Do not know what to make of this...Or have a clue what to do....HELP!!!
SD16 called me from school with anxiety, she is in nurses office, and crying because she does not want to go to BM today. I asked if she called her father and she says no. Told SD I think you need to call your dad. She tells me she doesn't want to call him because he will make her tell Bm and she does not want to do this and if i can please please call BM to tell her she will not be going today and maybe not all week. AHHHH WHAT????? I can not do this. I do not know where this is comming from. this is a kid who never used to talk to me very much and since our little episode and discussion has become my best friend... Yesterday when i came home from work she was attached to my ASS....I dont understand this at all....
So told her to relax she will be fine and i will see what I can do but she needs to stay in school (she wanted me to pick her up) I helped her on the phone with her breathing and calmed her down and then talked to nurse which i do not even know if i can do but nurse states i am on the emergency card so i can. (did not know that either) I have kind of disenagaged from this child for so long i have no idea on these issues. So i call DH tell him what happened and what SD wants me to do and dumb ass tells me OK just call Bm explain to her and we will keep her all week... :jawdrop: ARE YOU SMOKING CRACK???????I am not dealing with this AT ALL....he asks why, she wants you to...GOOD FOR HER...This is your child who has these issues, I dont even talk to BM and DONT WANT TO....I was so pissed at the end of our conversation i hung up ..I told DH before I hung up I was very busy and will not be making this call nor will I deal with this issue...I mean WTF this is not my child, I feel bad and all but I know me being a BM myself if my X's wife called to tell me my children would not be home I WOULD BE BS..
Where the hell is this comming from????? One minute I am this bitch who is stealing her father now I am the person she wants help from to deal with her BM...HELL NO anything but that!!!! How do i deal with this without making SD feel i dont give a shit?
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I am sooo sick of this drama
I am sooo sick of this drama already!!!! i want to blog about flowers and happiness
and to boot my kids are fine.... But SD always something EVERYDAY!!!!!! I mean really??????
Wow. You may not want to hear
Wow. You may not want to hear this but I'd take it as a compliment. It sounds like she is having issues (master of the obvious here) and she's choosing the path of least insanity (you). However, I agree that you need to deflect this to the bios to deal with.
She has anxiety attacks all
She has anxiety attacks all the time (so she says) I have never seen any (we have her ALOT)....She is always sick and wants to go the Dr. But nothing is ever wrong...Its a circle i am not getting involved in...Child has major issues and I really do not want to deal with them she is not my child...That might sound horrible but i am sorry this girl is rude, disrespectful to her elders, and just no manners what so ever. We had a break through recentlty and that was great but come on you have a mom and dad they are the ones who need to deal...But BM never deals with anything she told her sister she drinks and pops pills because of SD...How nice
Its sad really....This girl
Its sad really....This girl has no woman role models in her life and for years i have tried and just got a slap. But now that we had our discussion and issue she wants me to be this role model. i have been trying for 5 years not sure i want that role now...Its a hard one. i am afraid to get another slap!
She is a drama queen, and is
She is a drama queen, and is expertly trying to drag you into the middle of it. She has two parents, she needs to talk to them if she does not want to go to BM's. It's not your place to call BM for her. She's 16 years old and needs to discuss this with her mother on her own. If she's not willing to do that, then she has to go to BM's as scheduled.
*points finger rapidly*
*points finger rapidly* ^^^this^^^
I agree with ripley and mazzy here. This poor girl is reaching out to the only sane woman in her life..............YOU!! Don't let your guard down, but.......
You all are going to think I
You all are going to think I am crazy, but I would have picked her up. Only bc I have had an attack before and they are soooo scary you feel like you are going to die. I think it is great you were able to calm her down over the phone. She must be in some big time trouble and feels her BM will let her have it without really listening to her. She must feel you are easier to talk to than BM. Don't be afraid of getting another slap, if we all lived like that as stepmoms we would just totally shut down. You care for her and want to help her so do it for her not the BIOS. That being said I still think her dad needs to make the call to the BM.
Has she done this sort of
Has she done this sort of thing before where she "reached out" to you because she wanted a different answer from you than she thought she would get from her dad? Then after you help her she shits all over you? Basically manipulating you and using you to get what she wants? Yeah, I've been there. I think you were right on .. you can listen to her and do what you did but this is her dad's call.
We are not their saviors and it's time that they all learn to deal with their own crap.
I have been with my Dh for 5
I have been with my Dh for 5 years, she has never opened up to me at all....It was wierd....She called me again this afternoon wondering what time i was comming home....It just does not make sense..
I don't want to be really
I don't want to be really neagative but I've been there and going through it a bit now.
Once I let her in and was her confidant and friend I got shit all over and then I was afraid to do anything with her or say much. I realized earlier this week that I’m much more upset with myself that I failed to say what I wanted to say to SD16 and that I felt like I couldn’t because I didn’t want to cause conflict. Once I had that epiphany I felt free.
At some point they ALL need to take responsibility for their own misery. It's not my job to fix it.
You can be a sounding board for her if you want to, but in my opinion, be ready for the backlash.