A happier story: DH tells BM where to shove it
Things aren't all doom and gloom around here, some things have definitely been getting better. As evidenced by this pick-up drama that happened last week.
The custody agreement states that whichever parent is beginning their custodial time is supposed to pick up SD at the other one's house. So in theory, BM would pick her up Friday evenings to begin her weekend visitation, and DH would pick her up Sunday evenings. When I first met DH, he was actually dropping SD off on Fridays as well as picking her back up on Sundays. This started when BM's time was allegedly supposed to start right after school got out, and she couldn't be trusted to pick her up from school on time.
When I started being the one picking SD up from school, I pushed the dropoff time out later and later depending on my work schedule, whether the kids were hungry and wanted to eat somewhere, whether we had errands to run, etc. (DH was supportive of this.) This caused so much BM drama that DH finally told BM that she had to pick up SD on Fridays from our house. (Yay, a victory for the wicked SM!) This is a pretty recent development and went ok the first few weeks.
Then, we moved, and as a result, we are now 15 miles away from BM, instead of 6 miles away like at our old house. Cut to last Friday where we are all sitting around, tired from unpacking and a long week. About 5:30 pm BM texts DH, then calls him. Conversation goes like this:
BM: Can you drop off SD at 6:30 pm tonight
DH: You can pick her up anytime. I can't drop her off tonight.
BM: Why is that? You just don't feel like it?
DH: I'm not going out anywhere tonight.
BM: Well my car is out of gas.
DH: I can drop her off tomorrow morning if you want, on my way to my old house.
BM: But I'm out of gas and I don't have any way to get more!
DH: Well, I can't drop her off tonight, I'm not going anywhere.
BM: UGH. FINE then, I will try to borrow some money and get some gas. F*ck you! [hangs up]
She did eventually show up to pick SD up. DH and I both think this was so bizarre! I wondered if BM actually forgot that she is obligated to pick her kid up to start her visit, like maybe she thought the court order said DH was supposed to do it and he was just being a dick. He doesn't think she forgot. I guess I don't either, but it is so weird to me that this woman who is 50 years old (old enough to be MY mother!!) is acting like some whiny child and expecting people to take care of her. It is so NOT our problem if she is out of money or out of gas - she's an adult!
I was so proud of DH for not buckling under, and forcing her to actually take care of her own self.
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Comments
OMG- maybe theres a site for
OMG- maybe theres a site for BMs with excuses to use to not honor pickup/dropoffs...BM used the gas one 2 weeks ago. Of course, she had enough money to get a fishing license the previous week and this past wednesday (after leaving SS here of course), so i guess the child support money is goinng to something good.
LOL!! Too true. BM has plenty
LOL!! Too true. BM has plenty of money to eat out at restaurants for 3 out of every 4 meals. I see right where our child support money goes to... her hips.
Right? She can't afford a
Right? She can't afford a note book for SS school project but she has gone tanning daily to the point where she looks like an old hand bag...who is paying for that? Oh yeah, us.
HA!!! I guess it could be
HA!!! I guess it could be worse. What would really burn me up is if I found out that BM was taking the CS, investing it wisely, and earning a healthy return on it.
I actually discovered a little trick... I think of it as "paying the babysitter". Doesn't bother me at all anymore!
You know... reading posts
You know... reading posts like this makes me wish CS orders can be modified to
CS total amount is $400.00
BF is hereby ordered to give BM 1 prepaid gas card of $50.00 per month to ensure pick up and drop off is done without interuption.
BF is also ordered to give BM 1 prepaid grocery store card for $200.00 each month to ensure minor child has food to eat.
The remaining 150.00 is to be given to BM via check to use towards: rent, utilities, child care expenses. There will be a bi-annual audit so BM needs to keep receipts of what she spent the $150.00/ month on.
Yes, I know it is a pipe dream, but could you imagine the look on your BM's face to find out her CS from now on would be paid in grocery store gift cards?
Then again, they would probably spend the full amount on beer and smokes...
HA!! I would love that. I
HA!! I would love that.
I fantasize sometimes that BM has to give us her bank statements every month.
I love it! That's how it
I love it! That's how it should be, we're not here to finance BM's new life! Sometimes we write the kids names in the check memo, and send it under the kids names...pisses her off but I notice she still cashes it in a hurry!
My Skids Bm sent the boys to
My Skids Bm sent the boys to school and told them that their father or I would be dropping them off at her house tonight because her car was getting fixed. I picked the skids up from school and at 5pm, we received a text asking us to drop the skids off. My husband wrote her back saying you can send Harassing text messasages to my wife and i and then ask for a favor....We said no and don't ask for any more because the answer is NO! The skids had to sleep over night and I took them to school the next day. I don't get it the BM's say they want their children so badly and yet expect everyone to do the work for them.
You know whats funny...I'm
You know whats funny...I'm getting great ideas to piss off my ex and his new dog.....im a step mum and a bio one with an ex....and an ex attached to the dh.
I just with I cld run to some place and hide