Finally!

Some sort of a support group.

I never asked to be a stepmom, but BM has made me feel like I’m inept.

I’m 21 years old, and I’m engaged to be married to a wonderful man (he’s 31) on April 2, 2011. He’s been married before, and as a result, has two wonderful children. SD is 8, and SS is 5. It started off wonderful. BM had no problems with me being around the children or watching them. Perhaps she thought that I wouldn’t be around long. Who knows, but as we get closer to our wedding date, she’s progressively getting worse.

Here’s where I consider this chain of events to begin – FH’s ex-wife was in college, when we first met. FH is a car salesman and was paying almost $900/month in CS. He couldn’t afford this, but when the CS was set, he had gotten settlement $$ from his dad passing. Well, the agreement was that once BM graduated and found a job, she would agree to lower the CS. She didn’t. So after she found a job, FH filed the papers to have the CS lowered. They lowered it to $660. BM blames me for this, claiming that I need to find a better job. Excuse me? It doesn’t matter how much I make. She isn’t entitled to a penny of it. Money drives her crazy.

Things start to escalate from there. After clearing it with FH, I took SD to get her haircut, which she had been complaining about forever. It was over 100 degrees in August, and she had long thick hair. I got it trimmed up for her, since BM “didn’t have the time”. Oh, boy! She tried to cuss me that afternoon. I shut the door in her face.

Things have been extremely tense since then. This past week was FH’s turn to have the kids. His visitation order states that he gets them 2 weekends in a row and then she gets them the next. She came to our home Friday night, claiming that the kids were “not happy” about coming here. I was in the house when she was outside talking to FH. Out of nowhere, she starts screaming at me! I walked outside and told her that she needed to get back in her car. She left. With the kids. She refused to give them to FH because I had called her a bitch. I never did. I would never do that in front of the kids. The kids were supposed to spend the night with FH’s mother on Saturday. She has cancer and flew to Houston yesterday morning for two week long treatment. BM claims the kids “didn’t want to go” see their Nana. That’s a flat out lie. They adore her. FH called the police, but according to them, since the visitation order doesn’t state SPECIFIC dates and times, it can’t be enforced. Wtf.

She fills the children’s heads with lies. It doesn’t work so much on SD, but it’s taking its toll on my relationship with SS. He used to love being around me. Now, he kicks me and calls me a “meanie”.
So, FH calls BM tonight and asks for the kids to spend the night. She tells me that they can come on a night that I won’t be here. Hello? I live here. FH told her that. She flew off the handle. They were divorced over 3 years when I came into the picture, and she acts like I stole him away from her. Quite the opposite. She hooked up with her old high school boyfriend and left FH.

It feels good to get that out.