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DH blew up this morning (mad at BM)

Madam Hedgehog's picture

My DH is usually very mellow when it comes to conflicts with BM. He either gets sad or acts like there's no point in having an emotional reaction.

I have no idea what happened this morning, but I woke up and he was shouting and cussing. I can say I have NEVER seen him like that before, especially in front of the skids.

I guess BM forgot to include a lunch for SS5 (for school) for the 20th time this year, and DH just lost it.

I am still shocked and confused about his reaction. I'm thinking this was the last straw for him. ???. We usually include a lunch for him because she always forgets/neglects to do so, but today he called the school and explained the situation and they said they'd feed him and bill her for it.

I guess he sent her an email about how upset he was, and asking her what it would take for her to sign the kids over since she is not interested in actually taking care of them.

What do you think?

NOTE: We take care of the kids from 630 AM until 430 PM every day except every other weekend, and somehow the judge still insists that she is the primary caretaker.

Comments

Madam Hedgehog's picture

"I don't think she's 'forgetting', I think she is getting by not doing it because she knows your DH will end up preparing it. Smart move on DH's part for calling the school to explain and them billing her for it!"

Yep. She does this all the time. She neglects the kids' needs on a regular basis because she knows DH will fix the problem. We found out last month that she NEVER cleans the kids' ears or cuts their nails because they don't like it. So, DH ends up doing in it the morning before SS5 goes to school.

She literally does nothing for these kids, and the courts are forcing DH to pay her for it.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

That is our new policy on it. Unfortunately, the school only charges like $1.50 for lunch, but at least we will get documentation that she is a f*ck up.

Goincrazy40's picture

The BM over here has that plan down pat. She conveniently "forgets" lunches , or drops them off un-fed so we have to do it. Makes me insane. All so we have to pay for the kids twice on the days SHE is supposed to have them. She is a master manipulator. But she will never give up custody because she needs the CS to support herself. (not the kids).

Madam Hedgehog's picture

THAT IS EXACTLY IT. She doesn't feed them in the mornings, picks them up late so that she doesn't have to feed them dinner, and forgets to pack lunch for school. We tried to get compensation for it, and her lawyer said it would count as added income and would drive CS up. It's total BS.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

I think DH may have just gotten to point of putting his foot down on this issue. He really did explode this morning. I just don't understand why the court system doesn't give a damn if these women are not taking care of their kids. The courts are actually giving these crazy people the ability to FORCE other people to take care of their kids.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

I'm pretty confused about it too. I can't imagine feeling ambitious to be rude to someone for this amount of time. It's been over FOUR YEARS and she is still hell bent on wreaking havoc for DH.

We can actually chart what's happening with her love life by how she acts. If she leaves us alone, she's with someone who's apparently too dumb to know what a psycho she is. If she's making DH's life miserable, then she's single again and has nothing better to do than obsess over DH and bother us.

And yes, our BM twists everything as well. She is constantly trying to translate every situation in her own favor--basically in favor of her own laziness--and then she's outraged when the word fails to bend over backwards for her.

Rags's picture

Not quite sure how the math for the forgotten lunches works if you have the kids all but EOWE. That would mean only 2 days each month that BM could have forgotten lunch.

Regardless, it is awesome that your DH nailed BM for her neglect and that he got the school officials involved in holding BM accountable for feeding her children.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

We have them from 630 to 430 (5pm in BM time) so she gets credit for having them that entire time period because they sleep at her house on those days. The judge pretty much set this BS up. We have rooms and beds for both for both of them, but the judge doesn't want to change the paperwork so he keeps engineering ways for BM to still qualify as the "primary caretaker."

Rags's picture

Not quite sure how the math for the forgotten lunches works if you have the kids all but EOWE. That would mean only 2 days each month that BM could have forgotten lunch.

Regardlessof the math, it is awesome that your DH nailed BM for her neglect and that he got the school officials involved in holding BM accountable for feeding or not feeding her children.

Rags's picture

Not quite sure how the math for the forgotten lunches works if you have the kids all but EOWE. That would mean only 2 days each month that BM could have forgotten lunch.

Regardlessof the math, it is awesome that your DH nailed BM for her neglect and that he got the school officials involved in holding BM accountable for feeding or not feeding her children.