Yesterday I picked up the kids from daycare. She told me SS3 had had 2 time outs that afternoon, the most he's had in awhile. Didn't surprise me because we suspected the skids had been at BM's mom's house all weekend, and every time they spend time with her they have the BIGGEST attitude problems.

So we get home and it was going to be about 3 more hours before FDH would be home from work. It's me, my baby, SS3 and SD5. To try to keep the story short and not describe every single indescretion, SS3 basically would not listen to anything I said. I even would say, "SS, stop. Listen." I'd wait for him to look at me and then I'd tell him the direction -- like, "I want you to play closer to the house, not so close to the street because it's dangerous" and the next second, he was playing by the street.

He got a time out. Same scenario with different things happened 2 more times before dinner. Finally, the kids were eating dinner and they sat at the table to draw and life seemed good. We had a blissfull half hour.

Then SS went to our entryway and started hanging on our brand new screen door (which he'd already been yelled at not to do multiple times last night). I told him one more time not to do it, and I turned away, then turned back and he was doing it again. I gave him a final time out and told him he'd sit there until his dad got home (20 minutes). While in time out, he started messing around, playing and talking. I said, "You know that time outs are quiet time. If I hear you again you will go right to bed." He said Ok. Then 20 seconds later he was messing around. I promptly took him to his room, handed him his pajamas, and the whole time he was almost half-smiling about it. I knew he thought I wasn't going to go through with it. Then I tucked him into bed and he started crying once I turned the lights off.

Then the "Moommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmy" sobs started...the boiling pissed part of me thought I should be mean and say something like, Does it look like your mom is here? NOPE! but I didn't... how do any of you handle this? I guess it worked becuase he stopped. But it made me feel like such an evil stepmom that he was crying for her.

I was boiling mad when FDH finally got home because I could just tell he was kind of mad at how harsh I seemed. I told him that if he goes into the room and plays nice guy with his son that I would be SO mad at him for not backing me up. He said something like, "Why would I do that?" and I said, "Because I'm sure you feel like you weren't here to see how he was and I'm sure you feel I'm being too harsh on him." And he didn't respond.

A half hour later, FDH was in SS's room laying down with him and consoling him/"talking" to him. When he came back upstairs he was sad. I asked what they talked about and FDH said that he feels bad for him. He said that he feels like he acts out becuase he's so frustrated going back and forth between homes and that if we punish him for acting that way it's going to make it worse.

I told him that he can't guilty parent! SS has to have consequences for his behavior, he obviously doesn't take time outs seriously anymore and so we have to up the ante and start taking away more priveledges or toys. FDH said, "Well I don't get to see him now until Friday and he's going to spend the whole time I'm home the ONE night we have him this week with him in his room? I don't even get to spend time with my son?"

Ugh...FDH ended up being "pretty" good about not giving in to SS but he did go in later and read him a book for bedtime...which isn't the end of the world or anything. I could just tell he was sort of mad at me though.