Excuse Me for Being a Blog Hog.

I get home last night and DH tells me that he told SS10 what was going on (that we are separating). I asked how SS reacted. He said that SS10 cried and sucked in his tears real quick. DH told him it was ok to cry and said SS was fine and didn't cry and told DH that he "doesn't want to lose his friend". WTF? SS considers me a friend? I think not. Look at all the things he's done to me (and just in the past couple of months!). I am sorry to say that I think this is manipulation. Then DH said that SS said "I know its my fault and Im sorry Daddy". That really sucks but it's basically the truth. Of course I wouldn't want the child to think that though. DH told SS that it was DH's fault. Thats fine and Im glad he did but it makes me think that SS knew what he was doing all along and it makes me angry. Am I right to feel that way or am I going crazy?

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Spunki~ no where does she say

Spunki~ no where does she say she has "Hatred" towards her SS, she is hurt and her marriage is ending. You are relatively new here and probably have not read her past blogs, there have been ongoing issues and behavioral issues for a while. And not just the typical 10yr old boy behavior. Disturbing things. I have a 10yr old boy and couldn't imagine him having the personality disturbance/behaviors her SS exhibits. Before jumping to such judgemental opinions, take in to consideration you may not know all the facts or past.

Thanks Henny.

I've been following your

I've been following your blogs before I ever joined. I could not imagine living with what you did. You have more patience than I ever would have in the same situation. I am sorry for you for the relationship ending and wish you nothing but the best.

((to you girl))

No worries Spunki, I

No worries Spunki, I appreciate your apology.

Spunki, I understand where

Spunki, I understand where your coming from but I don't think you've read past blogs. Im pretty sure your 10 year old doesn't spit in your brush, take a razor to the walls, write books about control or shooting someone through a pillow, come up to you and say wierd/threatening things. After all of those things, I didn't say I hated my SS. Dislike, yes, hate, no.

You are absolutly right!!

You are absolutly right!! Yes, it is sad.. And maybe for some reason this child was acting that way for attention, but if this child realizes he was wrong, he should have stopped acting the way he did. I would be angry and hurt! I haven't read a lot of your older posts.. Were you and your DH fighting over SS or other issues? And I'm sorry your going thru this *HUGS*

DH and I never really fought.

DH and I never really fought. I didn't want to make him defensive or feel hurt about the thinks I wanted to say about SS. Although when we did fight, it was about SS. It just got to a point that it was working out and I decided I couldn't handle it any more.

Yea, I see no hatred issues

Yea, I see no hatred issues in this blog either...in fact Pantera even showed some compassion for SS10 by keeping the truth from him.

Stepfamilies are hard...and often the children are the reason for it in some form or fashion... even if they are blessed little angels.. its sometimes they way our DH acts towards them that irks us...

Anyways Pantera... it's sad that you're only realizing at the end that your SS actually had feelings for you.. isn't that always the way?

Its sad because I don't know

Its sad because I don't know if he truly had feelings or was manipulating his Dad because he knew he was trying to drive me out. Either way, I told my DH that I loved SS and the other day I told him that it hurts and I miss the buddy I had a couple of years ago. SS and I used to be really close. I hope that SS realizes what I was doing for him. I even told DH that I would stay if SS got an evaluation and went to therapy, if DH and I got individual and couples counseling, and if we all went to family therapy together. DH said no. I actually came here to vent, heck, DH didn't even know half of how I felt about SS, SS has no clue how I feel.

I'm sorry you're going

I'm sorry you're going through this Pantera, I used to not be able to tell my SO how I felt about his kid, and I am grateful that when I was able to voice my grievances, I convinced him that a united front would be beneficial to all involved (me, ss, SO). Luckily, he does not close his eyes when his son is wrong, and I am helping him work through the guilt parenting thing.
After all the things your ss put you through, I don't blame you for questioning whether he is sincere right now, or whether he is trying to manipulate his father to make it all about him, and so that your H could feel justified in having a divorce with you.

I tried to convince DH that

I tried to convince DH that we needed to be a united front, he tried and it worked for a while, he just couldn't continue to do it.

Reading back over your last

Reading back over your last few pages of blogs I have 2 ideas. A) The child is a nut job and needs therapy and medication. He is dying for attenetion from a non existent mother and a father who has no idea how to be a good role model.

Fathers have the responsibility of molding their sons into the men of the future. Your DH hasn't a freaking clue. He ignores the crap this child pulls and smothers him with 'attaboys' for the good things he does. He needs a father who is consistent in his treatment.

Re the hairbrush... A good father would have taken the boy aside and told him he would have to forgo xx amount of lego toys until he paid for a new hairbrush. And then he would buy his son his OWN hairbrush. And why doesn't the boy have his own hairbrush?

Re the report card .... he would pack his sons backpack every evening and lock it in your car. You hand it to SS when he gets out of the car.

Re the tiles .... he would be required to sit there without moving and watch you repaint them. Then he would be on bathroom duty for a month. Cleaning toilets etc.

The boy is screaming for consistent attention and the only person he gets it from is you. Which in itself is very sad. he does terrible things and then sits back with "I don't know" which has worked for a number of years.

I bet you $1000 he has no good friends at school. I bet you he has no table manners. I bet you he has trouble behaving in public. When he was cute ansd little he was coddled and excused because his mother was such a drop-kick and anything he did was for attention. He has a captive audience with you. Hence the tears. Hence the mean remarks about dinner.

If my SS had said things like that I would have looked him dead in the eye and said "Really? That isn't what you said this afternoon when I suggested it for dinner. Maybe you are mistaken." And carried right on eating.

He really doesn't want you out of his life because you are the only reliable person in it. He has no way of telling you because this is the only way he knows. He does things for your attention.

Or he is a nutcase and needs medication and under lock and key.