My predictions about SD are coming true...
As you know from my last blog, SD15 is in LA with some girlfriends and no apparent supervision. BM didn't let DH know and she is supposed to according to the court.
The pictures on Facebook are very telling...I was accused of calling her a slut and BM made sure to tell everyone who would listen that I said it when she was 13. Came up in mediation and all the documents from the lawyer and countless emails to SIL and DH.
I didn't say it. I said if she wore a particular top to school that she borrowed from one of her friends that people would think she was a slut. Meant it..Not appropriate for school in the 8th grade. DH was in the room and agreed.
Fast forward to yesterday and the pics on Facebook of her in a t-shirt that is barely covering anything and cutoff shorts that her ass is hanging out and the long bleached out hair, I think we have definitely crossed over to Slut Status...
I truly wish I had been wrong when I told DH when she was in the 6th grade, that they needed to reign her in. But, they loved her strong personality...How is that working for all of you now? Also, she is suppposed to be clinically depressed and needed monitoring on a three day hold three weeks ago. None of this makes sense from my perspective. I truly hope it makes sense to BM.
This girl is going to be pregnant and it will be my husbands fault for abandoning her and mine for calling her a slut and not making her feel welcome in her home....I truly hate that woman...
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There's not much you can do
There's not much you can do about it when one parent allows the behavior. Sit back and watch the train wreck, that's what I had to do with SD18.
Ah, it sounds JUST LIKE OUR
Ah, it sounds JUST LIKE OUR STORY lol Not funny, huh? Yep. I saw the signs, I told my DH, DH confronted idiot crazy ex...she alienated the kid form her dad...and well, yep, at 15 she got pregnant, is now pregnant with baby #2 and a high school dropout...
HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT crazy witch?! sigh...
I saw the signs since she was about 8...going down the wrong path, etc...nobody listened. Not my problem anymore.
I would have your husband
I would have your husband make it very clear to his daughter that if she "f's up" then it is not going to be a burden on him or you. Have him offer birth control, and maybe a tutor to help her with her grades. If she declines time to disengage. Send CS and nothing else. She is 15 she is old enough to start driving and she is old enough to face consequences.
He has disengaged for the
He has disengaged for the most part. She has blown him off for lunch two times in the last year. It has been over a year since he has seen her. He reaches out occasionally via Facebook and texts. She answers and then blows him off.
As for money - no CS...BM was not entitled to a dime, since she made so much money. She throws it at the problem. We will give nothing to this child. My pre-nup states that I will not contribute any funds to any grandchildren. I saw this coming down the pipeline three years ago when he wanted a pre-nup...
My fear is that she continues to screw up and BM washes her hands of her and we end up with her. My house is rented out but will not be sold until these kids are off to college and can't come back to live...That is my Exit Strategy. How sad that three years into this marriage and I need to have an Exit Strategy because of a teenager...
I've not sold my house,
I've not sold my house, either. Also, put the new house in my name alone. We aren't married, and won't get married until youngest is 18 and out. Then I'll sell the little house and change the deed on this one. I, too, feel like I need an exit plan. Sad, huh?
I have some 'deal breakers'
I have some 'deal breakers' aka 'exit strategies' as well. We live in MY house, his house is rented. She WILL NOT move in with us and we WILL NOT contribute to any grandchildren when they make their appearance in the not to distant future. I've made some crystal ball predictions and the teen pregnancy was one I made when I met her at age 10 and figured out SD was socially stunted and an attention whore. Just sitting back to watch the train wreck DH and BM have created.