Not me. Skids are adults already. They were adults when we got together. Plus, DH and BM split 4 years before I met DH. Doesn't really apply in that way. HOWEVER, SD is very po'ed that I'm a SAHM because she's bitter that she's 21 and has to work now. She would love to be married and SAH, but I don't think that will ever happen for her as she has been told that it will be very difficult to have kids. So if I worked outside the home, it would make her happy and she might not meddle as much. But I don't live to make her happy.

um whats a sahm? I can get most of the abbreviations but not this one! Thanks!

I work full time, but I'm definitely one of the early-jumpers. Moved in with BF at 2 months, he proposed at 3 (we're in limbo on that one). I attribute that to the age gap-I a 25, and he is 37.

I think the quick pace of the relationship hurt me because he wants to rush right through everything and get me to love and take care of his daughter, unite our finances and 'become one'. By moving in, I believe that I gave him the impression that I was thinking along the same lines.

I was unemployed when we first got together, and he was talking like I was going to watch his daughter every day while he went to work...thankfully, that employment gap was nice and short, but I shoulda nipped that thinking in the bud right then and there, because it still surfaces in other areas.

Not the smartest move on my part, I know.

I've had my fair share of drama with my BF.. We started seeing eachother after he moved out of his EW/BMs house.. We work thru our problems.. Things are much better now. We are very happy.. But yes, I agree.. It probably would have been easier and less stressful if we waited.

Doesn't apply to me either cause I am not a SAHM.

I agree. Fools rush in...I started dating my boyfriend just 3 months after he filed for a divorce, and moved in with him before the divorce was even finalized. I think I could have avoided alot had I waited!

Met DH 2 years after he separated from BM. Were together for 10 months before we moved in, got married on our 3 year anniversary. I work full time and sometimes have a second job. THERE ARE STILL PROBLEMS, lol.

Going from having freedom to becoming a SAHM and planning every day around a child is a huge adjustment. Being a SAHM caused a lot of resentment in my situation because I was responsible for my SS full time, while BM had no responsibility. Had there been more communication from DH and BM, with BM being honest about her wanting a break from her responsibilities, I would have been more prepared for what was being asked of me.

I began dating DH about 8mos after their divorce and BM remarried 3days after their divorce. She already had a 2yr old w/her new husband and DH's daughter was 3mos short of her 5th bday. DH and crazy witch separared immediately after his daughter turnes 1. DH had at least 3 relationships that I know of before we ever dated. I did know of him for about 3yrs before as we used to hang out at the same restaurant owned by mutual friends. I never dated him or had any contact w/him except the ocasional hello because of our mutual friends.

The witch still treated me like I stole her husband even though she was prego by someone else within months of separating from DH...

As far as SAHM, I worked 19yrs at my last job, been w/DH 11 and been a SAHM for less than 2yrs. Although a SAHM I have spent over 60k in the last two yrs to keep a roof over our heads of my pre-DH savings...thanks to witch who destroyed us financially.

It is a bit moré difficult for me now because I feel that my savings have disappeared and if anything happens to DH I am out of luck w/no decent income.

The witch lives at our expense...

I agree that too soon is too soon. However, I think that the biggest problem for us is the torn loyalties...
SD feels torn between me and BM.At the very beginning SD asked if she could call me Mom, I said no, you only get one in a lifetime. Choose something else - she calls me Iggy!

DH feels torn between BD and me - his BD is simply not a lot of fun... She is a sulker and a sloth - much happier on the computer then riding a bike. He's an all over the place gerbil - always on the move!

I feel torn between BS and both SD and DH - DH is WAY TOO HARD on him. SD wants the attention when her BD is around, is great w/o him around.

and BM is a bit*h, and messes with SDs mind by telling her about how her father divorced her mom, remarried, and abandoned her...

We married after he had been divorced 5 years. However we started dating after they had been separated 9 months. I however didn't know that for over a year. By then, I was all in. I definitely didn't rush in, I had been widowed three years before I even had a date with anyone.

As for the stay at home mom thing, I am not one. I do However, have a job that allows me to work from home all the time. I have a nice office in the house with doors. However, since I am home, my job is not considered as important, no matter what my husband says. I figured that out last year, when SD decided to only call me when she was sick at school. Now, after that realization and her inability to actually be sick, I no longer will allow DH to not be home. Now with SD not living here, it shouldn't be an issue.

I have the same issue: I work form home - full time and earn more then DH. Regardless, he doesn't consider it real work (because it;s from home I guess) and is always asking why the house isn't cleaner as "I'm home all day." Kids get it tho...

I my case i don't think it will ever make a difference if any changes are ever made. My DH and BM split before the child was ever born............
They were never married either. DH and I live out of state as well. BM still hates his dang guts and gives him hell and anyone involved with him hell to include his family.

SD is now 7 years old, and we have been married since 2008.

She has some serious issues that no one but God can help with. Has filed false abuse charges against us - as soon as we got married, filed a bogus custody hearing, and alienates at every chance she gets. Even after they just left court Sept 09 - and was told explicitly to stop the aliention.

Right now DH has a contempt case against her for taking 7 of his visitations since court. Nothing will help her - unless she gets some serious counseling of some sort.

Im a college student and I run my own little tutoring/housekeeping/flea market freelance gig kind of a deal so no on that one. But on whether or not we jumped in too soon... thats debatable leaning towards yes. I would say more that I wish we were both more established in our own lives than anything. SS came along for dh very young from a not very serious, only been dating a few months girlfriend - BabyMomma was 17 when (her second child) ss was born, DH was 22. I met DH when ss was about a year and a half and their relationship ended when ss was 3 months old. Did i intend to marry DH when i met him? No. Was I planning on taking this wild journey with him? No. SS lived with H's female relatives from pretty much birth until about a year and a half ago. We were both very young, a little wild and in no place to settle down. The short version is that BM kidnapped ss, we got thrown into the court system, forcibly grew up over night, stopped bouncing around, were both hysterically worried about kiddo, got sole custody of a toddler a week after my 21st birthday, designed a toddler room and completely overhauled our house to make it child friendly pretty much over night, had a very stressful adjustment period in which we grew up some more, learned how to be parents, went back to school, realized we couldnt live without eachother, got married, and are figuring it out as we go.... debatable i guess you could say that the jury is still out.