Skids versus ExH's Dog

Due to circumstances that are not interesting to go into, I have my exH's dog living with us for a year while he is away overseas. I did not volunteer for this but this is my biokids' pet and well, it is what it is.

Again due to circumstances that are too lengthy to explain, my skids do not visit our home. My DH has his time with them elsewhere...usually FIL's or his family's vacation home.

The dog is cute...seriously about 20 times bigger than an ideal dog, he is like a collie crossed with a wildebeest, but cute.

Skids are not cute. There is more to it, but you get the idea.

I knew this issue of the dog versus skids has been simmering, and in a recent argument it came out.

DH: It is so unfair that your ex's DOG is welcome here but my kids aren't.

ME: The dog isn't exactly welcome.

DH: But he is staying here and my kids are not!

ME: The dog is staying in the barn.

DH: How do you think that makes me FEEEEEEEEL?

ME: I don't know, glad his hairy ass is not all over the house?

DH: About my kids!!!

ME: Why are you comparing your kids to a dog? That is crazy.

DH: I suppose you think your exH's DOG is more loveable than my children?

ME: ...(((crickets)))...I think it is well known that dogs have a universal appeal. You don't hear the expression "Stepkids are a man's best friend", do you?

It went on from there...did not end well. I couldn't help doing a mental list of the advantages of the ex's dog over skids:

Ex's Dog:

1. mother was a purebred
2. pees in predictable places
3. result of a planned breeding, not a drunken tussle to avoid divorce
4. eats his food in 20 seconds without crying that mommy makes it better
5. does not jump on furniture
6. cleans his own ass
7. looks at me with sad eyes only when he wants a walk, not because I stole his daddddyyyyyyy
8. fully vaccinnated
9. naturally glossy hair and straight teeth
10. whines only for legitimate reasons

There are probably more...the only advantage of the skids is that they are not microchipped so if I ever drop them off on a lonely road no one can trace them back to me.

One highlight of this discussion was that I was able to remind DH that he is always telling me not to hold their douchebag mother against the skids...I said it is not doggy's fault that his owner is my pain in the ass exH, he is just a poor defenceless animal and (wait for it) we are the adults! }:)

Ha. Suck it, DH. The dog wins.

wolfenstep's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

Maybe you could offer to put

Maybe you could offer to put a couple of beds in the barn?

Bahahah...

}:) Bahahah...

"You don't hear the

"You don't hear the expression 'Stepkids are a man's best friend' do you?"

LOL LOVE IT!

Ha Ha I love it!! I always

Ha Ha I love it!! I always tell my DH that I am going to run away with the dogs because our puggies are so much better than SD!! He laughs but if he only knew. I always say the dogs don't give me dirty looks or complain about their dinner. They don't run away crying and texting people about me, they are very sweet and lovable. They don't "want" everything, don't need rides everywhere, they go to bed when I tell them to (in my bed of course). Total opposite of SD15!

When me and my sisters were younger my mother used to get mad at us and say "I should have just had all dogs" and I completely understand now what she meant by that!

Would LOVE to have been a fly

Would LOVE to have been a fly on the room during that discussion! Score one for stepparents everywhere. >=)

I love this post!

>>>the only advantage of the

>>>the only advantage of the skids is that they are not microchipped<<<

Hmmmm, now you have me thinking...

And I agree with the beds in the barn idea. Then it's even steven.

OMG...I gotta say...your DH

OMG...I gotta say...your DH is better than me!! There would be no way in hell that I would let BM/SS dog live with me for a day much less a year.

I do love this though...
"You don't hear the expression 'Stepkids are a man's best friend' do you?" LMBO!!

Love it!!!

LMAO!!!!

LOL! That is awesome. I like

LOL! That is awesome.

I like the result of planned breeding part, LOL

LOVE IT!!! i'm rolling

LOVE IT!!!

i'm rolling over:

"the only advantage of the skids is that they are not microchipped so if I ever drop them off on a lonely road no one can trace them back to me. "

i'm jealous, skids visit elsewhere... damn, i need to revamp dh's visitation schedule.... they are supposed to be seeing him, why fuck up my good time in the process?