Why are missed events such an issue?
My inlaws will celebrate their 50th anniversary in August. Sister in laws, again, are planning the huge bash and don't consult anyone's availability. The party is August 25th.
SD19 returns to college on August 17, out of state, with NO direct and immediate airport around...we drive her there.
Now everyone is starting to freak because precious princess will miss the party....so what...who cares...2 weeks before the party we are ALL at a week long beach house where SD19 will be.
DH had the NERVE to ask me why we "just don't fly her home for the party?"
ARE YOU KIDDING ME????? For one day...for a 5 hour party?????? Ummm...no. This family spends tons of time together...
Sorry, but SD19 is the oldest and she is trailblazing the way for the rest of the grandkids...YOU CANNOT ATTEND EVERY EVENT AND GO AWAY TO COLLEGE...
Would you agree that it is ridiculous to have her fly home after just one week of school?????
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Spend the money on a plane
Spend the money on a plane ticket for a party?!?! it is not a death. SHE IS AN ADULT if she wants to attend SHE should have thought about her grandparents 50th months ago (the date is the same every year after all) and she should have worked for the money. My parents have NEVER offered to pay for my gas/plane ticket when I want to go some where. Once I was an ADULT I was an ADULT! end of story. She can take her grandparents out for dinner (Her treat) before she leaves if her grandparents are truly that important to her.
There is a big difference
There is a big difference with kids that put the effort into paying their own way or earning things. However I highly doubt that this 19 year old has.
when I got out of the Air Force I had saved EVERY Penny I could to get a wonderful Apartment, and Out fit it with everything I needed. My parents surprised me with paying the deposit directly to my land lord with out my knowledge. My parents do things for me but I never expect it. I always have the money saved or plan to do everything on my own.
To me it is different when a parent offers/does something without the Adult kid asking/expecting it to occur. If SD had the money and was putting forward the effort to make the arrangements herself to me that would be different.
But also I have missed a couple of Christmas, my dads birthday, 4th of July and a few other holidays due to the Military, Life goes on if you cant attend.
When was the last time SD called her grandparents without being told to?
I would fly my child in for
I would fly my child in for the weekend.
This is a big deal.
A 50th is an amazing and rare
A 50th is an amazing and rare life event. I could see skipping Grandma or Grandpa's birthday, those are to be cherished but they do happen every year.
Since it is such a big family issue, why not move up the date of the party? Yeah that's probably not gonna happen.
It's kinda ridiculous to fly her back, how about set up a screen and skype or video conference somehow? There might be other family members who would like to do that too.
Yeah idk. A 50th wedding anniversary is so special. In the end I'd probably fly her home.
No, i wouldnt fly a skid or
No, i wouldnt fly a skid or kid home. I dont know, maybe I'm weird, but to me an anniversary is a personal celebration between the husband and wife. 50 years is a wonderful accomplishment, no doubt, but I dont think your skid not being there is going to lessen their accomplishment nor make nor break this relationship or party.
IMO, I view it like I do a
IMO, I view it like I do a wedding. Yes, it's nice if people can be there, but it's going to happen whether SD is there or not.
The day is for celebrating the couple...not SD. It would be nice if she could make it, but in the real world, we can't all be everywhere we want to be, & life goes on.
i really don't remember
i really don't remember thinking (at 19 years old) that a 50th anniversary was "all that". In the eyes of a 19 year old, it is just basically a family gathering. Yes a larger scale gathering, meaning close friends and extended family will attend, but still just a basic family gathering. You eat, chit chat, have cake, maybe some yard games are goin on, maybe gma and gpa open some gifts, give hugs, and be on your way.
At 19, if i was in close distance of course i would go to the party to pay my respects, and would more than likely NOT stay for the whole thing. At 19, and not being in reasonable travel distance, i sure the heck wouldn't spend (translated to waste to a 19 year old) my money comin back for a "family gathering." Fine if someone else wants to pay for it, but again it's not something i would want to stay the whole time for.
Since they are going to see
Since they are going to see each other for several days a couple of weeks before the party, I'm not seeing a ZOMG reason to pay to fly her in for a few hours.