Something I have been wondering for a long time and still do; why don't more men (or women) make sure that they are ready to get into a serious relationship after they've had a child with someone else (whether they were married or not because lets face it nowadays you can know someone for a second and end up having a kid with them for some reason). I know that not all BM's are "evil" but the vast majority seem unsavory. It seems like A LOT of the issues that come up in blended family situations can be avoided or atleast decreased by a DH or SO that is willing to make the situation easier on the SM.

Like when DH and I were first together, we had a huge boundary issue in regards to him and BM. He was the one that allowed the behavior to continue and by responding to her seemed to egg it on. He was the one that had the power to change that. It took endless arguments and a lot of hurt feelings to get him to see how disrespectful it was. And in the end, he was the one that had to nip that in the bum, not me. So why should I had to have asked him to be respectful of me? To set boundaries?

Or how about all the crap MIL has put on me in regards to SD? He is the common thread there. He is the one that MIL will listen to and respect. So why couldn't he defend me against her rediculousness without me having to ask him to time and time again? It has been obvious she has done things that are way out of line in regards to BM and SD while I am involved, so how come he couldn't take action on his own?

Or maybe how I want to pull my hair out on skid visits because skid has no responsiblities, no consequences, etc. Why can't he parent and discipline and stop coddling and acting more like a friend than a parent and make the visit bearable for everyone involved? He's always emberassed by her behavior every time we see her, so why not take steps to fix it?!?!

How about all the times that he has put BM's feelings infront of my own? All the times that he has stroked her ego due to whatever excuse he spit out at the time? Did I really need to spell it out for him that he was treating me like garbage and putting her on a pedastal? Really?

Even thinking about things in the future. He says he wants to have kids with me. But will he be ready to deal with the "princess" acting like someone took away her favorite toy when a new baby comes? Is he going to be able to not shit on me and any children we may have just so he can coddle her and make sure she still holds the bratty only child sun rises and sets around her status?

My point is, maybe people who have kids from previous relationships should take some more time to sit down and really think if they are ready to get into another relationship....one where they compromise and think about the other person's feelings without constantly being told....