Don't you wish CS would look into the ways BM spends?
That should be a requirement before receiving child support checks. Child Support Enforcement should have to review BM's bank account each year to see where her spending is going, to ensure that CS money is going toward the children's expenses. Guarantee 99% of BM's income (after paying rent and car payment and such) go to hair appointments, nail appointments, tanning, higher end shopping stores, and of course the local bar.
FDH is discussing advancement with his boss. But as he said to me yesterday, the more money he makes the more CS she will get...how is that fair? How is it fair to basically punish him for making more money? Especially when she CHOOSES to have other people take her kids half the time. She only sees her daughter 12 nights a month but gets child support?
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I see your point. Yes she
I see your point. Yes she should be able to take care of herself. But this one is in EXTREME excess and then refuses/neglects/"forgets" to buy the kids weather-appropriate clothing at the change of seasons.
I agree 100%. I give my ex a
I agree 100%. I give my ex a spreadsheet monthly to account for the support he pays for our daughter. Whatever is left at the end of the month goes into a saving account for her with matched funds from me.
My EX and I have a wonderful co-parenting relationship because of the way I handle the money.
My DH pays his EX mega child support and still has to cover about 75% of the kids' expenses for the month (lunch money, shoes, etc). Her hair, nails, and clothing are always in perfect condition. }:)
Wow. You are a stepmom's
Wow. You are a stepmom's dream as a BM!
Nice job being so organized. It's nice to see someone who has an acute awareness of how the child support is used for the children like you do. I think that's how I would be if I were in that situation...basically you are covering your own ass in case of future arguments.
Covering my ass is the
Covering my ass is the motivation to do this...and maybe a small case of OCD.
Stepmom - I too would account
Stepmom - I too would account for everything. Before the CS hearing (we're at the second one) I wrote down all the expenses for the kids, put in an extra $500 a YEAR for both kids ($250 each, not $500 each) to account for incidentals, bdays, school extras, fundraisers, awards for good behavior, etc, means about $20 p/m in unaccounted for exp.) and said, ok - pay half of THIS. Basically it was about $700 a month.
The KIDS expenses, not my rent, not my clothes, car payment, car ins., anything.
I also offered to let him claim one kid each year on taxes.
He had 3 months to accept or reject. He did nothing - non-action. The court's assesment of what he is to pay is double what I asked for.
I wish I had the extra to get my hair, nails or soemthing done once a month!! HHAHA! But - it's ok. My Exturd's gf's new boobs look GREAT on her. :sick: Oh, and their new car is awesome too.
Oh, and I've received exactly $346.12 since Apr '09.
So if I were blessed with ACTUAL money from the ex? I would also do such a thing for him. NP. Considering too that my DD is going to need a car and college fund soon - it would be even MORE awesome,
Good for you! When you have
Good for you! When you have nothing to hide, you have no problems giving people details of what you do with the money...It is only those who know they are spending the money on themselves that have a problem.
And guess what? At some point, I am sure that not even your EX will care what you spend it on...because if crazy witch had done that one single day with my DH, he probably wouldn't care. But it's those who say "it''s none of your business" that you have to watch...because really, that's a cop-out of "oh crap! I might get caught".
I remember crazy witch constantly asking for more money from my DH when she received 260USD per month about 10yrs ago. Of course, that means that she also should have been contributing something to her kid...oh yes, maybe another 260USD a month since her income was similar to DH's at the time...Which left crazy witch with about 540USD she should have been spending ON HER kid. Kid never had decent clothes, always too small, dirty, not weather appropriate...idiot BM always saying "she was trying", usually while yelling at DH because she would miss her Friday hair & nail appointment...Oh but wait, she lived with her new husband in her IN-LAWS tiny home, whose mortage payment was 234USD a month since it was basically a SHACK! But, 540USD wasn't enough for a 7yr old... lol
What are the custody
What are the custody arrangements with SD? Is it 50/50 or does BM have them less?
Our BM makes 73k annually...tax free. BM manages that without working and she cries poor
BM gets a shit load of CS and collects even more from her dead husband whom she married quickly and secretly; knew he was terminally ill from brain cancer. BM told her boyfriend, who told my husband, that she married him to collect his death benefits because her alimony was coming to an end with my husband. So BM collects social security from dead hubby for his skids.
I agree with you that the government needs to look into how and where the CS is going and find out why these BM's are not responsible for their children finances as well. BF's don't make these kids alone yet they are taken to the slaughter house as if they did something wrong.
I wish the court system would just wake up and see how manipulative these bitches are in getting a free ride. It makes me sick :sick:
Well SD is a different
Well SD is a different story....she's not my FDH's daughter. We have her 10 nights a month, she goes to her biodad's 6 nights a month and the rest is BM. But BM has "full custody" of her.
Your BM is a goooollldddd digger!
I think what bothers me is that the court system seems to be stuck in the mindset of protecting BMs from deadbeat dads. YES that does happen and there SHOULD be some protection for that. But why are the GOOD dads punished for it!??? And why isn't htere more awareness of deadbeat moms? In our state, the mother has to actualy be negligent or abusive for a father to be granted any custody.
Good luck on that one! There
Good luck on that one! There is a strong lobby with the National Organization of Women that would scream bloody murder if that were ever to be imposed.
The Behemoth (BM who is a child protective worker in her county) would send the skids in rags, in undersized clothes to the point of the youngest saying "shoes too tight!"
I realize that the psycho BMs don't mind sending the skids in rags and probably let the skids wear decent clothes at their house (most likely provided by the SM when she grows tired of said skids coming in rags)
But still! The Behemoth is a vacation junkie not unlike Mrs. Obama. Going on lots of fancy vacations every 3-6 months. That tax free 12K a year from GG's 36K salary really helps with the frequent flier miles!!!
Meanwhile, I have not gone on holiday since 1984.
This ---- The Behemoth (BM
This ---- The Behemoth (BM who is a child protective worker in her county) would send the skids in rags, in undersized clothes to the point of the youngest saying "shoes too tight!"
The story of our life. I just took a pair of shorts off of SS4 (who wears size 5 clothes) because was commplaining they were too tight on his waist. I thought htey looked pretty short in the legs too. I looked at the size and they were 24 MONTH shorts...............
Most of the CS checks I
Most of the CS checks I received went to day care and private school tuition. There were years I taught summer school and worked a 2nd job(toys r us) during Christmas I never expected DS's dad to be the only one supporting him I didn't live off ofCS
PS - your choice to send your
PS - your choice to send your child to private school and spend it that way...yes, you might be spending it all on her and having no money for yourself, but that is a choice you make by sending your child to private school.
I would just like to see bm
I would just like to see bm give us some money every so often for her son that is with us full time. And when I say full time I mean he never sees her. Two weekends in the last almost 2 years. And frankly, if she gave us cs and ever had the nerve to ask how we spent it she would get an ear full. It's no one else's business what dh and I pay for living expenses.
Taking care of your kid isn't
Taking care of your kid isn't punishment.
If DF ever told me CS had anything to do with him not moving up at work, I'd be livid. That choice would hurt his kids and us.
I think some SPs want BPs and SKs to live like riff raff.
I see what you're saying. And
I see what you're saying. And FDH is NOT using it as an excuse not to move up, it's just unfortunate that if he does, she could go back to get more child support because he makes more money, which would make the more money null and void...and we have his kid half the time now (even though he fought her for joint custody but she fought back and it wasn't granted, now that she gets CS check she's okay with him having his son half hte time) and we take HER kid 10 days a month too! Just highlighting hte unfairness...not saying that child support is wasting money or whatever.
If we could split everything 50/50 because we have hte kid 50/50 that would just make more sense.
If dad's salary decreases,
If dad's salary decreases, should he be able to request CS be lowered?
I do believe that there are
I do believe that there are situations where this would be applicable...and I know there are some forms to do jsut that. If the dad can no longer support himself and his household because he is paying child support to his ex based on a wage he USED to be earning thta is drastically different than his income now, yes, CS should be lowered, imo.
I agree with this, AND, I
I agree with this, AND, I don't care if the BM and the SK's live like riffraff. If they do, it's BM's fault. DH pays plenty in child support, and there would be no financial issues in that household if 1) BM would get a J O B instead of trying to live off of $920.00 a month for her and SD, and 2) she would stop filing crap legal appeals to everything under the sun with her most recent ex.
I don't care if they live in a cardboard box. If she was truly concerned about SD needing something, she would get a job or give custody to us. It's not our place to support that crazy bitch 7 years after the divorce.
I don't understand why they
I don't understand why they don't do child support on something like a food stamps card. There'd be a set amount on there and it would document every transaction. I think the transactions should be accessable online to the parent paying child support, and if the parent on the receiving end spends the money on household bills and things for kids, they'd have nothing to worry about. Added bonus- card would not work as cash to the dope man/ local bar lol. I'm just sick of BM sending SS here asking for things saying "My mom has no money." No, honey, your dad has to give your mom tons of money each month for you, it's not your dad's fault she chooses to spend that money on herself and her shopping addiction.
Yup I hear ya! We get the sob
Yup I hear ya! We get the sob story from SD6 -- who is not FDH's daughter -- that mommy said she has no money for school supplies, and asked us if WE could buy them for her!! so how do you explain to a 6 year old! I had to say, "Well that is your mommy and Daddy Biodad's responsibility to pay for things like that."
All they have to do is take
All they have to do is take the card to a bodega or any other local shop. The guy runs a fake charge for say $100 then hands over $50. The owner gets credit for $100 transaction and the card holder gets $50 to give to the crack man.
The cards were intended to
The cards were intended to put a stop to the cheating but people always find a way. Heck they even have a wa to cheat with WIC.
True, there is so much abuse
True, there is so much abuse of the system-BUT I guess some politicians think it's the best thing for them-keep then enslaved to years of the system and entitlement winning votes for them.
THe whole thing needs to be revamped. Funny enough the only one that did anything towards that goal was Clinton.
What BM spends CS on is her
What BM spends CS on is her business. Hopefully, the kids got taken care of. For many years, BM spent the CS on *whatever* and we paid for ECs and bought her extra clothing.
Well, when custody changed to us, BM sold the house (cash profit of $500M) and quit her job so she didn't have to pay CS. Matter of fact, we got custody AND had to PAY CS to her still.
We could afford it. BM was making a house payment because she *needed* a 4 bedroom house for her and SD.
Love family court.
Now? XH is supposed to pay big $$ for CS. If and when he does, I'll spend it however the hell I choose. I've been supporting all four of his kids on my own for years. If I want to have my hair done, have fake nails, and drive a Benz, I damn sure will!
The idea of "tracking" what CS gets spent on is a logisitical nightmare. The amount of money spent to enforce something like that would b ridiculous... no return on investment there
"For many years, BM spent the
"For many years, BM spent the CS on *whatever* and we paid for ECs and bought her extra clothing."
See, to me, that is just silly. Child support is called child support for a reason. I never asked my ex to pay for extras, and we certainly do not pay for any out of our house, whether we can afford it or not. If BM wants to blow it all on crack and a Benz, that is her call, but I won't pitch in to offset her arreages with SD.
It could be silly. Basically,
It could be silly.
Basically, we figured that we could not control what BM spent her income and CS on. If we took care of the costs for these other things, we KNEW SD was benefitting from them. Ultimately, taking care of SD was our priority. It stings that BM made off with a fortune from the house, but she blew through it in a couple of years and is back to work now so she can live.
Karma, I suppose.
I agree, or some measure of
I agree, or some measure of accountability. The DH and I would love to know why she is begging for more money when other people pay for SD7 school supplies/clothes/shoes/etc. Also, SD2 wears older sisters hand-me-downs and is being watched by DH's mom throughout the day; yet, BM makes more money than my husband, gets an extra 520 a month, but she still is behind in her bills? Would love to see where the money is going, because the majority is not towards the kids.
Yes, BM makes more than FDH
Yes, BM makes more than FDH and gets bonuses during the year yet she can't afford to put the kids in activities (gymnastics costs $60/kid for 8 week session). And she brags on FB about her spending spree at Betsey Johnson a few weeks ago.
Wow! Does seem that S.A. has
Wow! Does seem that S.A. has a good system to keep CS "fair".