Not sure I can do this...
My SO is interviewing today for a job that is far enough away to warrent him staying there all week at a friend's house and coming home Fri evening and leaving Mon early. This means I will have to take care of skids. I have been very succesfully disengaging to the point where I hardly see them and b/c SO hasn't been full time employed for so long he's been home for the past 2 1/2 years for them whenever they're not in school. He's done all their cooking, cleaning, laundry etc. Now this is all going to fall on me and I am not sure I can or want to even deal with them at all. They stink, two dogs that stink and they always leave huge bathroom and kitchen messes, etc. They are not outright disrespectful but they don't listen to me unless SO tells them to obey me or else. Just a few minutes ago I caught ss18 peeing out the back sliding door. He said it was b/c I was in the laundry room and he had to go bad but he could have gone upstairs. There are 3 toilets in this house for petes sake. I told him to clean it up and he didn;'t so I ran the hose in through the garage and pointed it at him and said clean it up or I will clean it and him up. I also told him to just go back to his moms b/c he's such a lazy bum and I hate him laying around the house day after day doing NOTHING like he's the god damn celebrity and we all have to serve him. I heard him briefly spray down the gravel area and then put the hose back. I was so mad I felt like my heart was going to beat outta my chest.
I just cannot see myself taking on this burden of parenting these two and I cannot say no b/c this is a great job offer for SO. When I mentioned my uneasiness last night he said "do I have to pay for child care too?" Well if they act like spoiled two year old "YES", you do have to get child care for them. So there 
Ok thanks for letting me rant.
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Then don't... Period... In my
Then don't...
Period...
In my mind, if I was looking at a job, whether I could take care of my family would factor into whether I took the job...Those are your SO's kids...If he can't provide care for them, then he CAN'T take the job...
But it's obvious he's relying on you?
Have you said something? I would let him know that I wasn't willing...I COULDN'T and wouldn't do it...
Did he at least ask you if you would do it?
SS is 18, right? Why is he
SS is 18, right? Why is he still at home? If SO goes, so does he!
Is there a reason that the 2 of you could not just move to the new location? Maybe I think of it more casually than most people because I was a military kid and my late husband's job caused us to move frequently if he wanted to get promoted but it always puzzles me when people choose to be apart rather than just move.
Tell him no. What would he
Tell him no. What would he do if he were single?
That;s a good question - i
That;s a good question - i will ask him that.
Why does the kid live at
Why does the kid live at home? He isn't doing anything with himself, is he?
My answer would be a resounding NO.
Well SO gets home but before
Well SO gets home but before he does he calls me and says ss18 had text'd him about what happened. He asked me to just hang tight until he gets home and then we'll talk. So he got home and I told him that if it were just ss14 here like it was until last spring then I'd be happy for him getting a job and we'd be fine at home. but with ss18 here it's NOT going to happen. SO just took ss18 out and they are talking about this. SO rewards ss18 for his bad behavior by taking him out, it should have been me he took out for a BIG pitcher of beer.
He doesn't want to move closer to the job b/c living here the boys get to go to same schools/friends they grew up with. I'd love to move and get out of this county that our ex's are in.
Anyhow I'm calmer now but I will be setting some firm ground rules before he starts working and one will be ss18 gets a and makes enough to start paying his own bills around here. Grrrrrrr.
I understand that he wants
I understand that he wants the boys to be in the same school and with their friends but the reality is that the family goes where the bread winner goes. That is NOT old fashioned - it is economics. Children do not get a vote. When the parents must relocate for a job then they go with them - period. The sooner they understand how the world works the better. Since when does the marital unit dissolve so that the kids can hang with friends that they will not even communicate with in 5 years???? When the parents move the kids move. That is the way it works.
honestly it isnt hard for
honestly it isnt hard for kids to make new friends. Plus that whole there friends are here well, once they graduate how many will honestly stay friends. I am only 21 and I only talk to one of the friends I had in high school.
good news - ss18 is moving
good news - ss18 is moving out sunday! Can;t wait. We did everything we could for this kid but it just wasn't enough. Last straw was him stealing his dad's prescription meds from our room and selling them to his friends. He lied about it but his friends confessed. That was the last straw, there were many straw bales all year that have been piling up; and a few since. I guess there comes a time for every kid to have to go out into the world on their own and just learn from life's lessons.