I am new here and hoping to reach some people that may have some advice and/or input on my current situation.

My husband has a three-year old daughter who, it would appear, thrives on making those around her miserable. Though she does act like a perfect little angel around her father.

Perhaps the biggest concern that I have for her, and for my own sanity (cuz' lets face it...kids can drive you crazy), is the fact that she intentionally makes herself miserable. An example would be an outing to an amusement park. She gets excited..goes on a ride and I notice that for once, she's smiling!! -- she then in turn notices that we notice that she's smiling and she will instantly shut down and cry. She cried and cried to get off of the ride. If you buy her something that she likes, she will pretend that she hates it and that you just ruined her day. If you smile at her she'll sneer at you. At daycare she does the same thing. She is utterly incapable of interacting with other children on any type of 'normal' level. If a child seems interested in playing with her or even stands next to her, she will whine and cry. Interestingly, she will not do this if the child is much older than her.

She behaves very badly when her father is not home. She will throw repeated tantrums for no apparent reason. She will poop or pee on the floor and then tell me, "you have to clean it up now", and walk off. She becomes destructive -- often breaking my things but will break her own things too. She also has had a habit of hoarding food.

It has gotten to the point that my husband had to work out alternate arrangements for her during the day (i work at home), so that I didn't lose my mind..or my job. Now she spends her mornings with her mother (as she should have been) and the last part of the afternoon at a daycare.

I used to dread every single day, when she was staying home with me. Now that she is out of the house all day, it is much better. The problem is that instead of recognizing how much better it all is..I am now dreading the evenings when she comes home -- and the weekends when she is home all day.

I don't want to think so negatively about a child, or allow her the control over my life that she currently has. It seems though that I am at a loss as to how to handle this.

When she is around my husband and behaving very nicely, that actually ticks me off too, because it just goes to show how manipulative this kid really is. If he so much as walks out of the room she will morph into a little monster.

Does anybody have any advice?