Can't let this go.....Maybe venting will help!
This happened a couple of weeks ago but I can't seem to let go of it! I thought maybe venting about it would help.
DH and I were at dinner with SD12 and SS11. Just chatting, the kids were venting about their mom being unreasonable and being bored and having to watch their baby sister all the time, etc. SS11 has a 'girlfriend' and was complaining that he doesn't get to talk on the phone to her for more than 10 minutes at a time becuase mom's on the phone ALL THE TIME. I jokingly said "well, maybe she's talking to her boyfriend" when the kids reply with "I wish she had a boyfriend again because then she would have money and we could afford more things." :jawdrop:
After picking my jaw up off the floor I try explaining to them that people earn money by working. Their response: "mom can't work because if she put the baby in daycare she would be sick all the time". Me - "well, sometimes as parents we have to work even when we don't really want to be away from our kids in order to give them a place to live and food and water, etc." Them - "well if baby's dad would just pay his childsupport like he is supposed to then mom wouldn't have to worry about money"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
Really? This is what this woman wants to teach her children? Especially her 12 year old daughter? That you have to have a MAN around to make money? That making babies is a money-paying JOB? It just made me SICK. I usually nod and smile and offer the devil's advocate side when they start complaining about their mom but I couldn't keep my mouth shut about this one. I told them that before I married their dad I was a single mom and I worked 3 jobs (I watched kids, worked at a preschool and worked an insurance job from home) and that I did so while being a mom. And when my oldest was little he had to go to daycare while I worked. It's a fairly normal thing to do ESPECIALLY when you are a single mom. I just HATE that they are being told it's NORMAL for a single mom to live solely off her CHILD SUPPORT. Like having a BABY automatically qualifies her as DISABLED or something.
How does she sleep at night? If her ex's were sooooooo bad that she couldn't be with them anymore then WHY would she rely SOLELY on them to support her? And just to clarify: the 'baby' will be 2 next month. She was never married to the baby's dad as she got knocked up about 3 months after meeting him. This woman is 38 years old for crying out loud!!!!
OK - Vent over.....hoping to feel better soon!
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I think that this is what our
I think that this is what our BM was hoping would happen. She lives in a very old smaller home that was given to her by her parents. Baby's dad lives in a huge fancy expensive home and drives a little red sports car. The kids had even mentioned at the time that they might be moving there. I guess that plan fell through with Baby's Daddy decided he didn't want to deal with the crazy woman carrying his child.
So now, BM has the 3 kids and her in a 3 bedroom house. My Skids are too old to share a room with baby so baby gets to share a room with mom. I guess baby will get her own room when SD turns 18 so baby should be about 8 years old!
Show her what independent
Show her what independent women do! I think young girls should have at least one strong female in their lives.... I can't stand the whiney, need a man to make it ones....drives me up a damn wall!
DH has told me more than once
DH has told me more than once that me being a stong and independent woman played a part in his choosing me as his wife. He knows what BM is teaching his daughter and he can't stand it. He wants her to see how a normal functioning woman of society operates.
I never have reminded DH
I never have reminded DH about any holiday regarding his family.... they're HIS family, not mine... If he does remember, I don't sign the card. They hate me, why be fake?
is that the
is that the www.ihatemyinlaws.com ?
My DH has the same
My DH has the same responsibility about b-days, etc. Not my job to remind him....he's been in that family decades longer than I have!!
BM was the one that decided she didn't want to be married anymore to DH when she locked him out of the house and had him served papers when he returned home from work one day. Her reason: He never helped her around the house. Really you are a SAHM and he works 60+ hours a week and he isn't 'helping' you do laundry....imagine that! Now, this 2nd time around I place more blame on the baby's daddy but seriously believe that at 35-36 years old she should have known how NOT to get pregnant by a guy she had just met 3 months earlier ONLINE!
I have no problem with SAHMs. I've been in the position to be able to do that some myself. When BM just had my SKIDS she did work part-time. It wasn't until she got knocked up again that she "can't work" and "being a mom" IS her job :sick: I might even be less upset if she was AT LEAST good at being a SAHM but she's not.
Oh and yes, she's on welfare too. Free food from the state, free lunches for the kids. SS was just talking about that last night at dinner. Saying how their school lunches cost $2 for everyone else but they got them for free since mom doesn't have enough money. And he says it all happy-like it's the coolest thing ever that he gets to eat lunch for free everyday at school!
A few years ago BM was going
A few years ago BM was going through her 3rd divorce and 4th long term relationship. She told SD who was about 23-24 YO that she stayed in the marriage long enough to have claim on her ex's house and earnings. Nice lesson to teach a young woman, huh? Especially since her ex's mother had gifted the house to her son!
It's a sad state of affairs but I still see so many young women (late twenties) fearful of being single. I try to tell them that marriage is not a quick fix to their lives and that being single is not a bad thing. They just don't seem to get it.
I hear ya, I don't understand
I hear ya, I don't understand the need for a female to be so dependant on anyone.... sad really. Single life was really the best time I had before I married....
Yes, we can look back on the
Yes, we can look back on the good old days.