Hello! I am new here and would appreciate any help!

I am a step mom of a 6 year old boy for the past 2 years. His father and I are not married yet, but soon.
Ss lives with us full time for the past year. Bm is an every other weekend when she feels like it mom, that is a whole other post for another day!

My recent problem is discipline. I have always let bd do all the disciplining but lately he has asked me to step up more. I have no problems with that.
Recently there have been a few times we talk together about how we are going to handle a situation and stuck together,until bd backs down and ss gets his way.
Then I get accused of being too "mean" when I stick to the plan. It drives me crazy!

I work as a behavior therapist so I know, in some cases, backing down is not a good thing. It just shows the child that they can do whatever they want.
My ss is having issues with thinking he is the boss and he doesn't have to eat.

Then there are times that sd asks ss to stop doing something (hanging on the couch) but the next day when I ask ss to stop hanging on the couch bd sais why? He is fine!
It drives me crazy that he is so hot and cold and doesn't back me!!

Any advice?