So, after a year long nightmare of battling the crazy, bitter BM she finally gets it. H finally stands up to her and stands his ground and she realizes that she no longer has control over him. After a few tries I believe it was her bruised ego more than anything that made her back off. She was asserting her importance in his life and he was rejecting it. Instead of continuing to be rejected she chose to be civil because it avoided the rejection. She couldn't control him but she could control putting herself out there to be rejected. I hope that makes some kind of sense, I'm not great with explaining my theories lol.

I'm skipping over MANY incidents throughout that year because I'd be sitting here writing until I developed carpal tunnel (sp?). There was a lot of damage done to our relationship during that year. I have issues of trust and abandonment and I don't feel I can really count on him to be there for me if there's a chance BM or SD may want something else. He left me a few times due to her threats. Yes, he actually moved out of my home and back closer to them because she told him he would be able to see his kid more if he did. She did let him see her more at first but then found out he was still seeing me and she lost her mind and banned him from seeing the kid for a minute more than the court order said he could. This just reinforced to H that he must do what she says or he won't be able to be a part of his kid's life. Not good for me.

Anyway, eventually he realized that he was only going to get to see the kid EOW so he might as well be happy and living with me. I was very apprehensive about him coming back...FOR THE THIRD TIME. I made it clear that just because he finally saw what I had been trying to get him to see the whole time did not mean I was going to forget the pain he had caused me. Also, that there were a laundry list of issues with our relationship because of the choices he had made over the year that were not going away over night...if ever. AND I made it clear that if he chose BM's happiness over mine one more time he would find all his stuff packed and waiting for him in the driveway.

He believed he had the BM situation under control and said my feelings were more than valid and owned up to all the misery he had put me through. It made me feel a little secure knowing that he could see what it all had done to me and the toll it's taken on our relationship. I, being the famous "beater of the dead horse" agreed to give us one more try after making it clear I was not going to put up with one more ounce of crap from BM. And it worked out. He stood his ground and it didn't take her long to back off. They are civil now and are even able to discuss SD without getting into a screaming match or her going down the "you're a lousy father who abandoned his daughter" road.

Ok, BM vs H and I battle won and now we were finally free to be together and work on repairing our relationship and moving forward with our lives. YAY FOR ME!...or so I thought. I had been so focused on the BM issues that I had not once thought about what problems I might encounter as a stepmother to his kid. Well, little did I know, the reality of it was about to drop kick my in the face.