Unbelievable

I can not believe what my husband did last night. I decorated the house, by myself, he didn't do anything except bring the boxes up. I wanted to decorate the living room instead of the family room because it's bigger and a prettier room. Anyway, I put up only two stockings, one on either side of the fireplace and told him I am going to put the kids stockings in the family room these are for show. Anyway the sk's get here and start complaining about where their stocking is and of course he can't just tell them the truth he has to buy into this crap and takes down the two stockings I put up. A couple hours later I come in and see 4 new stockings hanging up. I ask why did you buy these, we already have plenty? He said, right in front of his son. 'because you only have up your daughters stocking and not my kids!" I called him a psycho and walked off. I can not believe he would do this and say this right in front of his kid. Who needs a crazy BM when their dad takes care of screwing them up all by himself. Nice way to be a family unit! Keep in mind he has not had a job since August and this is what he decides to spend his money on. I am not wasting anymore money on counseling, he obviously has no intention of making an effort.

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Wow, hugs to you I am

Wow, *hugs to you* I am sorry, that was a real ass thing of him to do. If I were you I would have a talk with SS just to clarify that you had not left him or his sibling out. Those stockings were for decoration and nothing more. I don't know what I would say to DH, probably just bite his head off. }:) (not infront of SS)

StepAside's post is dead on.

Your husband is creating an "us" vs. "them" mentality. He gets instant gratification when he does it because it pleases his children. What he doesn't realize is that it will likely destroy any relationship you have with his kids, any relationship he has with yours, and the relationships the kids have between each other. And it will likely destroy your marriage.

This is one of those things that y'all absolutely have to get counseling for if you want your marriage to survive. Too many of us have seen this play out over and over again.

You cannot allow alliances to form in a family and still expect to be a family.

I am almost never

I am almost never disrespected in my own home. I say "almost never" b/c I have a 13 year old ss who sometimes lets his teenager-ness overrun his mouth. But that happens pretty rarely b/c I've made it extraordinarily clear that when mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy. If you're gonna allow your DH to treat you this way then don't be surprised if it continues. You need to nip this thing in the bud. Take down those stockings he put up and get your living room back to the way you wanted it. You do the decorating so you get to do it how you want. I'm not saying DHs shouldn't have a say in some things, but the way your DH handled it means he needs to get a verbal smackdown and in front of his kids ASAP on this issue.

Your right, I am going to do

Your right, I am going to do just that!

My H's excuse would have been

My H's excuse would have been that he wasn't paying attention when I told him about the stockings. Like THAT is supposed to make it better.

BUT, that still wouldn't excuse your H's behavior because would HE really think YOU were that type of person to exclude his kids??? I doubt it. And if he DID actually think that, that's a whole 'nother problem.

I was told at one time that

I was told at one time that my mother was a "dry drunk." My grandfather was an alcoholic, my grandmother had mental issues and my aunt had her first child at 14. My mom was the "woman of the household" long before she should have been.

Anyway, I guess that's why I have codependency issues and married an alcoholic. I had been saying for YEARS that my H reminds me of my mother. And I moved OUT of my parent's house to get away from her!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow I agree with the ladies

Wow I agree with the ladies here. I would have told him right there in front of the kids what I told him to begin with and that either he didn't listen which is a sign of disrespect or he did hear and choose to ignore which is more of a sign of disrespect and if it is the second then we major problems! And yes I would have said that right in front of the kids so they would know that I was not the wicked witch of a step mom their dad is portraying. I would have been pissed to say the least and everyone in that neighborhood would have known!

See I see this as most step moms problems is keeping their mouth shut. I have never kept my mouth shut when it came to things in my home and if they (dh and skids) didn't get it I wouldn't shut up til they did! I do not put up with crap or disrespect ever!

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