Yeah. I'm madder than a hornet right now. On the one hand, I didn't want them there at all. But on the other hand, I feel that they should have been made to contribute. But they weren't. My son spent two days ripping down a wall in the basement and helping me with other stuff. The SKIDS got new shoes and pizza and "fun time" with dad. What a fucking message to send my kid.

When my son said something about it to me, I replied with, "Yeah well - that's what makes the SKIDS visitors in OUR home. YOU and I know who put the work into this house and who has EARNED the right to be here. When all is said and done, the space that the SKIDS have won't even be theirs because they did nothing to make it theirs. YOU are making this house YOURS with your blood and sweat. Feel proud for that. And feel sorry for the SKIDS, because when all is said and done, they are just going to turn out to be those useless people walking around in the world feeling like everything should just be handed to them. YOU are in a very special and very elite club - a club of people who work for what they have and can lay their heads down at night and feel a HUGE sense of accomplishment for it. The SKIDS will never know that feeling and it's a sad, sad thing."

Ugg. I hate the SKIDS and I hate the man my DH becomes when they are around.

I don't even know how to fake being excited when they are coming over. Life as we know it - on a day to day basis - completely ceases to exist the moment they step through the door. My husband completely disappears, chores stop being important, all other matters don't even register on the radar as important - all because DH wants to take them to Chucky Cheese or some sh*t.

Gee, glad the SKIDS get to have such a great time. Meanwhile, while DH is busy playing guilty dad - I'm carrying the whole f*cking burden of keeping life moving.

I can't even wrap my brain around the full ramifications of the lesson DH is teaching his kids. That life is ALL about them.

Yeah, the world sure needs MORE people like THAT around, don't we??? :sick:

I couldn't agree more. When I get past my anger and resentment, THIS is exactly what is burning my butt.

And I am so sorry about the language. It's something that I always seem to be working on. I was just so hurt and angry today that my son and I were at the house, ALL DAY, working on making it move-in ready, sweating, bleeding, etc. But where was DH and the SKIDS? Off getting new shoes. Are you kidding me??

Seriously, all they were asked to do was to pick up the sticks in the front and back yard so that someone else could mow the lawn. It's not like we live on a farm. It would have taken 15 minutes, that's all. But noooooo..... SS10 "wanted to play basketball" and SD10 "wanted to take nap."

A NAP???????

I have barely had a moments rest since we closed on the house on Wednesday night. I am so sore from all of the work that I have done in that house, that I can barely move. My BS16 was down in the basement tearing out a wall for 2 days. They were asked to pick up sticks. STICKS!

And it turned out to be a problem??????

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!

STICKS!!!!

My DH says that if he makes them work every time they come over, they won't want to come see him.

OMG, I don't even know what to say to that other than I feel that it is more important to teach kids that WORK is a necessary component of life and that FUN can come after. They were asked to pick up STICKS that would have taken them 15 minutes. And they got to skate on that???

Dude, the SKIDS are going to turn out to be one of "those" people walking around - sucking $$$ from hardworking, tax-paying citizens. F'ing useless. Absolutely f'ing useless.

STICKS!!! They were just asked to pick up sticks. I can't get over it.

Meanwhile, I can't even look at the SKIDS. SD10 wanted to show me her new shoes. I have ZERO interest. I'm tired. I have worked ALL DAY, every day for the past FIVE days. I could give two shits less about some shoes right now. Show me a lawn bag full of some sticks and I'm sure I could muster up some enthusiasm though.

HAHAHAHAHAA!!! THANK YOU!!!

Can you just hear me saying, "STICKS!!!" with my hands flailing around???

'cause I've gotta tell you, I just cannot wrap my brain around why picking up some STICKS was such a problem. Oy.

Thank you for laughing with/at me. Man, I love this site. It makes all of this "normal."

HAHAHAHAAA!!!!!

Oh man, you are my new favoritest person in the whole world right now!!!

((((HUG))))

Maybe I'll go pick up all of those sticks myself and then pile them in their bedrooms. They'll have a choice: pick up the sticks, or sleep on 'em. Either way, at least I'll be able to cut the lawn.

AND IT MADE ME LAUGH HYSTERICALLY!!!

I SO needed that!!! Bless your heart. You are the bomb right now.

DUDE! Yeah, I know exactly what you mean!!!

OMG. Get this. I get back to the in-laws from working on the house. I am in a crabbbbby mood (clearly, right?). So my MIL asks me what's wrong. I explained that I'm upset that my DH didn't make the kids pick up the sticks, the only thing they were asked to do, and that my son busted his ass for 2 days tearing out a wall.

Her response?

"I can't believe you would expect him to make them do that. He only gets to see them every other weekend - and you think he should make them work? That's your problem, not his."

Therein lies the problem folks.

Oh yeah, I cannot wait to move.

I was reminded all over again about an incident back in January when my DH didn't clean the kitchen after I cooked. You see, that's the deal we have IN OUR MARRIAGE: when one of us cooks, the other cleans. Well, my DH didn't clean the kitchen because he had his skids. WHAT? So I left it. I was NOT going to clean it.

Please understand that I was a single mom for 9 years out of my sons life. I assure you, the dishes got done during those 9 years. So using the "I have my kids" as an excuse to not have to do chores does NOT fly with me AT ALL.

Well, my FIL starts flipping out on me because the kitchen is a mess and has been for 2 days. I looked at him and simply said, "If you have a problem with the condition of the kitchen, then you need to talk to your son. HE is the one who is supposed to clean it."

THEN, my FIL proceeds to YELL at me about how come I can't ever, "Help when he has the kids?!?!"

I said, "Excuse me. I did help. I cooked dinner."

Then, my asshole FIL started MOCKING ME, saying< "I cooked dinner. I cooked dinner."

Then, yes, it gets worse. The asshole said to me:

"He has his kids this weekend. He can't clean the kitchen. YOU should be doing it for him so that he can spend time with his kids!"

My son jumped in at that point, after taking one look at me, and said, "Dude, you need to stop. You are about to get smacked!"

Shortly thereafter my MIL and I got into an argument. Her insisting that I am supposed to "do all sorts of things for my DH" and me insisting that "when she looks at him, she sees her baby boy. When I look at him, I'm trying to see a man. I REFUSE to do the things for him that she does for him, because HE IS NOT MY CHILD! I didn't marry him to take on another child, I married him so that he could be a PARTNER in life."

Put it this way: the argument was never resolved. She STILL thinks I should never expect or ask him to do the fucking dishes.

I tell ya, if DH thinks he's going to pull the same bullshit stunt, both he and his kids are going to find their dirty dishes face down on their pillows.

I AM NOT A SLAVE. I WILL NOT BE TREATED AS SUCH. AND NEITHER WILL MY KID.

Working hard, because hard work needs to be done - is one thing. However, working hard because other people are too fucking lazy to do it - is another matter altogether. I do NOT mind hard work, I expect it in life, I expect my son to do it when it's required. However, neither my son nor I are going to do more than our fair share just because someone else wants to go shoe shopping or go to Chucky Cheese. That's some bullshit right there, I tell ya.

It's so nice that she was willing to help when asked. I think it's normal for teenagers to have to be given constant motivation. It's the fact that she did the work when asked that is a total WIN! Good for you!!

@ HRNYC:

(shrug)

Judge all you want. Just remember - your shit stinks just as much as everyone else's.