I feel your frustration! It takes a lot of work to "to accept the things you cannot change", and to just let go. Try to focus on what you CAN do, and remember the best revenge is to be happy. Don't try to rationalize her behavior (it's hopeless), just accept that she is what she is and don't expect anything else from her. I was constantly astounded by the things our BM would do, but when I stopped expecting decent behavior from her, I was never disappointed again. Maybe it sounds cynical, but it has made my life easier.

Hang in there! -- M

Yes, I agree! This is so, so hard to deal with. I completely understand and have been going through the same thing for over two years, so I know how you feel. You are not alone and there are tons of us that are going through the same thing or have gone through the same thing. I have a horrible BM and my skids, although I love them, have some very severe and serious mental and emotional problems. One has autism and one has OCD. Their mom has Borderline Personality Disorder too. Because I fell in love with the greatest, most loving and incredible man ever, I have chosen to spend my life with him, but I also get to have a psycho BM and two troubled step kids in my life too. It is worth it to be with my husband and I am pleased with how much my skids have improved and have high hopes for further progress with them, but it hasn't been easy.

Your goal should be to disengage from BM and skid drama, but it's not something that comes easily and takes time. I spent a lot of time feeling guilty and like I was a failure because I couldn't let go of my anger and it was consuming my time and ruining my time away from BM and the skids when I should have been relaxing and recharging my energy and spending quality time with my husband. After a couple of years, I have realized that disengaging happens over time and you can't force it. Don't feel guilty for your feelings and vent to friends , a journal or on here and it will help A LOT. Step-parenting is freaking hard and there's not a lot of support out there, but there are resources if you look for them. I would highly recommend venting and reading up on step-parenting (there are some great books out there) and blended families. Hang in there and keep reading on here and venting, either in a journal, on here or to friends and family.

There is a great website called www.thepsychoexwife.com written from the perspective of a re-married dad dealing with custody issues and a borderline personality disorder having ex-wife. He transcribes his conversations with her and emails (anonymously) and it's very entertaining and comforting to read about someone going through the same crap. Anyway, welcome to the site and feel free to ask for advice or help anytime. Good luck!!!