BM keeps calling me "concerned"
Apparently when she called earlier today it just made her more concerned because I told her SD had gone on the potty once and then had an accident. According to BM if I had been putting her on every hour then she shouldn't have had an accident and she would have gone way more than once. I did my best to let her know that yes we are being consistant but I don't think her method is appropriate or helpful in our house but that she nothing to worry about.
She then goes on to tell me that "well I read potty training for dummys and they told me this and this and this and this...blahblah" and I told her I have also read everything under the sun and everyone has a different opinion on the matter. My theory is that when she is ready she is ready Im not going to push it anymore and Im also not going to put her on every hour because that isnt teaching her to recognize what is happening to her body.
I wanted to tell her eff off and how we decide to do things in our home is none of her damn business but I kept the niceness going....ugh.
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oh no they were never married
oh no they were never married lol it was like a month of tenuous volitile dating if that
And I'm trying to keep the peace 
You're not the parent. It's
You're not the parent. It's not up to you to make decisions like this. At all. If you don't like what she wants to do and your SO is not present, let the child remain with Momma and let Mom handle it.
I understand that that may be
I understand that that may be how you feel about your "family" and stepchildren but it is not how I feel about mine so if you are going to tell me off and tell me where my place is according to you than you can kindly not comment on my posts.
I respectfully disagee,
I respectfully disagee, stepmisery. While it may not be her job to parent, and potty train sd, it is within her rights as to state what will and will not happen in her own home. BM (that could be plural) seems to want total control, even in our home. DH drew the line with her long ago, but bm does not care. . .she wants to dictate lil things, like hair style and clothing choice in our home, but refuses to listen when it comes to issues in her home, such as bathing (it only happens once in 4 days), saftey (not letting a 7 year old walk out alone at night (in an area with 6 registered sex offenders), etc, etc. . .
While I am just the stepmom, the bm in our situation deems me good enough to be her "go-for," but not be involved in the childrens lives. We have come to and agreement (dh and I), and it works. . .our home, our rules. . .period and end of discussion. We can't control her, but we can control what happens in our home.
Thank you, this is what was
Thank you, this is what was in my head not_the_momma, I would also like to add on that even though it ISN'T my "job" to parent or potty train for that matter it is still my home and I have gladly taken on the job when she is in our care because that is how our family runs. Daddy takes care of his daughter, stepmommy takes care of SD when Daddy is at work, BM tries her best to control what happens in our house to no avail. No its not my job but when BM and SO are not available I sure as hell am going to do it. And its not like SD is old enough to care for herself, obviously it would be a lot different if she wasn't a toddler.
I would also like to ask what exactly would you have me do? Call up BM and say sorry, I am useless as an adult and am not capable of caring for a 2 year old without supervision. Since SO is not here, you are going to have to figure out alternate care for her while you are at work.
An understandable stance if you can not stand your stepchildren and really dont want them around, but that simply is not the case in this situation.
My DH and I don't make a
My DH and I don't make a distinction as to what our roles are. He has told me that I have done (and I know I will continue to do)more of a job parenting than bm ever has done. It doesn't matter who gives directions or has set a rule, we support each other and expect the children to follow through. We are consistent for their sake, and will continue to be.
As far as potty training, I do think she is kinda young. . .you can try, but it will be easier once she wants to do it. . .she needs to have self motivation before she will respond to any outside motivation. Its the same for anyone else in the world. . .
You sound like my family I am
You sound like my family I am happy that the 2 of you are on the same page. And I agree I really don't think shes ready. What I told BM was that she can try her way but I am not going to continue to push this on SD when she clearly hasn't reached that level of understanding yet. Difference in opinion, we weren't fighting or anything lol. I don't think shes too young, I just feel like she isn't ready. Thanks for the input ntm
She's a nut. I would ignore
She's a nut. I would ignore her. She can't tell you and DH how to run your household. And YES, it is within your rights to potty train however you deem suitable for your house, if that is how you and DH function.