My SD drives me nuts!!!!
Ok so I am very new to this. I am a 25 y/o with 2 SK. I have a 6 y/o SD and a 4 y/o SS. I really don't have any problems with my SS, but my SD is a whole other story. My boyfriend is like totally blinded by his daughter's "innocent" act when it comes to her behavior. She has a really smart mouth and she plays us against each other. Which I really can't stand. We don't get into any arguments, but I must say I am really getting tired of trying to open his eyes to his daughter's behavior. Anytime I tell her she can't have something she ask her dad for it after I told her no. Then when I explain to him what she's doing he makes it out to be like I have something against her. Like I hate her or something, and I don't. I really would love to have a relationship with her. I just feel like I'm in it alone when it comes to her. Seems like I'm the only one that does the disciplining when it comes to her. I don't like spanking them, so I don't. I pretty much take things away. Thing is when it comes to my SS it is a totally different story. He will discipline him right on the spot for doing whatever wrong. Even if he is taking too long eating. I hate when he treats his daughter like she can't do no wrong, but his son must be disciplined for everything, it's wrong.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm starting to feel like there's no point to say anything anymore. I'm just afraid that this is going to come between our relationship. I mean I'm even to the point just hearing her voice irritates me, and I just don't even want to be around her. Is this wrong??
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I know what you mean.
I know what you mean. Yesterday, I told SD that she couldn't wear her new sneakers I got her and that she had to wear her play sneakers. BF didn't have to work, I did. BF got the son out of daycare to spend the day with him. We went to the hotel to get away from the house. Everything was fine until he went to go get SD. SS was fine, me and him watched Superman movie and fell asleep. BF comes in with SD. I notice that SD has on her new sneakers. I asked her did she remember what we talked about that morning, and she said yes. So I asked her what did we talk about this morning, and she said that I said that she couldn't wear her new shoes. I asked her well why did she have them on? And she looks right at BF...smh...He hops in saying, "that was my fault cause I wasn't specific when I told her to go put on her sneakers. Beings though I've been talking to my married friends w/ kids about this. I was told to not have a debatable discussion in front of her cause it's going to show her that she's going to be able to run to BF whenever she wants something. So me and my BF went out on the balcony to talk. I told him that he needed to not do that, to jump in when I'm getting on her about something because she going to know to run to him for everything when she's getting in trouble by me. All he could say well I don't know why she can't wear her shoes. As I was trying to explain to him that I was showing him how she acts, he continued to keep asking why she couldn't wear her sneakers and that he didn't understand why she couldn't wear them. It's sad cause I get to the point where I'm like forget it, I don't care. They went down to the pool, and I stayed in the room. BF asked me was I going to come down with they, when I looked over I see that he didn't pick up my bathing suit from the house when he went to get SD, but SD has 2 different bathing suits to choose from...smh...That just made me even more angry. I said no, put my earphones in and laid down. For the rest of the day/night he seemed to have had an attitude with me. While in the care he told me my earphones were too loud and that you could hear the cursing coming from them, but not minutes before he told SD that he would kick somebody's ass. I haven't said 2 words to him since the hotel, and vise versa. I went to bed early and he got up early. Seems like we're pretty much avoiding each other.
It is really hard assuming
It is really hard assuming your position when the SD has already occupied so much space. I think it is important that you have a serious talk with "daddy" and insist that he makes clear that you are a rightful member of the family now and that you deseve equal respect. If the two of you stick together in this, your SD will have to accept this eventually.