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BM's selfishness/laziness causes SD meltdown

SteppingUp's picture

I picked up SS3 and SD5 from day care yesterday, and on our way home, SD asked why she's no longer in gymnastics. I told her that Daddy and I have both contacted her mother -- for the last two months -- to get her signed up (since neither of us are her 'real parent' we can't do it, plus BM's mother has always paid for it), and that the gymnastics session already started so she's going to have to wait until the next one that starts in October.

SD immediately burst into tears (not my intention!) and cried for almost an hour that she's not in gymnastics anymore. It's frustrating because DF has called BM about it multiple times, I've personally handed her the sheet to sign up and even told her that I can bring the registration form there if she attaches a check, I wrote a list of which classes are still available -- basically we did all the work for her, all she had to do was fill it out, sign it, write and attach a check.

Apparently BM kept telling SD that she is going to put her in dance. Okay, that's all fine and dandy, but she didn't sign her up for that yet either! Not to mention, SD has told all of us that she doesn't want to do dance, that she wants to do gymnastics. Plus, she's really good at it!

So after an hour of crying and trying to calm her down, DF finally got ahold of BM. We had SD talk to her, but could hear BM on the other line. She asked SD "Why can't Daddy sign you up and pay for it? I always pay for it!"

Excuse me? BM who gets child support from SD's BIOLOGICAL FATHER wants US (who don't get a cent from her or even a thank you for caring for her child 50% of the week) to pay for gymnastics? I mean, we would do it if we knew she didn't have any money at all because we know how much SD5 wants to be in it...but the fact is that BM makes more than both of us, plus DF pays her child support for his son! She is getting $1200/month of extra income to take care of her two children that she only has half the time! She HAS money....PLUS her mother has been the one paying for gymnastics. AND even if we payed for it, BM is STILL the one that has to sign the papers!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So DF gets on the phone with BM and she's talking to him with such an attitude about it. Finally he said, "Obviously your daughter really wants to be in gymnastics and I can't understand why you are having a hard time with this. She's been crying for almost an hour now about it, even though we've told her she can join next time. I've emailed you the form, I've texted you the number, I've texted you to remind you, SteppingUp has given you the form and the classes that are available. I told you I'll take Son during the times when she's going to gymnastics so you can just take her without worrying about him. I have been trying to get her signed up through you for over a month. What is so hard about this?"

She of course had no answer because she has absolutely no excuses not to have SD in gymnastics....except that it is easier for HER selfish ass because she doesn't have to drive her there and back. She finally said she'd call to see if SD can get in for this session. She makes EVERYTHING more difficult than it needs to be!

Comments

SteppingUp's picture

I do know understand that if it's BM's money it's her decision and I'm totally fine with that. We were excited for her to be involved in really anything -- whether it was dance or gymanstics or soccer or swimming...and the thing is that BM told her she would sign her up again when the last session ended. She also told DF she would look into dance first, then if that didn't work that she'd continue with gymnastics. She didn't do either one. DF reminded her that at this stage, dance is more expensive than gymnastics, so she actually said, "Oh yeah I didn't think about all the costumes and shoes and stuff. I guess she can stay in gymnastics for awhile longer or I'll see what my mom wants to pay for." And that was the last he ever heard from her about it. She really doesn't have anything against her daughter being in gymnastics because she's agreed as well that she's really good at it. She's been in it for over a year now. How could you not let your kid be in something that they love??

SteppingUp's picture

PS. DF told me that BM's big "dream" was always to be a dancer but she never got to do it. I have a feeling she's trying to push that onto her daughter, so she can live vicariously through her.

SteppingUp's picture

Poor thing! As if gymnastics would ever be one class?? I agree that getting kids involved in as many things as possible is best, then that gives them an idea of what they want to do. And if they like something one year, it doesn't mean they'll like it the next! However, I say keep them in it until/unless that happens!