What is wrong with you? You are still there.
How unattractive is a man who does not raise men but raises slobs? Consider Mitt Romney's sons and the3n your BFs sons. No ocmparison is there? The only difference is Romney's kids father DOESN'T ALLOW IT!

Move out. The financial hit is worth the peace of mind in anyone's language. Just pack up and leaqve and don't look back because this man will never change.

I have been in this situation twice with two of my step sons. The first time my husband was very much not wanting to do anything about the SS agreement to get an apt. and move in a couple of months SO I got tired of being the maid, and cook, and message service,,and just overall doormat. I decided to began an all out campaign where I made sure the SS was presented with a new agreement that had him paying rent {which men getting a job} OR face eviction, maid service was provided at a cost of 5 bucks a dish, 1 buck per piece of silverware, laundry service was 20 bucks a load....the computer and power cords to TV and game systems were locked up when not in use by myself or my husband so no access, and no guest were allowed and NO keys to the house! One week and one 180 Dollar invioce tacked to his door and he was moving out.
The second time with the middle SS was last year and it was better due to having my husband more on board and more supportive of my rules and when it came time our house rules were violated I was allowed to set up a sit down meeting to let the SS and his girlfriend know they were being ask to find other accomodations and why. I do feel for you as it is soooo stressful being caught between SS and our men BUT just remember you deserve to have a peaceful home and you are not a maid, or a doormat you must stand your ground and sometimes this is what it takes to get your BF or Husbands support if not do not allow yourself to be unhappy as life is too short.

If you guys don't make it uncomfortable for him, he will never move out. My daughter got out of the army and decided to "find herself". It is a year later and she's still living in one of my rentals living on unemployment. I do make her pay rent bur it's really not enough to make her squirm.

So I've finally gotten to the point where I'm making it uncomfortable for her because I'm worried that if something happens to me she'll be screwed. I gave her 60 days to get a job and if she doesn't, in making her either move in with me... (she loves her freedom and living on her own) or moving somewhere else. I owe it to her to make her be independent

Your husband owes his son the same thing. He isn't doing him any favors. He is just ad guilty ad I am for enabling them.

Just ask him to think about what would happen to his son if something happened to him. If that doesn't get him on board, in afraid nothing will.

If he's working full time and/or going to school AND being respectful and clean I'd think about letting him stay six months or so. No job, no school, no responsibilities he'd be out if he was my skid. Actually kicked my skid out for thinking he was going to keep the whole house up all night and leave messes and play video games all day while we paid his bills. Called his bluff.

So her won't listen to you. Take a two by four, spend some hours pouring your feelings into whittling it. Present it to hiim with two options. Would you like this to be a work of art mounted on a wall or in your head? Oh, wait, we can't actually say things like that. Please understand that's writing, not reality!! But hopefully brings a smile while you think about all this. Perspective. Think long and hard about what you want for your life. When it's all said and done, guess we hold the bottom line for our own lives.

Write your DH a letter/email...put what you expect in it...I recently did this with my DH about my SS...when it's in black and white, he can't argue, tune you out, or interrupt you. The advantage for you is that when you read it over, you can reword or change how you say things so that you don't sound like the evil stepmother, when you are talking, it's easy for things to slip out and you can't take them back. I Tred carefully when it comes to talking about SS...I have so much animousity, it's difficult to even say his name without gritting my teeth!! Good luck!!! I also agree with Pam tiger's post...start charging him...he'll leave!!

My 2 oldest went to college at 17 and 18 respectively, like normal kids. When high school dropout CTBB came to live w/ us between the ages of 19-21 he was required to pay rent and have a job. We did give him rides and let him use the car when we weren't. He had to leave when we caught him selling pot, but he was able to move in w/ a co-worker near his job, so he could walk to work. I've worked since I was 12, I can take a lot, but I absolutely will not suffer a freeloader, step or bio. I work too hard!