Selfish?
I feel hurt, yet selfish.
DH told BM a few nights ago that he would take SS6 to baseball practice tonight. There’s no reason for this other than the fact that DH hasn’t been able to take SS yet.
I started feeling sick last night, and when I woke up this morning it was full blown. Fever, chills, body aches. I’ve been home alone all day by myself. When I picked DH up from work, I asked him if he’d stay home with me tonight. It agitated him, and well, he’s gone to take SS.
I feel like crap, and on top of that, my feelings are hurt. I’m in tears because I can’t understand why a baseball PRACTICE (not even a game) is more important than me being sick and asking him to stay home. There’s no reason that BM couldn’t have taken SS. She lives two minutes from the field, but DH would rather drive to BM’s house, take SS to practice and then take him back.
I asked my mom to bring me some soup and Gatorade. DH called a few minutes ago to apologize. He told me that there was no reason that he couldn’t have gotten me those things. I didn’t say this, but I was thinking, “HELLO! YOU’RE NOT EVEN HERE!”
But at the same time, I feel selfish. I feel that it is somehow wrong of me to ask DH to stay at home with me instead of taking SS, even though there will be 15-20 more practices.
This is a suckass position to be in.
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In Jan, my fdh decided it was
In Jan, my fdh decided it was more important to take his kid to the movies than drive me to a dr. Appt for two sprained knees (fell off a chairlift skiing. What can I say; I'm not always graceful
I was truly pissed, as I never ask him for help like that and I really didn't feel safe driving as I couldn't hit the brake hard in an emergency ( heck, they'd barely bend enough to get into the car in the first place!) I felt really selfish too, but I finally decided my health should be more important than skid's fun so I told fdh how I felt and he agreed. You have every right to expect your h to put your health ahead of skid's fun.
As hard as it is, maybe DH
As hard as it is, maybe DH wanted to honor the commitment he made to SS a few days ago. Would BM PAS SS about this if he were to cancel 'last minute' to care for you? Baseball, to me, is a bonding time for 'the boys' and maybe DH wanted to connect with SS.
I know being sick is hard and it's even harder to be sick, miserable, and alone. No one knew that you were going to get sick and it's hard for some people to mentally shift gears when surprises come up. Now he is at practice and realizing where he is needed.
I hear ya. It is a sucky
I hear ya. It is a sucky position to be in. Maybe you could have just asked DH to do those things before he left and to 'hurry home'.
He had a prior committment to a little boy that was probably really excited to have his dad take him to practice for the first time and he didn't want to disappoint him. He had a tough call to make.
Sometimes as adults we just have to suck it up when we are sick. At least fdh called to appologize later.
Hope you feel better!
I completely understand, and
I completely understand, and I don't think it was selfish of you to ask!!! But seeing it from his point of view, I can understand that too. Maybe he had already promised SS and didn't want to let him down? Maybe he didn't want to change plans at the last minute (I know I hate when BM does this to DH and I)? I am sorry you are feeling hurt and I hope you feel better and I am sure when he gets home he will take care of you. I am not trying to be insensitive and I am sorry if it came across that way, there have been many times when DH pulls crap like this on me and it makes me feel waaaay low on his priority list, but I thought maybe looking at it from his point of view, he isn't trying to be hurtful to you or make you feel less important, it is just that he had a prior commitment. I hope you feel better soon and I hope DH makes it up to you when he gets home
I agree with the above
I agree with the above posters. It's in all of our natures to want to be babied a bit when we aren't feeling well. He made a promise to his son that he wanted to keep and I think that's admirable. Playing devil's advocate: what would you have thought if it were your bio son with your dh? Wouldn't you expect him to take your son to baseball still? Knowing how our BM is, no matter why DH has to change plans, she will harass him and make him out to be the worst father ever if he even shows up 2 minutes late. Cut the guy some slack.Is he usually thoughtful and caring? He did show concern and want to get you the things you needed.
I am a big proponent of
I am a big proponent of keeping the promises we make to our children, so while it sucks that you are alone while you are sick, I think ultimately if he promised he would be there, he needed to be there. It's no fun to be alone when you are sick but it's not an emergency and I don't think it warrants cancelling his plans.
I do feel your pain though - I hate being left alone when I am sick, but it's part of being a grown up to deal with it myself.
I agree with most posters
I agree with most posters here, you're an adult and though it's tough I'm sure you can handle being alone while sick. I do it all the damn time...in fact I've been sick and taken care of sick children with nobody there to help and pamper me either.
He had a previous commitment and breaking it wouldn't have been good IMO. I think a practice he committed to IS more important then sitting watching a grown adult lay on the bed or couch while ill-but YES he could have picked up those things for you before he left. That's just me though. I have a "tough it out and be an adult" approach w/illness that isn't life threatening.