I am putting up the text messages that were exchanged over xmas between me and the BM. The main reason i'm putting them up is because she infuriated me with the way she spoke to me, and there is nobody "offical" that I can show them to, to be able to say "look what I have to put up with!". Also I would appreciate unbiased opinions on my conduct toward her.

The back story is that she had told my partner that she had blocked him by email and would only have contact re children via text. Then keeps calling my OH complaining and shouting random abuse down the phone at him, but if he tried to call her about anything, rather than text, she would say he was harrassing her!! Then my OH's phone got stolen and she still refused to have email contact, she (quite resonabley)asked him for an emergency contact number while his work were getting a new phone for him which they took their time in replacing. He gave her my number and got a cheap temp mobile for himself to use for work / me.

She was not given the temp number and my OH asked me to text her a few times around the holidays to see if he could get the kids a bit earlier (as she said he could over the hols & the children were getting upset because she had cut his time with them several times and messed them around too often and regularly threatening my skids with not seeing daddy again if they are naughty)

anyway all the contact ive ever had with the woman is as follows, make up your own minds about what you think :

Weds 14/12/11
Me : Hi (he) asked me to text you to say that he would pick the kids up at 10am this saturday as they were asking to spend more time with him yesterday.

Reply : (He) needs to contact me

Me : He has no phone. I believe he explained this to you. He asked me to text you, which I have done.

Me : Ok, just messaged him on facebook to ask him to email you. He says you blocked him so he cant. Is there a way to unblock him so he can contact you directly? I dont wish to be stuck in the middle sending messages. Or you could just let me know if 10am on sat is convenient and it will be sorted.

Reply : I will reply this once, no they r doing something

Me : Thank you.

21/12/11 (the following weds)
Me : Hi. I hope you are well? (He) has asked me to conntact you again regarding saturday. He would like to have the children from 10am as he would like to spend more time with them on christmas weekend.

Reply : One thirty

27/12/11
Me : Hi I hope you and the children have had a lovely christmas. Please thank the children for my daughters gift. It was very kind. (He) asked me to ask you if he can pick the kids up around 3 today? Regards (Me)

Reply : Whoppee do, two extra hrs over the two week holiday! How odd I get last minute requests all the time when there is a greater possibility that something has been booked in already, how odd even after 18 months.

Me : With all due respect, the previous two requests were both given several days in advance and both times you refused with no adequate explaination and one of those was before the holidays. Also you seem unwilling to make verbal arrangements or infact communicate at all. I would appreciate, as I now seem to be the only point of contact, if you would refrain from sending sarcastic messages.

Reply : I dont know who you think u are talking to but i dont have to explain sweet fanny adams to u or the jock, especially someone who puts chickens in the kids room and they shit everywhere oh my god how disgusting. I have asked you not to contact me and u have ignored my request, maybe mediation is pointless, if you contact me again I will call the police, its not an empty threat ask (him).

*NB The jock is refering to him being scottish, The chickens we had incubated some eggs and I took pics of her kids holding the day old chicks in my daughters room and gave the skids copies of said pics, she got angry because it made the kids happy (which ofcourse they arent allowed to be when with dad) and re police, during their marriage she attacked him, and he had to restrain her which caused bruising on her arms. She called the police and has accused him of domestic violence and also child abuse of their daughter (as in beating her, not sexual). I have seen the police report and it says that she attacked him, which she admitted to the police officer. It also states that both children were asleep in their beds at the time.

Me : The pets I choose to keep are not your concern. I dont know why you feel the need to be abusive to me. I have been nothing but accomodating to you even when you have been nothing but rude. Also at no point have you asked me not to contact you and it is only ever on (his) behalf with regards to the children when I have needed to. Please do contact the police they would be very interested to see how rude, judgemental and difficult you are being. Now will you please answer the original question, which was can (he) pick the kids up at 3pm, in a polite, civil, non threatening manor. Thank you.

Reply : I have asked u twice not to contact me and as (he) has refused to provide a contact number then access will now stop

Me : If you re-read our correspondance you will find you had never asked me not to contact you. 2nd to that, you are sending me abusive text messages. He gave you this number as a contact for him. I fail to see how you can claim he has not given you a contact number. I would think that not allowing your children contact with their father based on the fact that you refuse to communicate appropriately would be very disruptive and emotionally damaging to the children you are meant to be caring for. Are you sure you want to do that to them?

* He went to collect the kids at his normal time of 5pm and she refused to let him see them. He also recorded her saying "didnt she tell you? No more access". He pleaded ignorance saying that he hadnt had the message.

28/12/11 11.25am
BM : If (he) wants to resume access to (the kids) he needs to get a phone and call me directly a.s.a.p

2.22pm
BM : Can you tell (him) he can of course see (the kids) as usual, it was a big mistake, hopefully mediation in a couple of weeks will help us to communicate in the best way for the children.

She also emailed him to say that I had driven her to ban him from the kids because I was texting her behind his back and that my behaviour was unacceptable and made her "very cross". He knew 100% what I was sending as for the most part he was with me at the time and I told him before replying to anything, what I had written. She obviously believed him when he had said he didnt know.

Anyway a few days after this, social services called her up because we had reported her to the NSPCC for child abuse after I had already been keeping a diary over the course of 2011 because the kids kept complaining of being beaten and the 4 (now 5) yr old was being especially picked on by his mother (he looks just like his dad funily enough) And the older daughter 7 (nearly 8 ) was loosing weight from stress!! My OH even took her to the drs to have her weighed etc they ofcourse did nothing to help. And told the school about our concerns in the hope that the children would confide in a teacher so that it took away the "us against her" scenario. Unfortunately, BM helps out at the school and we believe that she has told the school that dad is violent as they treat him with caution whenever he goes in there. They have been less than helpful and the kids dont dare say anything against their mother to people who know her incase they get into trouble.

However, she agreed (at mediation) after the kids went mental and lashed out at her for preventing them from seeing their dad and cutting their time in half with him, that they now get a whole day with him every other weekend. So far (now she knows that social services are on to her) she has calmed down. But this is the sort of thing we have had to put up with and I have been diagnosed with stress, I have developed a nervous twitch in my eyelid, and lost a stone in weight (not such a bad thing, not complaining about that!! ...still not healthy though)

Anyway rant over. If you got this far, Thanks for reading