Yeah, I don't know why kids nowadays think they run the house and make the decisions. Oh wait, I know why - because that is what happens when employing "child centered parenting" - the wonderful passive style parenting that pretty much lets the kids do whatever they want, whenever they want. The parents are allowing this to happen and it really makes me sick.

What were some of his other "rules"??? Too funny....who in the world does he think he is?

****I can do bad all by myself****

That struck me as being funny. Annoying for the adults in the home I'm sure, but funny to read.

SD once put a sign on her door:

QUIET!!!! I am trying to READ!!!! BE QUIET!!!!! Or else...

I saw it,laughed my ass off for about 5 minutes then tore the sign off the door, ripped it to shreds and then told SD to come clean up the mess from the floor. She was like, "WHY did you do that??"
My reply, "First honey, you didn't ask if you could use scotch tape on the freshly painted door. Second, this sign is rude and all you have to do is let us know by SPEAKING to us that you are reading and don't want to be disturbed. We don't communicate via signs in this house...we talk to each other. And IF you create another sign, it will be destroyed as well and your father will take the door off the hinges if you insist on taping things on it."

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We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. ~Anaïs Nin

Again, don't take it personally.
Kids have very little control in their lives. Especially COD's. They are required to bounce from house to house, week to week, sometimes day to day... how do you think you would fare in a situation like that? Regardless of the whole grounded thing, how would you try to regain some sort of power or control over your life? It's his room - granted, he didn't pay for it, but it's not like he wanted the divorce either - and he has his stuff in there, his bed, his clothes... can't he have a modicum of control over a small space in his life? Isn't that what YOU want in your home, control and respect?

IDK, this kind of jostled me. I grew up having to bounce back and forth - I never had my own space at my dad's house. His kids (three of them) had their own rooms, and I shared the oldest child's bedroom when I "visited" EOW (she was five years younger), and I slept in her bed. I never had anything that belonged to me. Even with the toys I received for Xmas or birthdays, I was made to leave them there, where my half-siblings played with them, broke them or just claimed them for their own. I never felt comfortable asking for anything, I felt like I was an outsider, not wanted, just tolerated. I would've killed for just a scrap of control, to not feel like I had to walk on eggshells the whole time I was there, to feel comfortable enough to have fun, to take part, to be part of their family. But I was not. I felt like a shadow, a ghost, just filling time, fulfilling a duty to visit my dad, not because he really wanted me there, but because he HAD to have me there. Finally, when I was a teenager, I had some control, could make some decisions about when and for how long I went over there. That was a turning point for me. I decided to stop going EOW. My Mom let me. I see nothing wrong with that. If my Dad had been involved in my life, shown some interest in me as his child like he did for his children with my SM, maybe I wouldn't have stopped. He went to and taped every single one of their dance recitals, baseball games, cheering contests, football games. He never ONCE came to my dance recitals, my singing contests or my theater gigs. He never called. And he lived fifteen minutes away. I think that says a lot about how important I was to him. I was the child, he was the adult. It was his responsibility to be the "leader" in that relationship, not mine.

Now, we have no relationship whatsoever. He has seen my children all of three times in the last ten years, and that's because I came to see HIM. I STILL try! STILL! But now, after all this time, I have decided that I will not keep trying to have a relationship with a man who obviously does not want to do the work necessary to have one with me.

I'm not a child any longer, I am an adult and can decide who I want in my life. A child cannot decide that, they have NO control over who is brought into their lives. A little list that makes them feel like they can make a decision for themselves is pretty slight, in the grand scheme of things.

Let the kid have a list. Let him feel like he has some control. Not a lot, just a little. It could pay off later on down the line. It changes nothing for you. Your DH and you are still the adults and make the big decisions. It's okay to let a kid make a little one sometimes.

JMHO.