me,me,me,me!
It's amazing how one person, a person I don't ever see, a person I haven't spoken to in over a year can put me in such a horrible horrible mood. I have two stepsons, both of which are involved in swimming lessons, soccer and now hockey. Everytime there is a game my oldest SS asks if I am coming to watch. Sadly,over the last year I have had to make up a million different excuses as to why I am not coming. Oh how I wish I could tell him the reason! That his mother does not want me there...EVER! So we played nice and did it her way for a year hoping that would give her time to come around. Well surprise surprise she didn't. I never want my SK's to think that I don't care about the things they have going on in their lives. I want to be there!! So my BF finally decided he had given her enough time (way too much if you ask me) and told her that I would be coming to my oldests hockey game this weekend. Cue the water works! My presence is going to ruin it for "her" I'm going to make it uncomfortable for "her", great "I" have to tell "my" parents that SHE (me) is going to be there. Her whole pregnancies she dreamed about these times when she could watch her boys play sports now I am ruining everything!!! What about the boys? What about what they want? What about the fact that maybe it would be good for them to see their mom and stepmom coexist with each other for an hour so thay they can fianlly stop feeling like they have to walk on eggshells. I just want to go and support my sk's. For the last year I have sat at home alone while my new family was out doing things that I just wanted to be apart of. I am going to be sitting with the ex, her parents and her sister and SHE feels umcomfortable. To anyone who would listen she has told them that my BF left her for me (not so) so I am willing to sit thru this craziness for an hour to support kids that technically aren't mine but she can't suck it up for her own kids. The sad part of all this is that for some reason it actually makes me sad that she despises me so much. I just want to get along for the sake of the kids. It can't help but make me wonder if I can live the rest of my life with this woman in it. I just wish she would come around and put her boys feelings before her own 
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Comments
Why are you going to sit with
Why are you going to sit with them? Why can't you and your bf go sit somewhere together away from her family.
My bf thinks it would be
My bf thinks it would be better for the kids to see us all co existing together. Plus my youngest SS is 2 so how do we keep him from her or vice versa? I am a little nervous but all in all I have no problem sitting with them. She told my BF to tell me not to speak to her. I try to be the bigger person but I just don't feel like it really gets me any where?!!?
Explain to your boyfriend
Explain to your boyfriend that kids are perfectly capable of understanding that their parents are separated and that they will be as OK with it as the parents are.
The kids will also pick up on any negative vibes and to expect all of you to sit together relaxed and happy is unrealistic.
He's not doing his kids any favours by putting on an act in front of them. They don't have to be told all the details of the split but there is nothing wrong with having separate lives. They can be cordial to each other without pretending to be best buddies.
Her drama queen tactics, with waterworks and all, are not your problem or your bfs problem. It is HER problem if she can't cope with the situation.
He should not even be discussing with her whether or not you are going to be there. It is none of her business. By mentioning it to her early he gave her power and control. She needs to understand that she has NO SAY in the matter and by even telling her beforehand he sent the message that it is her business. He plays right into her emotional manipulation. You have to make it clear to him that whether or not you go is between you and him, nothing to do with her and how she reacts or how she feels is not his problem, it's her problem. As long as he sets the situation up so she can take centre stage and make it all about her she is going to know that she has power and she's going to continue to do it. The blame lies solely with your boyfriend for giving her an audience.
Oh I think there is a very
Oh I think there is a very big need to attend their games if they keep asking her to come and why should the SM be left out of the games and these afternoons because the BM can't take it - tough crap - get over it and love your children more than you hate your spouse.
They are a family unit now and SM has every right to spend the afternoon with her husband!!