, "I know WTF!!", "I am sorry!" "I don't know what to do!" And what do I say to that?? I know he feels bad but not as bad as I do for my poor little daughter. She has been perfectly happy, content and safe until this little *******! moved in. I worry people will feel I didn;t try had enough to save my marriage but this kid is making me so unhappy. I don't want to be around him AT ALL. I avoid being home as much as possible with my daughter. I don't think it will get better. I have never in my life disliked and maybe even hated a child

Should I see what the

Should I see what the psychiatrist says on Monday or is it a lost cause?

Should I see what the

Should I see what the psychiatrist says on Monday or is it a lost cause?

This is sad, and it brought

This is sad, and it brought tears to my eyes. To picture this happening. I'd say you have to protect your kid. Even if they were both yours you'd still have to protect her. I have no real suggetions though, but at least to hang on and see what the doc says.

He has an appointment with

He has an appointment with psychiatry 3/8. I worry they can't help him. I have talked with her school social worker, state/county social worker and child protecion. All have documented the information.. School noticed the bruises. I advised everyone to contact authorities if they see anything since I am not getting anywhere alone. That's what I mean though. It seems that I don't feel it is worth it to subject my daughter to more abuse, and/or risk being accused of negligence all to save an evil, rotten child that I don't want around. I don't think anyone can fault me for protecting my daughter from this boy. Even if that means getting him out of the handicapped accessible house I built for her. I just don't have enough love for him.

I even got rid of my cat

I even got rid of my cat when this child moved in because he tourtured him atleast a dozen times a day!!!1 Nothing stops him. Spankings, timeouts, going to bed early, throwing his toys away. Nothing. He kicked my cat, sprayed him with hairspray, ect. The kid is a fu***ing evil. Seriously. My daughter's pca can't stand being around him either. My friends, family, everyone says he is horrible

I even got rid of my cat

Damien

spawn of satan. I really

spawn of satan. I really don't think I can do it. People ask me all the time how I do it already. I am absolutely powerless and miserable. I love my husband but I am horribly unhappy with my stepson living with us. He NEVER leaves. I am sure he has adhd and a conduct disorder but why is that my disabled daughters fault?

Thanks for everyones

Thanks for everyones feedback. I will take everyone's comments into consideration. Thanks much and good luck to all of you!

Angeep - how did the

Angeep - how did the appointment go yesterday?

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Big trouble--4 year old hits disabled child. Opinions PLEASE!!! Should my husband have to leave?

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