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Are all guys this clueless?

SisterNeko's picture

I Love BF but Sunday it was like he was in his own little world and I had enough of biting my tongue so I said some things, not really bad but just kind of pointed something things out to him.

it started in the morning, we were talking in the kitchen. I don't even know what we were talking about but he said "my boys are good boys." - which he has said that before but I usually just let it go, but I had spent all week home with a sick SS4 (not that he behaves much better when he feels good mind you) and it was just one of those days. I was like you really think so? I'll give him that SS6 is a pretty good kid, his issues are minor but SS4 is a whole another animal. He started comparing the kids to his nieces and nephews, who I would gladly take ANY day. I pointed out that 2 for his nephews are SS4's age and they don't poop their pants (accept the occasional accident), they eat whatever you put in front of them, they don't scream bloody murder if they don't get their way and then freak out every time you try to get them to do something new. BF was like 'oh?' - I am just saying NO kid is perfect. Smile

then he went off on BM buying SS6 video games and putting the boys in their rooms so she can sit on her butt and watch TV. Well I left to take a bath and came out - did a lap of the house and then stopped in SS6's door way. I knew ss6 was in the living room playing the wii so I just look at BF (who was laying on ss6's bed watching tv) and said do you remember what you said about BM this am? About the video games? He nodded and hung his head in shame - "this is kind of like that isn't it?" i just nodded and walked off.

I was reading a post on here about the narcissistic parenting and playing favorites. I explained to him what the post said about Parenting favoring the child that acts most like them and he was like "I told get it, BM favors SS4 but he doesn't act like her" I was like "Oh really? so BM doesn't throw a massive fit every time she doesn't get her way and think that the world revolves around her (like SS4 does?" he was like 'oh'.

We had a lazy day at home but around 3 BM txt'ed. She said that she just left some place (she was very specific) like 3 hours away and wasn't sure they would be back in time for the drop off (at 5). BF txt her back and inform her that it was fine but we have plans at 6:15 with friends (not that she needed to know that but two can play her stupid game) and to ask if we needed to feed to boys. She said no problem, they were at a certain point. Needless to say BM txt'ed us that they were home just before 5. BF was like either she lied about where she was or when she left. I just smiled. I told him that she wanted him to know that she had spent a 'romantic' weekend with her new husband because she thinks that he still cares, and/or they were going to stop on the way for a nice dinner but you 'ruined' it by telling her about OUR plans. I was impressed that he realized BM was lying about something.

And lastly i told him how I was feeling about him teasing me about getting engaged and he seemed 'shocked' that ti was bothering me, not so much that we aren't engaged but the teasing and pretending to ask me is hurtful - I mean what little girl hasn't dreamed of getting a ring? I told him no more teasing, either do it or don't.

Comments

sonja's picture

Id agree, guys are guys.. My fdh often does thing equivalent to things he complains about BM doing. The whole giving too much info is common too. She doesnt need to know anything about us/where were going/what were doing, just how he says he doesnt give about her and her plans.

Doubletakex3's picture

Yes. Your post reminds me of a convo I had with my ex-DH. He kept rationalizing his kids behavior by saying things like, "Well at they're not like so & so's kids"..."At least they aren't..." And finally, I said, "how low are your going to lower that bar to make yourself feel like a successful parent? At least they aren't doing heroin on the dining room table in front of us!?" He walked away muttering "whatever."

logan27's picture

OMG - good for you! what did he say about not joking about proposing?!?! I'm dying to know....I'm acutally hoping he has something secretly planned - he had better get it done now!

SisterNeko's picture

I told him how I felt and how our parents felt about the joking and he seemed to understand that feelings were getting hurt and there was some disappointment. He promised to stop teasing, and since has done so.

Honestly i do think that he has a secret plan - or so I hope - but I don't want to dig into too much. I love surprises. Smile He has asked if I like this ring or that one in stores and catalogs, and what 'cut' of diamonds I like.

But trying hard not to get my hopes up. I do what him to be SURE before he asks so I am willing to wait - just as long as he doesn't tease me about it Smile