stop living my life.

I am also 21, FDH is almost 30 he has two girls, one 3 the other 5. It is a nightmare. There are fights, and arguments. my almost father inlaw just got custody of the girls because my FDH was in a car wreck (my blogs tell the story BM tried to kill him) My best piece of advice to you is to take a step back, step back from the parenting role. Soon you will feel taken advantage of and over worked. I also recommend reading “stepmonster” it will help you gain some insite in what is to come. Also Take a look inside yourself and really find out if this is the life that you want. It is going to get messy, there is nothing pretty about divorce. There is nothing fun about the BM being in the picture. There is also nothing fun about the court battles. However if you love him and he is worth it, hang on.

You might get a lot of advise saying run, get out while you can, ect. But if you do love him and what to create a life I can offer some tips I have discoved that do help make life easier.

Find an outlet. This site is amazing to vent on and some of the most amazing people are on here. They can also give a lot of advice.

Make couples time. It is a must at least once a month kid and BM completely free.

Make you time. If that means going out with friends, or a bottle of wine and a bubble bath do it often.

By wine. It helps you relax when the walls cave in.

One of the main things to try and remember is you are not her mother. And down the road you may be told that when parenting decissions come into play. It doesn’t matter if you raise her for the next 6 years if BM says I want to be a mom now the courts will almost always side with her. You have NO rights in the courts eyes, your thoughts are not important to the courts. Also make sure there are healthly boundries between BM and your Boyfirend, it may be nothing now with the texts or calls but after a few months it will take a toll on you if there are no boundries set.

If you ever need someone to talk to Private message me. I have been doing this for a little while now.

Hi there! I see you are new. I was in a similar situation where tmy exSO/sons father. He was a single dad BM was doing her own thing and saw the kids maybe a couple.times a year if that. Shes nit bipolar- shes just a woman who doesn't have her priorities straight and would rather party than take care.of her children. Read my blot. U will know thatbi did 99% of the work withbhis kids until I was pregnant and I started to disengage to maintain my.sanity.
It honestly depends on your relationship with your fiancee. You need trust and communication . I feel like the step-mom situation is harder when BM is not. Around or a dear beat. A lot.of responsibilty falls on you even.though it shouldn't. I felt guilty whenni disengaged but I.feel like I was doing the work of 2 parents who could take care.of.their own responsibility. It is super hard being a step-mom when most.of.the motherly duties fall on you. We recently broke up and I am happy I no longer have the stress of 2 kids that aren't my responsibility. The amount of money and time I've spent over the past years is ridiculous. It is a difficult situation. It honestly depends on how.much you love your finacee and.are.willing to put up with. Put it this way. I'm 27 my exSO is 33. stepsons are 9 and 14. I spent my young years 23-27 being a mom,cooking, cleaning,driving,homework ,sleepovers. I thought I was helping my exSO but I was just.making his.life easier.and.my.life.more.stressful. I'm glad I get to be single and enjoy my youth or whats left of it. All the women on this site are.very.helpful.and REAL nothing is sugar coated. I wish u luck and glad u that found this site.