You are here

For Your Reading Displeasure. . .

Auteur's picture

Another "stupid" letter from Venus De Milo (SD12) and get this. . .

It came POSTAGE DUE!!!! 95 cents due!!
She filled it with some broken sea shells and a st patricks day pencil! Should have been rejected by the post office and sent back to sender but I digress.

I guess some sap at the post office saw the 6 year old writing on the envelope (she's 12 and writes at a low 2nd grade level) and decided to send it along!!!

It's folded into "eighths" like a "secret" love letter

On the outside is "letter or love note; pick one"

Then expressions such as "kewl" and "u dady" (sic) meaning u daddy i guess. And the word "push!" (HUH??!!)

And here it is; in it's original form and entirety:

Letter is fromwho? Prince Hygiene, Venus D.M., Brainiac, Behemoth (mom)

(Editor's note: there are dollar signs drawn all over the note; a subtle hint; after all it was GG's birthday last Saturday, of course NO Reference to that in this "love note")

Dear dad,
Hey dad, wazup? So (Uncle Kinky's first name) is takeing Prince Hygiene an I to
Cannada in 2 weeks. (Brainiac's buissey)
So live is going greet and I am sick with strep and an ear infectshon.
So, we did some work on the houes, that maid me think of you when we were working (Editor's note: "working" was respelled a few times and written over)
Um. . . . .I'm only failing social studies (Editor's note: a baldface lie; just looked at her grades and she is failing remedial math, language arts, science and social studies)
And everthing ealse is in the 70ds. (see previous Editor's note)
So. . .do you know Justin Bieber? (Editor's note: amazingly she can spell THAT right!)
Well He's HOT!
I'm dateing (name of boy who obviously has no taste nor concept of a budding lesbo), and it's going great!
Um. . .well my cell phone is in (unintelligible) because my cat spillt water all over it!
I'm in drama an its going great its prinsses an the pea! I'm a knight. (Editor's note: no surprise THERE)
My fav TV show is icarly. My fav movie is 17 again. I'v had my first kiss 3 weeks ago
Shhh don't tell mom. It was a quick kiss on the lips! Well um. . .I hope you call or wright about conslling. Teehhee LOL
Love, Venus De Milo

Comments

ubrngoutdbitchnme's picture

This letter just gave me a headache.....I can NOT believe she is 12 years old and she writes like that!

It's a sad world we live in.

Auteur's picture

I'm sure that GG will think it's "cute!" Once again no mention of me nor of GG's b-day. . .hmmmm!

It also indicates to me that she'll be preggers and on welfare by 16 and a full fledged lesbo by 18 (not that there's anything wrong with that; i'd rather see her like women than have unwanted children by some guy who she'd take advantage of)

Auteur's picture

Believe me, I go walking every day after work in an elementary/intermediate school and the 2nd graders there write and spell SOOOO much better than Venus De Milo!!!

oneoffour's picture

Send the girl a dictionary (the basic elementary level you can find) and get 'Dady' to write to her ....

Dear 'Venus',
I am concerned you are passing so well in school but your letter is full of mistakes. When you can write a letter with less than 3 spelling mistakes we can talk about other stuff. I am concerned about your strep throat, it is spread by kissing and can make you VERY ill for a VERY long time. You cannot enter Canada if you are sick. They will stop you at the border. How can you be great if you are so sick?

Take care and study hard in school.

Love
Dad

Auteur's picture

that would be optimal, however he would never do it. He'd rather gripe and complain to me yet I'm not allowed to say anything about it. But then a feeling of warm fuzzy would come over him knowing that Venus took the time to "wright" him!!

Unfreakingreal's picture

It's almost as good as the blog I posted about BM's texts! They write exactly the same! SCARY!

Auteur's picture

Is your BM big, fat, freakishly tall and red headed with a giant silly grin to show off the teeth that her mom and GG paid for?

Auteur's picture

Not to worry. Her BM is a Child Protective Worker and All American Soccer Mom Phoenix who Rose from the Ashes of Divorce!!!

sweetthing's picture

Has he seen the letter yet? What would happen if you didn't say anything to him about it. Let him open it, read it and if he brings it up just respond with " that's nice " and then go on your merry way. It seems like GG likes to pick fights with you what would happen if you made that impossible?

Auteur's picture

Oh that's what I intend to do. He'll read it and either have a fit or think it's cute or both; I'm going to put on my p-p-p-poker face!!!

I think he'll be pissed off though at references to his estranged brother taking her and Prince Hygiene on trips to Canada.

All you Canadians up there; WATCH OUT IN TWO WEEKS!! GET OUT THE LYSOL AND THE BLEACH!!

sweetthing's picture

Good, because otherwise it will probably end up with him saying negative things about your children before the night is through.

Auteur's picture

The Behemoth, a Child Protective Worker by trade, obviously thinks it's "cute" and is probably living vicariously through Venus the way the Wookie lived vicariously through her!!

I wasn't allowed to date until I was. . . .MARRIED!!

Ahhhh. . .young harlotry!!

Notice she could spell Justin Bunghole's name correctly. . .

Auteur's picture

Yeah so that she can have his babies then alienate them from him and take half his money, just like mommy and grandmom did to their baby daddies.

starfish's picture

i don't know what to say.... but save on key strokes and rename her VD ~ that's probably inevitable in her young life as well... more than likely before prego..

Auteur's picture

This particular school district is INFLUENCED by the MAYOR of the town and school district, THE BEHEMOTH!!

She wants her children in as many activities as possible so she can:

1. not spend REAL time with them doing IMPORTANT things like homework or parenting.

2. show up to the activities and look like the proud, all-american soccer mom who rose from the ashes of divorce like the phoenix she is (TM)

The Behemoth and GG are "all for show" parents (i dread even calling them parents)

Symbolism over substance. There are NO consequences for missing school or failing.

Auteur's picture

Yeah right!! She's never gotten permission for ANYTHING!!

Seems the sudden interest in CANNNNADNANDNNA (as she spelled it) is b/c of Justin Beerbong.

Eyes Wide Open's picture

The letter is a very sad commentary on her mother's parenting skills. If she gave a crap, she'd have her in tutoring.

On the bright side, maybe SD will sprout some bodacious ta-tas and marry a congressman or someone like that. She can serve tea and look pretty and blingy and not have to worry about her lack of education skills.

LOL!

Auteur's picture

I have no doubt about the bodacious ta tas. Her mother is HUGE and well, GG has some BIG PECS!! Both her maternal grandmother and paternal grandmother had bodacious ta tas.

I'm sure that's the NEXT thing that GG will say I'm jealous about; VD's budding boy bait.

skylarksms's picture

GG is keeping all the correspondence where you can't find it, scan it and laugh with other people about how stupid it all is....

Auteur's picture

Nope.

1. I'm very good at that

2. The envelope was crushed and torn anyway due to the fact that she had put sea shells and a pencil in it.

Auteur's picture

never have been any boundaries and never will be. I'm hoping I can join the ranks of you mustang1 and october8 and all those others who have freed themselves from the chains of guilty daddying!!