Holidays... ick

Just as a kinda tally,

1. Do you get along with BM?
2. Do you buy her a gift from the skids for holidays?
3. Would you expect your bio children to visit with their step/half siblings at Bms house for a holiday?

1. Kinda, and its getting better.
2. For some of the holidays we will get her something small and she will do the same for us.
3. Never, but Dh does not agree.

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1.no,she's certifiably

1.no,she's certifiably dardar
2.no.lemme add a FUCK no...
3.no.lemme add a triple swan dive Hell Fucking No.

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We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. ~Anaïs Nin

triple swan dive??? Ohhh

triple swan dive???

Ohhh GIGGLE GIGGLE GIGGLE!!

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Rome wasn't built in a day, and my marriage won't be either.

I second BBB's motion. "A

I second BBB's motion.

"A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist counts on the wind changing, a realist adjusts his sails"

I feel exactly the

I feel exactly the same..Hell NO

~Never interrupt your enemy when she is making a mistake.~

~No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.~

1. Not in the slightest.
2. Nope
3. If I had children, absolutely not. Step kids can come over here, why should I dish my kids out when *I* would like to spend the holiday with them. Step kids are related to us. My bio-children would not be at all related to BM. So just makes sense for SC to visit us.

1. No. We sometimes attempt

1. No. We sometimes attempt to be civil via exchanging cards for holidays. Epic Fail.

2. No, but I normally help SD make her a card.

3. Hell to the fuck no.
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Rome wasn't built in a day, and my marriage won't be either.

Aww cards can be just as

Aww cards can be just as cool!

How did exchanging cards become an epic fail? Did she go psycho?

No, she didn't go psycho. It

No, she didn't go psycho. It just doesn't help the relationship. We can be nice by giving each other shit, and that's it.

For Mother's day last year SD gave me a card for stepmoms, and it was signed by ONLY SD. She texted DH "Oh, and you wife is welcome for the card." He said, well, since it was signed by ONLY SD, she only thanked SD!!! Then he proceeded to tell her how when I sent a birthday card over for her son's birthday the previous year, she didn't thank me, so eff off.

Then she gave me a birthday card for my birthday last year (made sure she signed her name this time!), and I told her thanks over the phone.

I sent her a Christmas card that had a picture of SD holding a mistletoe over me and DH's heads and him kissing me on the cheek.

She sent us a card and stuck in a picture of SD from the previous Christmas.

Then my job gave out chocolate for Christmas and I hate chocolate so I gave it to her.

It's an epic fail because all this and we still can't stand each other.

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Rome wasn't built in a day, and my marriage won't be either.

OMG lightbulb I just

OMG *lightbulb* I just realized who Gasolina reminds me of!!! Remember that commercial for some brand of beer and they kept showing that old guy with "bitter beer face"?? THAT is what pops into my head everytime you speak of her especially after seeing that sexy pic you posted:) *gigglesnort*

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We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. ~Anaïs Nin

OMG, that is sooo funny.

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~

BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! ___________

BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

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Rome wasn't built in a day, and my marriage won't be either.

Aw man, I totally missed the

Aw man, I totally missed the picture.

"I have always loved the time before dawn because there is no one around to remind me who I am suppose to be, so it is easier to remember who I am." - unknown

PM me, I'll share

PM me, I'll share lol.

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Rome wasn't built in a day, and my marriage won't be either.

1. we are civil. 2. For

1. we are civil.
2. For holidays we do, but we do it for the kids sake.
3. Absolutely not. They can visit at our home, there is no reason for him to go there.

~I have always loved the time before dawn because there is no one around to remind me who I am suppose to be, so it is easier to remember who I am." - unknown

I wish there was a way to

I wish there was a way to have the majority vote on Step Talk made into relationship law. lol I would sooo be proving my point right now.

I can get along with Bm fine, I can be civil to Bm when she is civil to us. But sharing my kids with someone I wouldn't chose to have in my life if I had a choice, especailly on holidays?? Not a chance.

What the hell is his

What the hell is his reasoning for expecting you to let your child spend time with a stranger on a holiday? And yes, I said STRANGER. She is not a member of your family and she is not a friend, leaving stranger as the only appropriate noun to describe her. I wouldn't let Wingnut alone with my child (if I ever have any) for 3 seconds in the presence of a Priest and the Chief of Police. She's a friggin' loon and I don't need to expose my children to her. She has to expose her child to me because I am married to her child's father. I don't have to exchange that with her.

"A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist counts on the wind changing, a realist adjusts his sails"

His reasoning is along the

His reasoning is along the lines of "It would be good for SD to see us all get along and be able to spend time with her siblings no matter which parent she is with."

I hope the counsellor can set him straight on the fact that I am marrying him... not her... and yes Munchkin is part of my family but Bm is NOT. And also I don't like how things that are "good for Sd" but hard on the rest of the family are acceptable.

Hell no. Getting along at

Hell no. Getting along at exchanges and shit is one thing. Celebrating holidays and taking her sibling with her to mommy's is another thing all together. You didn't marry into his ex family. WTF? Why the hell didn't he stay married and have a mistress if that's what he wanted? Your family is bigger than SD. It is about time he recognize that. SD has a family with her mom and a family with you guys. They don't HAVE to overlap for her to be okay. They just have to be respectful of the fact that they each exist!

"A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist counts on the wind changing, a realist adjusts his sails"

This is something I'm

This is something I'm working on with him. He seems to think, in his child centric way, that since we are adults if we take something (like a bday party on easter) away from SD so we can have our idea of Family Time, that we are cheating her.
Since we opened up communications again, I have been trying to preach the importance of our Family Unit and who I consider part of it and supplementary to it. My mom has always been part of my family unit, but now that it is dh, munchkin and I, my mom is supplementary to our family. She is part of the family, but she is a step-grandma (she found this term in one of my step parenting books and is SOO proud to call herself such). Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and Cousins all have roles in the family but to me they should be supporting roles, not leads.

yeah her baby sibling is not

yeah her baby sibling is not exactly an extra pair of shoes...or a show and tell item. your husband is being ridiculous thinking baby to be is going to his exwife.

frying pan time.

hehehe Frying pan time! lol

hehehe Frying pan time! lol I love it! This is all me thinking in advance, but I want me and dh to be able to handle it when baby is born, instead of us having a huge blow out again like we have done for easter.

I was thinking combination

I was thinking combination blender,crockpot,and frying pan time:) He needs a come to Jeebus moment.

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We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. ~Anaïs Nin

Hey well he's seeing the

Hey well he's seeing the light, I just need to get him to recognize that it is light. Because I don't think he gets it. lol He can admit that its there, and its real, but what it is and how to deal with it... he's still alittle lost.

Maybe I'll luck out like The Wife and get a good counsellor!

Along with a good old

Along with a good old fashioned junk punch.

"I have always loved the time before dawn because there is no one around to remind me who I am suppose to be, so it is easier to remember who I am." - unknown

lol Thats SOOO mean of her!

lol Thats SOOO mean of her! Its good to hear that your Sd knows who does appreciate her though! Good for you for trying!

1. Yes we get along most of

1. Yes we get along most of the time
2. No gifts. She is still kinda warped and would take it as DH wanting to get back together or something.
3. We flip flop holidays each year. So we don't deal with splitting the days. Just Christmas, and yes, I send the girls to their dad's for a while and SS sees his mom for a while on that day.

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~

Yay I was waiting to see

Yay I was waiting to see your reply!

So even if its your visitation you will send your bio-kids to their dad, and your ss to his mom for a bit? Do you ever find this weird? Dh thinks it would be so I'm trying to find out a bit more about it. Has your ex ever complained about having to interupt what he is doing or something to that effect? Do you do this on Xmas day or Xmas eve?

we flip flop thanksgiving

we flip flop thanksgiving and easter by even and odd years. christmas eve we get and she gets christmas day (which means we also get christmas morning). it used to flip flop day and eve every year, but BM liked the consistency. i love it. christmas eve is way bigger in my family and in BFs, and day is big for BM. and if BF and I did have a kid...assures that SD and a baby could open presents together.

See we run alittle issue

See we run alittle issue here. I'm big on xmas day, I don't think BM is but her family is FOR SURE. Her family influences and kinda controls her decisions. I'm sure if she had somewhere else to live Bm would have disowned or just ran from them a long time ago! So maybe in the future I can look foreward to a peaceful holiday like you talk about! But I think Dh with his weird way of thinking, will still want to see munchkin on the day he doesn't have her, so she doesn't "miss out"

so christmas is not set out

so christmas is not set out on a schedule in the parenting plan?

1. I don't get not get

1. I don't get not get along with her. We are Switzerland.
2. Nope. It would be like buying a gift for a stranger.
3. She has met my biokids, and gave them a cold mean stare. My kids told me that she looked like one big scary mama. She will never set eyes on my bio-daughter that I have with dh. I see no reason that she need to scare my daughter with her mean scary troll face.

1. Do you get along with

1. Do you get along with BM?

I would say no - we don't talk at all.

2. Do you buy her a gift from the skids for holidays?
No, DH used to take the kids to buy her gifts until her boyfriend took them and got something for her I believe for Mothers Day

3. Would you expect your bio children to visit with their step/half siblings at Bms house for a holiday?

No, there is no reason for them to go over there - they can come to our house and celebrate with him there

1. Yes and no. I would be

1. Yes and no. I would be more than willing to try if I knew that she was making an honest effort. But she's faker than fake and use to live to torment me. I think she's found other victims in the last year though.
2. I've asked BF if we should, he always says no. So I take his lead.
3. Over my dead freaking body. She's poison and if she wants to poison her own kids, fine whatever. She'll never breathe the same air as any of our future kids as far as I'm concerned.

"I have always loved the time before dawn because there is no one around to remind me who I am suppose to be, so it is easier to remember who I am." - unknown

The faking thing is the

The faking thing is the worse eh? I'm still worried about that with this Bm. How long untill she goes back to her old "I'm the boss and it doesn't matter" attitude.

Honestly, I would be ok with

Honestly, I would be ok with faking if it were just to keep the peace. But BM fakes to get info to later twist so she can play her crazy games. BF and I were talking the other day and I'm starting to wonder if she's not a sociopath.

"I have always loved the time before dawn because there is no one around to remind me who I am suppose to be, so it is easier to remember who I am." - unknown

***We are civil to each

***We are civil to each other (Sometimes)
***No I don’t buy her anything…she don’t buy me anything
***When My DD’s are old enough to ask…or want to go see their half sister they will be more than welcome to go….I might hate BM and she might be a horrible person to me and DH…but she has always been nice to my DD’s when she sees them….and I really want my DD’s to have a close relationship with SD4 so if that’s what I have to do for them to be close I will do it…If that’s what they want..

1. Yes. 2. Yes. 3.

1. Yes.

2. Yes.

3. Depends on if my bio's wanted to. If they want to I don't mind a bit.

Would you make the decision

Would you make the decision for them if they were too young to decide?

Yes I would make the

Yes I would make the decision for them....and it would be no...I would not let them go....only if they are old enough to ask and want to go....

Good stuff. It'll make Dh

Good stuff. It'll make Dh feel better if I put it to him like that. When they are old enough to say if they want to visit over there then they can. (As long as bm stays on the sane road and doesn't swerve off anywhere before then)
Thanks a bunch you guys!

1. Which one??? HAHAHAHA

1. Which one??? HAHAHAHA UMMM...Negative ghost rider! Can't stand them!
2. HELL F*** NO! I spend enough money on those brats when they are with me! I sure as hell am not spending MY money on BM! They don't buy me Happy Step Mother's Day shit!!! Of course I don't think the words Happy and Step-Mother even go in the same sentence!!! Much less on a card! :O)
3. Hell to the N-O!!! If I ever have children...I would rather they just think they are the ONLY ones!!! I have a half sister and I hate that bitch. I pretend she doesn't exist and that works just fine for the both of us!

Wow I am so excited to see

Wow I am so excited to see future posts from you! Multiple Bms, bratty skids and no bios. lol
I think we can be friends (hug)

I need as many as I can get!

I need as many as I can get! I am so happy to have found this forum....it's like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders!!! Venting is such a great thing for me!

1. I tolerate her (a kill em

1. I tolerate her (a kill em with kindness kinda thing) but she hates me and shows it.
2. I bought a gift for her (from the kids) one time and the second time I tried the kids make it clear that she did not want anything from me even if it was just something I helped pick out (except for my cash, of course!)
3. She is as nasty to my biodaughter as she is to me...NO WAY!!!

1. No 2. No 3. No no no no

1. No
2. No
3. No no no no no no no nonononononono!

1. Not exactly yes or no.

1. Not exactly yes or no. We're civil to each other most of the time.
2. No, though I have once. The first year, I gave her a framed photo of SS and his first big fish he caught, it was the cutest thing ever and I couldn't resist sharing it. That was like 3 Christmases ago.
3. NO effin' way. I don't have my own kids, but I'll be damned if I'd want BMs other spawn over and I for damn sure don't want the package deal. If I did have kids, they wouldn't go without me and I wouldn't go.

delete

#3...my DH 1st and 2nd ex

#3...my DH 1st and 2nd ex get together and get the skids together and then they have a great laugh at what a bitch they think that I am. They plot against me and DH constantly...they are both a bunch of nut bags that need some professional help. They brain wash the skids into thinking Daddy is a douche and SM is some kind of monster. NO CHANCE IN HELL would I want any child of mine subjected to those two crazies!!!!

PS....thank God I don't want kids...except for my fur babies!

1. Do you get along with

1. Do you get along with BM?

Seem to. I don't say anthing bad about her at all,I don't know if she does about me. We are kind to
to one another....not friends but get along.

2. Do you buy her a gift from the skids for holidays?

I buy BMs family a gift from our family.

3. Would you expect your bio children to visit with their step/half siblings at Bms house for a holiday?

No way. That question doesn't even make sense to me. DH and Is children see SD when she comes over.

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