Do you want to cry about it?
Less than a week ago BM told DH in not uncertain terms that I was not allowed to be around skids alone because I "talked about her". Skids are out for T'giving break and decided last night that they didn't want to be with their step dad's mom all day. BM calls DH last night around 7p and tells him that the skids want to stay the night, which means that they'll be here ALL DAY with me. Was I ever consulted about it? No. Did I have things to do today? Yes. Is that out the window now? Yes. OK, well, I'll get over that. It's the almost constant whining that's beginning to get on my nerves.
SD, for the most part, is your ideal child. She rarely talks back, picks up her toys, yada yada .. until bed time. She will fight it until the end. She's 8 and acts completely stupid when it comes time for bed. "I don't know how to turn on the tv." "I want someone to lay down with me." (despite the fact that she will NOT go to sleep if someone is) It gets on my nerves. And when you tell her something about bed, she acts like she does hear you and starts whining.
And then this morning. OMG. SD is still asleep, but SS5 has been awake for about 1 1/2 hours. He's done nothing but whine and cry from the minute he got up. "I'm STARVING! GET UP NOW! FIX ME BREAKFAST NOW!" Well, I get up to fix sausage biscuits and "I DON'T WANT THAT". Too bad. You're 5. You can't cook. Hahaha. It's just EVERYTHING. I wouldn't wake up and fix him a paper airplane. Cry. He wants the biscuits out of the package. Cry. Gah!
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BM has said that same thing
BM has said that same thing to my FDH and he basically tells her, "then I guess they won't be coming over. You are interfering with my personal relationship and life." It all a game to gain control of a situation - which is your relationship. Otherwise what would be the reason? I am sure you don't talk about her to the kids. As for me, I know I don't. I could careless what she does in her life. Now when it comes to the kids, yes I have issues with comments she has made and correct those comments with the kids.
It's important they know both sides.
As to the whinning - I feel for you and hope you can find some earplugs to tune out some of it. lol
It's not that SD is scared.
It's not that SD is scared. She does it to control me and FH (mainly me). She wants me to lay down with her, so that she can talk and whatever else. I've even tried to give her 10-15 minutes to get to sleep and then I'll try to go in the other room because I'M AN ADULT and she starts whining even after that. It's ridiculous. She's not scared.
And as for SS, that might work, if he wasn't scared (again, controlling) to go downstairs by himself.
I've asked her before. "I
I've asked her before. "I just don't want to" is her answer. SD is spoiled. She has to have things her way ALL the time. SD's 8 and she just recently got an $800 laptop and is getting an iPod Touch for Christmas since she lost her iPod Nano. It's obnoxious. And it's FH's mom that does most of the spoiling (as far as gifts). BM just does the "you can do whatever you want" aspect of it.
iPod... it has saved my
iPod... it has saved my life... before SD4 would CRY AND CRY AND CRY when I tried to do her hair in the morning before school... and it used to make me furious! UNTIL my husband suggested that I put my iPod in while I do it... not only did it make me happy, but when she realized that I A. was not going to stop doing her hair, even if she cried, and B. did not have to listen anymore to her tears, she stopped crying completely! Worked wonders! Same when they are stressing me out... I pop my headphones in and totally ignore them! Let them cry and whine! NOT MY PROBLEM!
Amazing, the one and only
Amazing, the one and only time I stepped in to instruct my SD11 that what she was doing was not acceptable (shoving her mother when her mother told her to go to time-out for continuing to whine 'I don't know' and 'why?' to questions she definitely knew the answers to), her BF wrote my SO that I was 'cruel, selfish and self-centered' for telling SD11 that physical violence was not going to be tolerated in our home. When her mother tells me that SD11 was sweet and so adorable when she was little, I simply remind her that SD11's brain and behavior is no longer that of a 1 year old. I have always wondered why permissive parents don't see the reality of what is as opposed to what was...
I advised my SO that she just needs to get up and walk away when SD11 whines or has a temper tantrum when she doesn't get what she wants. Of course, the problem is this - SD11 follows her around and just accelerates the behavior. SD11 acts just like the five year old who lives three houses down from us and I'm waaaaay past being tolerant of the Generation of Entitlement.