Why do we never take the advice..
Biography:
I've been a full time step parent for 11 years without the help of my husband or their mother. And I've hated every minute of it. I actually ended up in the psycho ward after laying in bed for 3 months because I could not stand it anymore. Now I'm wondering why his children's mother ended up bipolar...he probably drove her to it. My advice when anyone asks about dating tips...DONT NOT DATE PEOPLE WITH KIDS. When you make a baby with someone it should be a life time commitment just like marriage or any other commitments. When you back out of anything...you shouldn't get a retry. It shouldn't work that way. Would love to meet others to see how you cope until the step kids are grown and gone hopefully so you get to enjoy your husband finally.
...why do we never take the advice of others? Especially those who have walked in them shoes! I think because its our human nature to do whatever we want and we do... and think it will be different
"When someone shares something of value with you and you benefit from it, you have a moral obligation to share it with other."
#educatelistenshare
Please feel free to ask me anything. Reach out if you need a friend, listening ear or a virtual hug.
Cant wait to meet everyone
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Comments
I’m in the same situation
I’ve been in exactly the same situation. I have two children of my own who have grown up and recently fled the nest, but my SD has been a total and utter B**** to me for the last 10 years . She’s rude, aggressive, messy, unhelpful , distructive. Things got so bad, I ended up needing therapy as I too didn’t even wanna get up in the Mornings.
My DW is absolutely no support whatsoever. She lets SD do what she wants, throw rubbish everywhere, call me names and worse she’s ruined our home. Whenever she eats she doesn’t even take her stuff out to the kitchen.
The worst thing about all of it is I can’t discipline my SD as she isn’t my kid (well she’s 18 now.) if I try to even comment on anything about my SD my DW and I have massive arguments. I agree with you, stay well clear of anyone with kids. It’s destroyed my life too !
I definitely believe that
I definitely believe that people should go into a relationship that includes kids with a more eyes wide open approach. Sometimes they feel their infatuation/love/lust for the partner is going to be enough and that the kids will just be "ok" or since their partner is NCP that they won't have to deal with kid related raising issues.
But, also consider that many times it isn't the CHILDREN that are really the issue. It may be the partner. In almost all of the situations that arise on here, the real underlying problem relates to the person's partner. Now, the kids may be the focus of that issue, but generally it's that child's parent that makes the situation intolerable.
So, it might follow that the partner would end up having issues that are hard to deal with even if the kids didn't exist. Certainly, many of the issues we have on here aren't directly kid related. There are plenty of partners who bring chaos into the home through money issues.. or other selfish actions that have little to do with the kids. So, you are correct in that if you are getting someone who failed at a relationship with another person... that there is a GOOD chance that THEY had some major contribution to the breakdown and possibly even the mental health of their ex.
Even with my DH.. who I love dearly...I can see how some of the way he runs and lives his life could drive some people nuts... It's just that I can deal with his crazy while his EX couldn't. (his crazy relates to his penchant for being self employed which isn't always the smoothest financial road. He has had success and also failures and since she was not a stable employee, I can see how that caused problems).