I really need some help/advice. So I think I am going to have to start from the very beginning.....it might be long.....
When my bf and his ex split he walked away with nothing. Not even birthday presents that were given to him over the years from family and friends. She got everything and he agreed to this because he didn't want to fight with her and he didn't want his boys lives to change anymore than they were going to already.
So she got the house and also had to keep the $20,000 line of credit debt "they" had accumulated "together". If they had of sold the house at the time they would have walked away with enough to pay off that debt and that would have been it. No one would have had a home. Seperation papers were then drawn up and my bf pretty much laid down to everything.
He has to pay $1400.00/mth in child support for both children
$150.00/mth for half of the boys RESP savings, $320/mth for half of her car payment and $230/mth for half of daycare. Grand total being $2100.00/mth not to mention he still has to pay half of all extra curricular activities and half for any equipment they need for these activities. The paper also stated that they would have joint custody of the kids. The way it works out is we have them every day we don't work (we are shift workers) this ends up being about 12 days a month which is almost half the time is it not?

After taxes and what not both my bf and his ex take home the same amount of money (roughly $60,000 a year give or take) he gives her half (if not more) of what he makes every month making his income $30,000 and hers $90,000.
My bf and I bought a fixer upper home for pretty cheap. Our household bills all together come to around $1000.00/mth and we split everything in half. After my bf has paid his insurance and cell phone bill he's lucky to have $100.00 left to his name to last him 2 weeks until the next pay. This still has to cover groceries, gas, outings with the kids since when we have them we actually have them all day long not 2 hrs in the morning and 3 hrs before bed time.
So trying to handle it outside of court my bf asked his ex if she would be willing to take $400 a month off the $2100. So he would have an extra $200 biweekly to live off of. As of august the car will be paid for so in total he will have an extra $700 a month which is huge. Especially since we would like to have a child in the near future. Obviously the ex said no to this and that she wouldn't be able to cover her things without that $400? How??? is my question when he pays for half of anything extra and she has $6000 a month to live off of and he has less than $2000?

So we have the boys right now about 38% of the time over the course of the year. Since she isn't willing to compromise we were thinking of going to court and trying to get shared custody since we almost meet the 40% requirement already plus our schedule has changed giving us the ability to have the boys an extra 100 days if we wanted. A) having the boys more especially since the oldest will be in full time school come this year would be awesome for my bf to have that extra time with them but also if this could possibly change the amount he is paying as at almost 40% and full days at that we go through groceries like crazy we still have to pay for clothes for them and shoes and treats and the odd outing to chucky cheese or what have you. Having them 13 days out of a month and still having to pay that much we are sinking and quickly. So I guess my question here is does anyone have any idea about shared custody or if we even stand a chance fighting?
Am I wrong? Were we asking too much for the $400.00. Are we going to spend a fortune in court just to lose? I am madly inlove with this man and his kids but I feel like our relationship is falling apart right before my eyes because of the money stress and I don't believe that $400 less a month will damage anything for her except for maybe the amount of new clothes she can buy herself in a month. Where my bf feels guilty spending $30 on a pair of jeans for himself if that money is needed for more important things for his family. It is truly the saddest experience and I just don't see a happy ending when it's all said and done. He hoped she would understand and agree, I knew better.

Sorry so long, but any words of advice good or bad would mean so much. I hope I have explained this well enough. Just to add, I make pretty decent money too and have my own obligations. I pay for a lot of things that he can't afford for himself and the kids. And I have been paying off his line of credit which is fine but she actually said that I should work overtime when he has the boys if we need extra money. I don't mind paying for their kids but he shouldn't need me to. If I were to die tomorrow he could not afford everything on his own and like I said our bills are cheap! That's what I want her to realize that with what he pays without me he could not provide a decent life for those boys when they were with him. Its already devestating enough to hear his son say "how come we do all the fun stuff at mommy's. In one week she took them to wild water kingdom, marine land, and rented a cottage for a week on a beach. We would have to save for 6 months to do all of those things! Okay rant over. Help please!!!!