SD20 Feels BM Is Welcome at Our Home...NOT
SS18..who is only a junior and has another year of high school left due to Mommy keeping him 2 years behind because she thought he needed it..and yet is the worst mother in the world...MAY go to prom this Saturday. Not for sure yet.
SD has let her father know that Mommy would like to 'be there' for her son's 'take off'. Take off to what?
Not gonna happen.
SD and I are not talking in the slightest so I surely don't want her sorry ass here. And her mother feels she can threaten me at any given time when her kids are made to act like the adults there supposed to be.
I told my DH if the BM shows up, someone is gonna be very sorry. She hasn't had custody of her son in over 4 years and we are not in any way a big happy family in order to have her here.
She is ready to go off to jail due to driving without a license..AGAIN...and they have a huge warrant out for her so SD has to be the one to bring her. She lives 2 hours away and SD plans on picking her up so she can come down and get a picture of her son with his date.
At my home.
Not hardly.
These kids are grown adults. There is no reason that Mommy and Daddy have to be together for ANYTHING other than the fact that SD feels it should be so. So I told DH if that's the case he may find me gone and never coming back.
I'm tired of the drama and bullshit with this kid and her mother.
DH is gonna be gone for the bigger part of the week and I am not gonna share my weekend that he comes home with the SD and her waste of skin mother. I absolutely refuse.
Am I wrong here? Thoughts?
- NewBeginning's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Hi honey, I do completely
Hi honey, I do completely understand what you are saying. But, yes sorry I am going to but - her child only has one prom, ok, maybe two. If they can pull off a photo without coming INSIDE your house, I would just try to ignore it. OR, maybe a better and less costly solution for everyone, is for someone (SD, whoever) to take the photo and share it with BM.
It is not right she is so sorry, but, I hate that she would not get to see one of her child's big landmarks. I like sharing the photo better.
I am on your side, but this is one time no one can get back (if is actually happens).!! Of course I do not expect that you invite BM in and entertain her, at all!!
If its that important to BM
If its that important to BM she needs to meet them at the location of the prom and not in your driveway. NYP
Yes, she can meet him at the
Yes, she can meet him at the prom if she feels she needs to. She does not need to come to your home-and if she shows up despite you making it clear to dh that you do not want her there I would be calling the police asap to give them a tip
Nope, you're not wrong. There
Nope, you're not wrong. There is no reason she has to be anywhere near your home to see her precious. There are 187528450273547549 other places in the world she can see him "take off".
Thanks all for your replies.
Thanks all for your replies.
I very much appreciate it.
I just went to Easter service with my family and sat and thought about this while there. I tried to find out if I was feeling in any way selfish or somehow controlling.
I just feel so tired of how my SD feels her mother should be included in things that go on. My SS has not been in his mother's custody since he was 13/14. His mother was declared unfit. She has not paid my DH one dime for him in support. Not one doctor bill either has been paid by her, which was ordered by the judge to pay. My DH has done everything for him. All she's done is show up and call herself Mommy and baby talk him on occasion. He visits her and she caters to his every whim..then allows him to bring minors up to her home 2 hours away and drink.
In other words..a disneyland mom.
She's made remarks such as her kids are her life..her kids are adults. She's telling people that she would never let a man come in the way of that and if her kids didn't like a man she was with she'd dump him in a heartbeat. What kind of lunatic allows their grown adult children have that kind of power? Suddenly she's Mrs. Mom and cares about her children?
Then why is she driving around with her GRANDSON in her car with no license that she lost due to drinking...AGAIN. And my SD is just as nuts because she's allowed her Mommy to drive her son around fully knowing she had no license.
I've tried to get along at my SD's wedding and the birth of her son. BM thought she and I were going to be fast friends..but when the time has been right, she's stabbed me in the back so hard I could feel it in my front. She's tried to tell me my husband's family hated my guts and how horrible I treat my husband.
She cheated on him numerous times and ran up bad checks all over the town they lived in..robbed a gas station which caused them to move away..ran up utility bills in her kids' names when they were toddlers..opened up bank accounts in her kids' names ALSO when they were toddlers and ran up huge overdraft fees that are still in their names on their credit reports...HORRIBLE PERSON in other words..
Most of the time when she has been around my husband she tries to throw the personal touch out there..makes remarks about clothes he's wearing.."Oh you still have that shirt??" with a giggle and wink...tell him how good a color looks on him...or comes up with a cute story of things of years ago...
We just stopped making it easy for her to be around us...seriously.
I've received text messages from her trying to start trouble...I guess I could go on and on...
But the point is I really feel I'm valid in not wanting her anywhere near my home. Her and her daughter are NOTHING but trouble and I honestly am sick of their drama.
But you know the main thing I'm sick of? And please tell me if this makes sense...
I'm sick of feeling like I'm somehow being selfish..or that I'm somehow in the way of my stepchildren being able to enjoy both their parents. When one parent has caused the trouble BM has it truly makes me see why I feel the way I do. In other words, I'm tired of feeling guilty as if I've done something or am doing something wrong.
Thoughts?
Thanks naturalmom. Thought
Thanks naturalmom.
Thought so..:)
"Take Off"???? What does this
"Take Off"???? What does this mean? BM's nuts! What did BM do on HER prom night? Hate to think what BM is thinking.....
Im sure deep down SS is not wanting his BM there for a corny picture!! OMG the kid is a MAN not a little boy! Send SD and her psycho POS mom a text/email with the name and place of the restaurant that SS will be taking his date and inform them that this will be the time and place to get that "special" picture....Discuss this with your SS now...Im sure he would not want to be uncomfortable on his Prom night and in front of his date....He and BM along with his sister can do the photo op out front and Then he and his date can duck into the restaurant for dinner reminding BM of his "reservation" and his need to be a gentleman and not be late...He's most likely dreading her being there and will be grateful for the suggestion....
Good Luck! You are NOT being selfish AT ALL! Just keep your fingers crossed that she will be "in the right place at the right time" and win a trip to the pokie!! With any luck she might just be "held up" when it is Prom Night....LoL! (a woman can dream cant she?!? heehee!)
It's things like this that
It's things like this that BMs need to think about when they decide to be bitches and attempt to cause problems.
DH and I bent over backwards to try and help BM2 and BM3 out. We have traded time, let them keep the kids extra time, let them have the kids most of the holidays and rearranged our plans countless times. The very rare times we have asked for anything it has been like pulling teeth from a wet hen. Those days of being nice and accomodating are over, and it's the BMs own doing that it has to be this way. Now when something is going on on our time that they would like to be included in, it's a no go. They're not invited to our house. They're not welcome here. We don't have "joint" anything. It's just not happening. All because they decided that the spirit of cooperation wasn't appreciated. And now they get to see how that feels.
I agree with MostEvil. I
I agree with MostEvil. I totally understand how you feel about this creature coming to your home. In the town I used to live in, EVERYBODY met at the local park at a set time and took pictures of the prom go-ers. I'm sure that the girl's parents and your SD would like pictures also, so maybe meeting at a public park is a good choice. Perhaps some of his and his date's friends could come for pictures also. Then it wouldn't just be you and her at your house. The focus would remain on your SS and his occasion, not BM.
Nope, you are not
Nope, you are not wrong.
However, find out when BM is planning to be at the house for Prom pictures of your SS and have the police waiting for her. Be a good citizen and turn in someone with an outstanding warrant. }:)
SD's manipulations not withstanding ... I would not allow any one from my SS-18s SpermClan on my property much less in my home.
IMHO of course.
Thanks all! I've looked
Thanks all! I've looked online and found the bench warrant info for her so I have that ready in case she thinks she's gonna make it down.
Sidepoint..SS is totally brainwashed by BM and his sister. TOTALLY. If they told him to run naked down the street he'd do it. And I mean that 100%. So if his controlling sister feels she's going to put her mother in the car and come down to see him off, she's going to do it and he'll have to like it because they both say it.
This is a grown man yes..but one that at Christmas time was seen in pictures at his mother's house surrounded by 1000 gifts. She had gotten her disability check, loans through those CheckIntoCash places and never paid it back..and proceeded to buy millions of gifts for her 2 grown adult children. This way she looked better than us because my husband and I simply bought reasonable for all our kids this year. SS got a watch and coat from us..that's it.
He's 18...and not a child anymore. So BM had to make it look like she was more into her son than my DH was..the usual norm. In his pictures he was sitting on the couch..face flushed with excitement and I could tell that the pic was taken right before he tore open his gifts. He was wearing SpongeBob Square Pants pajamas..I've never seen them here so he must wear them at Mommy's. He looked more excited than most of my friend's toddlers who I saw plastered on Facebook. She got him a huge stereo system for his car and a ton of other stuff.
I don't feel one bit guilty about our choice here either..not in the slightest. I won't be a part of trying to buy someone. EVER.
Anyway..just wanted you all to know how brainwashed SS was towards his mommy and sissy. Pretty sickening. :jawdrop:
God, I hate these damned if
God, I hate these damned if do, damned if you don't situations...Can your DH just tell SD that BM is not welcome and figure something else out?
Some towns have a gathering or a parade where the parents can see all the kids. Does yours?