Last night Ss woke up from a nightmare. He had a very stressful day with seeing the specialist and the whole yelling the day before. We bolted downstairs when we heard crying on the baby monitor. We were fearing the worst.

He was terrified. He was visibly shaking and crying. He was hugging my Dh, saying he would change. Saying he was sorry. That he can't go to the school again. My Dh just kept saying we'll see, we'll see. We were pretty much committed to sending Ss to the centre. My Dh will be looking at two places before finalizing on one. We will be sending June. So now we are confused again.

We talked a long while last night night. We decided we should still go ahead with the therapeutic centre. Ss had a complete behavior change today. He got out of bed by himself. Ate everything we gave him. He replied to our questions. Then he asked to watch the Hunger Games so my Dh took him this afternoon. My Dh said Ss was totally absorbed by the movie. But my Dh said he found the camera work nauseating himself.

It sounds like Ss is trying to change. But he is just putting up an act. We don't know how else to explain to him that we don't want him to act like a model son. We just want him to feel happy. And we know he is hurting inside. He doesn't seem to get that. He just think we want him to be a certain way. If he keeps this up, sending him to the centre will be all the more worse.

On a side note he has spent hours just watching videos of the actress from the Hunger Games movie doing interviews on youtube. Is this normal?

And I have to go overseas for a week starting Monday where I have to stay covered up because I am a woman for work. Just perfect. My mother will be looking after my kids. Poor Dh will be dealing with Ss alone. The "nanny" will be there while he works though. Have you ever felt so sad your chest hurts when you breathe? This will be my last blog for a while. Thank you everyone. I couldn't have made it without your support.