The Drama Continues....
Luckily I survived Christmas....I swear I don't know how much more of these kids I can take. I have tried OVER AND OVER AND OVER and nothing I can do can satisfy them. BF's eldest daughter who doesn't come and visit anymore because she has to share a room with her sister came over for my Birthday. Her phone needed to be charged and got impatient and was a brat the entire time at the house. She asked BF when they were going home and and he told her at 8:00 like every other time he has the kids. She started chopping at my cake and went and sat in the car doing who knows what. The entire day she never talked to me...but she was the one that wanted to come over.
His middle daughter asked if I could go get her Honey Ham. I bought the stuff in the plastic tub. She didn't like it and it went to waste...she only likes ham from the deli. So....I go to the deli and got her a pound ($8.99 a pound at that.) She asked where I got it and I told her Winn Dixie. She then told me "I don't like it. I only like Boar's Head from Publix." ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? My BF says "oh I'll just eat it." At this point I would rather toss it.
The youngest one is slower then average. She is having to repeat Kindergarten. The child will say my name over and over and over and over and over again. She doesn't stop. She needs to be tested because she is behind. Do you think BF or the BM would go have her tested for anything? NO! I recommended it and even typed the Email to the teacher requesting she get tested for ADHD. BTW...the teacher even said she showed signs of ADHD. So is my BF and the BM complete idiots?
I am not even their SM yet and they totall crap all over me. My BF says he will work on them extra hard but they are all three spoiled brats who have never had any type of discipline.
Whatever I do for my children I do for his and do you think they would appreciate anything? NO. They complain about anything and everything.
What's even worse is that BF suggested we move 2.5 hours away (which would be closer to his work) to get away from the kids. He thinks it will help. I may not have to see them as much as I do now (every day and a half) but I'm sure when they come and visit and it will be hell! I swear when I know it's time for his kids to come, I get the worst anxiety attacks and just "shut down."
But I am still trying...
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Mooooove!!!! I feel for you.
Mooooove!!!!
I feel for you. Hope that made you chuckle
He's probably an avoider.
He's probably an avoider. Sounds like it, he'd rather just eat the ham then tell his D to smarten up. Not good. And not testing the kid?
Please read other blogs on here--other posters have very similar situations and it never improves. They end up doing the heavy lifting and are abused in return. Thankless job. Your BF is the key to how this will go in the future.
These types of things should
These types of things should also make a newbie SM think twice before having any children with a new husband with kids already.
No more here- ever.
I agree, I would have wanted
I agree, I would have wanted to slap my BF and toss the ham! It seems he has no control over his children.. I also agree that I would steer from having kids with him if that does not improve. My BF is an amazing father to his kids, and take any and every chance to see them on days were not even scheduled to have skids. We have them most of the time.. And there is no way we would get ham that the kids had to have! Well, your not getting ham then!!! F that. Do not let them walk all over you honey! Stand your ground and have a talk with your guy
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I agree with dguiwh2334
I agree with dguiwh2334 (hope I got that right!)...they have no respect for their father. How old are your most likely future steps? We had this issue with oldest future step daughter who is now 8 - when she was 4 she was TERRIBLE! She would kick, hit, talk back...anything you could imagine...she would NOT go to bed when told...it was her way or the highway...I put an end to this QUICK! I told FH if we didn't fix it then...it would only get worse...it took 2 full years to get her to where she is now...(75% better)...and we're still working on her...some advice and tips - I don't know how old all of your steps are but you need to deal with this now...whether you move or not...you both need to sit down and set rules for your house even if you have to post them on the wall...I still believe in a swift kick in the ass but if you and your FH don't agree with that kind of discipline - timeout is a terrible thing for a kid. Losing a video game or cellphone is a terrible thing for a kid. Losing computer privileges is HORRIBLE! for them!! We have a timeout chair in the hallway where there is no tv...if they so much as roll their eyes and disrespect either one of us...they are put their for 5 minutes...if they continue to talk back while they are there...we bump up the microwave timer for another 5 minutes...after they have learned to sit there with their mouths shut...one of us goes over to them - we get down to their level - usually on our knees and we ask them why they are there...and then we explain we will not tolerate that behavior...if they agree...they can get up...if they disagree another 5 - and we don't care if it takes all day - they will sit there...they have caught on to this and they are soooo much better. It works for us. It's simple and it works. And don't fall for the whole crying I need a tissue bit either...If they are crying and snotty they sit there! NO TISSUES! It's a way for them to get up and get one! Even if you give them one they will want another and another...! it turns into a game! Tell them: Welp...if you weren't crying for doing something WRONG your nose would not be running...you wouldn't need a tissue...and YOU WOULD NOT BE IN TIMEOUT! Seems cruel - but IT WORKS!
It will always be STRESSFUL!
It will always be STRESSFUL! ....as much as you try...they outnumber you.
Thanks for the advice. I'm
Thanks for the advice. I'm DEFINITELY taking it all in. I guess I should add that him and I would NOT have any kids together. He has had the big snip snip and I have NO desire to procreate with him or anyone else. My future Step Darlings...are 14, 11, 7. My bio children are far from perfect but they get disciplined when they need it. It's weird that he has more patience with my kid then his own flesh and blood. Then again, with the way HIS bio children act I can understand why. But I blame not only their mother but him too for allowing it. After reading the responses...I think I have alot of thinking to do!