Hi everybody. I haven't written anything in a long time, but I always like to come here and read other's posts. It's nice to know that there are other people who are dealing with the same thing and know that we really aren't making up most of the stuff we deal with!!

For about the last year my SO has been the primary caregiver for FSS5. SS has been at our house for a minimum of 20 days/overnights a month. BM has SS every other weekend (Friday to Monday), and MAYBE one day during the week, every other week, if she could fit it into her busy schedule. In their agreement they have right of first refusal after 4 hours. BM, even though she only has SS sometimes 4 days a month, continues to go out all night and get drunk on those nights she has him. SS regularly gets dumped off on BM's mom or will use a babysitter. SO continually tells her that she should be spending that time with SS, and that SS needs to be with him (SO) if she is unable to be with SS. Of course whenever SO points out something that BM should be doing (like following a court order) she always says, "well I guess I'm just a shitty mom then, huh?", followed by raving like a maniac. If the shoe fits.......

So, to help BM stop "guessing" if she's a shitty mom, and give her some definite traits of one I've made a small list.

You might be as shitty mom if:
1. You think that being a parent means buying/giving your kids every little thing their heart desires and taking them to cool places. Structure and discipline? Pffft, who needs that.
2. You literally think that it is the job of EVERYONE BUT YOU to correct the behavior of your child or teach them because "that's what you pay them for". It's not your job to actually PARENT them (see #1).
3. Even though you only see your child for, at most, 7 days a month (by your own choosing)you still go out drinking all night when they're there, leaving them with a babysitter or grandma for almost an entire day.
4. You consistently tell your child how obnoxious and stupid they are, how much they piss you off and that the only thing they're good for is causing problems at your house. Oh, and you also tell them how much you can't stand to look at them because they remind you of their father.
5. You refuse to do anything that is in the best interests of your child, only what meets your own self serving needs. You are one of those people who would cut off their nose to spite their face.

So BM, if you agree with any of the above listed items, then yes, you are a shitty mom.

And I'm done. Thanks for listening (reading)!