I have a hard time telling others my true feelings. I stuff it all down and need to get it out.

I have 3 stepsons under the age of 13, the youngest being 7. I can usually tolerate them but.....

I know they don't like me. They really and truly do not like me. Maybe I haven't gone out of my way enough for them. Or maybe I have....I've done everything I thought someone was supposed to do as a step-parent....

But at the end of the day, I enjoy when they are gone! They are only with us EOW and one night a week. But those few times are sooooo hard. Stuff is EVERYWHERE - nothing is cleaned up, they are complete pigs really....

And a lot of times they just 'stare' at me, no matter what I'm doing. The oldest has a real dislike towards me and doesn't listen to anything I say.

My DH knows his children do not like me....and he doesn't care....well at least he's never said anything to me about it (but neither have I). In fact, I don't even know if he's being faithful to me - maybe I just feel beaten down and low right now so that's why I'm paranoid. When the boys aren't around he's off working. He has a stressful job that requires him to work long hours sometimes so it's really not out of character.

Another issue is that I don't know anyone in a similar situation.

And you know what....all of these years of these 3 boys not liking me....has caused me not to like them. I have to be honest. They are just not nice towards me at all. I'm scared that if I even hint at this to DH - that he'll leave me.

So I decided to post here instead. That's all...thanks for listening