In my case yuckopotamus tries the PAS game but in had the opposite effect on the kids. They tell their mom all the time to shut up and that she is not the victim like she thinks. The oldest ss15 got so upset with her one day that he told her that he was tired of hearing her use the single mom card for EVERYTHING that she thinks is wrong with her life and that there are a ton of single parents that make it everyday with out CS! And he refused to go any where with her til she stopped that crap. And he told her that it wasn't dad's responsibly to support her and he paying his CS so it is her problem and to quit blaming it all on dad!

I know this b/c he told me as he was very upset with her that day witch was their weekend to see their dad. He also told her after she ranted about a list that she wanted us to with the boys mainly to control our house hold that she needs to shut up as dad doesn't do anything that she puts on her list and he doesn't care about it as he will do what he wants anyway and it is not her place to tell dad what to do.

So yep it does effect the kids one way or another.

I suspected my SD18 was the target of PAS by PB (BM). What I didn't realize was how severe it was. We have seen my SD ONCE in the past 2 years and DH talked to her on Halloween by calling with an unknown number.

She has a baby that is 1-1/2, so the alienation extends to the poor little one too.

The last time I saw her (besides a chance run in at the store) was when she gave birth. She cried when we walked in the room and told us, "I didn't think you'd come!"

Why the HELL would she think we wouldn't COME?? I'll give you 3 guesses and the first 2 don't count.

You are correct. There are numerous studies that show children particularly boys have their self-image very tied to their opinion of their fathers. They have shown that the more a mother bad mouths a father the more likely it is that that child will suffer from low self-esteem and/or be prone to violent outbursts.

Like PurpleDaisies my SS10 saw that BM was a lunatic who blamed everything on being a "single mom" - a single mom that doesn't work and doesn't worry about her kids and called her out on her crap. I know that he told her she is "nothing but a fat, lazy, whore who talks bad about dad & smiley but they don't talk bad about you." And that daddy gives you money and if you would get up off your fat butt and get a job I would have nice things." I know he said these things because she called to blame us for his suddend & complete understanding of the entire situation. It was the first time I've ever been proud of the little turd. But of course her damage was already done - the kids a mess - it will take us years to correct the damage, if we ever can. Not to mention she has destoryed his opinion of her & their relationship.

The weird part about OUR situation is that BM seems to have mainly used PAS on my SD but not my SS. OR...my SS is too smart to fall for the manipulation. I don't know.

^^LIKE^^
Read this closley. Take the quiz and if it's a fail, you MUST move on while you can, for all of us that didn't.

Hmm...sorry, posted in the wrong blog somehow

My 3 year old SD is constantly made to feel guilty about leaving to come see her dad, sister, and me. When she is over here she will be playing with DD (14months) and just start crying out of no where. When we ask her what is wrong she refuses to tell us and just says "I don't know". When she tells us that she doesn't know we ask her to go up to her room and calm down, and she can come back and play when she feels better. For a while we would hear her crying and talking to herself but we couldn't hear what she was saying. DH took the baby moniter and put it into SD's room in hopes that when she is up there crying and talking to herself she would say why she is so upset. Sure enough she started crying one day and we asked her what was wrong, she said "I don't know" as she usually does so DH asked her to go up to her room and calm down. While she was up there we heard through the monitor how sad her mommy is when she isn't there. She said that mommy told her that her and mr.mittens (her cat) are always sad until she gets back home. I don't understand how BM can feel good about making her daughter feel tortured about going to her dad's house. She should be telling her that she hopes she has a great time with daddy and that she will see her when she gets back, that way SD wouldn't feel like it is her fault that mommy is sad.