Amy, it's sounding like you've had all responsibility for your SS dumped in your lap. When has your husband ever bothered to parent HIS son? First the grandparents were doing the job and now you? That's just plain rude and wrong. No wonder you're being criticized and berated constantly. If you're constantly being blamed for poor parenting of SS, then those who are biologically related and responsible for parenting him can excuse themselves from owning up to that fact.

Most of us go into our relationships wanting to get it right. Thing is, I'm not seeing where you've done anything wrong. I don't have a lot of detail to go on, but if I knew you in person, I'd probably want to slap your husband for dumping HIS son in your lonely, isolated lap and then criticizing you for making a sincere effort to do the difficult parenting tasks (like discipline) that he doesn't care to be bothered to do. In my experience, if one's spouse is not supportive of the step parent's effort to provide structure and discipline for HIS kid, then the step parent is fighting a loosing battle. It frightens me for you that you're only 6 days into living together and already so stressed and burdened.

I can give you some advice, but it's probably not the type you were hoping to hear. Sit your clod of a husband down for a heart to heart talk. Tell him that he is being a "bad father" and "causing difficulties" saddling you with HIS son to sink or swim alone. Tell him that he needs to contact the school and provide HIS number at work so that the school can alert him when HIS son gets into trouble. If you want to volunteer yourself to be home for SS when husband is not, then make it your husband's responsibility to communicate to HIS son what he should be doing while he is there with you. It is also your husband's responsibility to tell HIS son that you are HIS wife and that you WILL BE respected.

I'm a bit on the blunt side. Maybe others can offer more diplomatic or gentle ways of saying the above, but please do address these things with your husband ASAP. Take care of, love and respect yourself. Anyone who would deny you your feelings and discomfort in this situation is not loving and respecting you.

Keep us posted. Write what you're thinking and feeling. Just remember that we don't know you and can't read your mind. The more detail you give, the easier it is for others to understand.

Huggs & blessings to you!

Ok, after reading your comment on someone else's blog, is it your husband that's insulting you and your parenting skills or your MIL? If the MIL, that might change my advice a bit, but it is your husband's responsibility to be supportive of you, and that means not letting his mother bulldoze you. How does he feel about your MIL's advice and demands of you?

Why does your DH think YOU are responsible for HIS child? If he wants custody or even visitation, HE needs to do things for HIS child, not you. Sorry, these BMs and BFs who think they can marry/live with someone and expect them to TAKE care of THEIR kids have lost their minds. There is NO WAY I would do all that you are doing. It is HIS job and the BMs job. If the BM is an idiot and can't do it, well, that's on YOUR DH, not on you. He shouldn't have slept with such a lousy person knowing he could end up with a kid from her...and if he did, only HE should have to deal with the crap.

Sorry, but I think that you are being taken advantage of. Do you not work? If I were you I would get a job or go back to school, get OUT of the house and let YOUR BF/DH take care of his own child. When your DH/BF is home, you can do things TOGETHER, but he should NOT expect you to raise HIS child.

You need to step back and not do so much. This is not your responsibility. It is your DH's. I was so frustrated when I moved in and it became very apparent that these kids had no rules, boundaries or even expectations. I felt like I was sinking. Well I finally got it and became a raging bitch. Then after that I stopped. I felt such a sense of calm when I stopped being the punching bag for everyone. I still am for BM and SD, but at least now, I don't care.

What worked for me was to stop getting involved in DH's lack of parenting. I just started walking away everytime the conversation was starting to attack me or he was not seeing what behavior SD did. It helped. I spent a lot of evenings in my room or at the gym, but it worked. Now SD is at BM and we have SS. Now I am starting to re-engage slowly.

Good luck, but you need to start caring about you, because it doesn't sound like anyone else in your house is.

My ss5 was dumped on me 3 years ago. At first I would go above and beyond, disciplining, teaching, consulting, cooking, cleaning etc after ss. Only to be told your not my mom by ss. BM does zero parenting, pays no CS and only sees him on weekends. It wasn't fair to me to be stressed out over something that I wasn't even obligated to do. I've disengaged completely! The only thing I do now is feed him and that's because he has to eat. After he eats he goes to bed. That's it, real simple. Everything else is up to Dh and bm. I have to focus on my own dd. She is MY responsibility. What kind of woman let's another woman raise her child anyway? Just ashame.