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thanks skid for ruining my weekend

dakotamom's picture

Submitted by dakotamom on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 8:57am

DH and i had a plan to take a nice bike ride this weekend and go golfing. BM calls at 8 says skids dont have school and ss16 is coming down for the weekend.
DH's new thing is not wanting to leave and do US things when the skids come. everything leaving them at home must be dropped just incase they want to spend time with Dh. DH will still work outside but there is no more bike ride or golfing for the two of us. i'm thinking i'm still going to go golfing. i DONT see the point in dropping everything for them because that just reiterates that everything stops for them.
when will DH quit doing this and why did he start it in the first place?!?!?!?

grrrrr

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alwaysanxious's picture

Submitted by alwaysanxious on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 9:43am

Oh i will on saturday! I'm going to spend the day with a friend and her kids. Hers are still young and have a much more structured lifestyle. Meaning they are disciplined. She has two bios and two steps all around the same ages. They actually respect me too and like my company. Especially the girls. It reminds me that actually children like me, SD is the one with the problem.

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LOL sorry I hijacked your blog dakota. We posted about similar things and I didnt' realize jen asked this question on your blog!!! Sorry!!

Yes, what are YOUR plans?? Something hopefully that will truly get your mind off things Smile

Do you think if SO saw that you don't drop everything for them that he will see the value of it and follow suite?

dakotamom's picture

Submitted by dakotamom on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 10:25am

my guess is he will be pissy that i'm not catering to skid. when i heard how late he was getting there i was relieved as it is past my bedtime. i gave DH a goodnight kiss and started walking to the bedroom. he asked if i was coming back to watch tv and wait for skid - i said no, i'm tired. he left it at that....
so far it hasnt' come back to bite me in the ass.

alwaysanxious's picture

Submitted by alwaysanxious on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 10:28am

yeah mine got pissy too. two full weekends of no alwaysanxious around. I just let him deal with that. He got over it.

Go do your outing. Just for a while. You aren't taking the whole weekend, just a portion of time for yourself.

dakotamom's picture

Submitted by dakotamom on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 10:34am

what gets DH in his most precious mood is when he knows i have the house clean and dishes done and i wont resume until the weekend disaster is cleaned up by either him or skid. he wants to baby them - fine - clean up after them too.
it's funny - DH will now buy dixie cups especially when we know skids will be coming!

dakotamom's picture

Submitted by dakotamom on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 9:10am

i just dont understand the contant babying of these brats!!! my parents would tell me their plans and i could either participate or be left alone. they wouldn't ask me what i wanted to do and wait around all weekend IN CASE i wanted to do something with them.

dakotamom's picture

Submitted by dakotamom on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 10:27am

so are mine....
is this the main difference. our parents let us do things on our own and shape ourselves adn become dependable while skids have to have everything handed to them by BOTH parents because god forbid things didnt work out???
life's not fair - deal with it - might as well realize it when you're little

alwaysanxious's picture

Submitted by alwaysanxious on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 9:21am

I think I would prefer that.

On occasion SO does ok. When we have them more he does less and less. When we only get them two weekends a month, he tries to do things with them.

B22S22's picture

Submitted by B22S22 on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 9:42am

I hope you plan something fun for yourself!!! I haven't played golf in eons, I probably need to get back into it.

My DH would do this -- we'd make plans, just the 2 of us (which always required me having to make arrangements for my DD and DS to go to grandma's). Then at the 11th hour, BM would call and do the very same thing. As DH would talk to her on the phone, I'd see our plans fly right out the window. Heaven forbid we get to do anything ourselves (except the ONE 4-day vacation we take, just the 2 of us every year). And it's always because my DH shares WAY too much information with BM -- he has to inform her of our plans and it never fails that this happens.

Sooooooooo...... the last time this happened, my kids still went to Grandma's house. He stayed home with his two and I just "went away" for the day. About an hour into my day away my cell started ringing, he wanted to know when I was coming home, what was for dinner, where the IPOD charging cord was, etc. I told him he had kicked me and our plans to the curb, ignoring the fact that we need and have the right to do things as a couple. Therefore, I was shutting off my phone and would be home "whenever". >click< I know, shame on me.

And BTW, it's not like he never sees his kids, they live 10 min down the road and they're here every weekend. Which means, BM gets ALL her weekends free and heaven forbid if she'd miss a night at the bar.

dakotamom's picture

Submitted by dakotamom on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 10:31am

this is the exact same with us. they're 30 min away and they're close to a nice shopping center. if dh wants to see them HE has to call THEM to see if they want food or need anything - of course they're not going to turn down food or new stuff....this irritates me. i call my parents to see how things are going, these two call when they want soemthing. but their visits are getting less and less which i do like. i still dread them just as much though.