My ss13 bullies my other children as well-I wont call it teasing because it really isnt. They get various insults from being called freakishly tall (this to my 9 year old who is average in height however my ss is freakishly short so she is almost as tall as him), telling the other kids they smell (again this from a child who does not bathe unless forced to and wets the bed nightly), he tells them how nasty they are, he makes fun of them for getting good grades, for being "preps", tells them if they dont do what they say he will hit them, break their arm, push them, etc. For the most part my kids pay absolutely no attention to them. My two oldest definitely do an awesome job at just never even responding to anything he says. He is very agrumentative with them as well. My dd13 was talking about taking alg II her freshman year and he kept telling her she was making it up there was no such class. She kept ignoring him. my 9 year old even intervened and told him-that maybe at his school there is not but there is at ours. Finally my dd13 snapped at him (this was a year ago)and insulted him back and ss literally ran to tell his dad what insulting thing my dd13 said of course leaving out the part of him continually harassing her all morning. Literally. The math thing was just one in a long line of things he had been doing all morning. Of course I followed ss so my dh would be sure to know the whole story.

This is my ss's goal. He insults, pesters, annoys because he is bored and wants to stir up conflict as that is more exciting. Once he gets one of them to respond he runs to my dh and tells. In the past my dh would fall for it and my kid would get in trouble. My children have learned to just not engage with him. My dd9 has the hardest problem as she has not yet developed the maturity to hold back all the time-but she still always starts out ignoring him and will for quite a while, but eventually just loses her patience and insults him back. Your dd is even younger so I imagine it is hard for her as well to "just ignore"-but this is what I would work with her on-from her perspective. Let her know, if she hasnt found out from school, that lots of kids will tease others becaus they feel bad about themselves.

As far as your ss I would simply send him into another room everytime you overhear it. If your dd tells you I would go to him and ask him about it. Tell him that you are going to ask about it each and every time you hear about it and will be sharing it with his dad. Then hopefully dh will be willing to adminiter some sort of consequence. And yes, he should try and spend some one on one time with his son, but have him be careful not to do it immediately following a convesation about his bullying or during a day when he's shown this behavior. We dont want to accidentally reward it. Instead, wait til he has a good day (if possible) and let dh take him out for the evening and dh can tell him how good it makes him feel to know he worked hard on getting along with his sister that day.

We finally called my SS out on his behavior. We tried to do it discreetly, making him use his common sense. But apparently the BM doesn't use "hinting" to straighten behavior.

So we called him down and told him - hands to himself and teasing stopped. SS 14 at 200lbs had the audacity to cry and say DD10 hit him too (at 97lbs and it hurt) I asked how many times she left a bruise or a red mark- he said I don't know. So I said, look she hits you I want to know about it- i don't tolerate hitting, but hands to yourself, because i've SEEN the red marks/ bruises you've left.

That night, BM posted that the stepmonster was at it again and she was tired of "her" hurting her kids.

I checked out- I keep a close eye on my dd, I don't allow them to be together by themselves. and I constantly quiz DD. If it starts again, I have told DH that either she won't be hear, OR he can see his kid at his mothers for the weekend.