Spin off BrightFuture's post perhaps...

I live in an older upper middle class part of town. My home is worth about half a mil.

My neighbours - "single mom" of 6 kids - and I use the term loosely, because there's always one or the other of the babydaddies coming to get one or more of the kids. I'm sorry, but if dad's in the picture for 50/50, don't pretend like you're the sole single parent of this child. You're a mom. And single.

Anyway...

So this biotch is straight out of stereotypical a trailer park. Literally. She got lucky on the house next to mine, because the owner is too cheap to fix the inside, which is pretty much covered in mold, and meth-mama was desperate enough to take it anyway - monthly rent 1500$ - she makes 2500$ in baby bonus because of her 6 kids. One of which moved out last year. Probably pregnant. Haven't seen her come back.

Maybe it's judgy - I don't give AF... I live in this neighbourhood because there's no crack whores shouting at 3am, there's no rowdy bar around, there's no police sirens at 3am, etc etc... except since my neighbours moved in.

Ever since, there's been cars coming in and out every 15 minutes - DH and I are convinced she's a dealer - and it goes from 2pm to 3am. Her kids are outside in the street playing basketball at 2am. By kids, I mean the oldest is maybe 12, the youngest in diapers...maybe 3?

Every weekend, I get woken up by angry yelling outside... yesterday morning, it was just shy of 8am. So I go downstairs, make my coffee, grab my pack of smokes, and step out onto the porch - usually I'm in the garage... and I'm just watching. I can see them, they can't really see me.

The guy - built like a ~5'8 stocky brickhouse - makes like he's about to hit the woman - who was about 5'8 as well, and quite a large woman - who was clearly very drunk... so I spoke up. Normally I just observe and stay out of it... but when i saw it was going to come to blows, I asked what the problem was...

buddy reacts by yelling over for me to STFU (I saw that coming lol) and who the f did I think I was, blah blah... and comes stomping around to the front of my house, yelling and cursing..clearly ready to fight... finally looks at me and realizes I'm a 5'4 petite female... and his face drops "Oh."

Not who you were expecting? Fair enough, dude. I just woke up, my voice is kind of low to begin with, it's gruffy in the morning. I get it.

At this point, DH steps out... the guy goes "oh, YOU're home..." and his tone completely changes, he's trying to explain to me that he's the lady next door's brother, that he's trying to take the car keys away from the big lady, who is his girlfriend, she's drunk, blah blah... Ok, great - but do you guys need to be creaming at each other about everything else, at 8am on a Sunday morning? DH goes back in, shaking his head, muttering something about hillbillies to himself...

So buddy backs down, starts going back over to the neighbours... but now big mama comes over, getting all bitchy with me.. it was quite funny, actually.

Couldn't walk straight, very slurred speech... she comes at me telling me I must think I'm soooooo cool having my smoke... look at me, I'm smoking... oooOOOOoooohhhh... so i asked her if she'd like one.

She scoffs, and comes at me again... about my t-shirt... that I must think I'm special, because it says Canadian on it... really silly stuff... so I say, yeah, it's just a ratty t-shirt... got it out of a beer box, and what would she prefer me to wear?

Now she's REALLY upset, because I'm not taking the bait.. she stumbles over the big stones i have around the garden in the front.. and I couldn't help it, I giggled a little... she got FURIOUS and threatened to bash my head in with the big rock... I told her to go for it, if she could pick it up... she tries, falls right on her arse in the grass... meanwhile, I'm still just leaning on the wall on my porch, sipping my coffee, toking my smoke... and buddy is looking from her to me to her to me...

as big mana's struggling to get up, she starts in with the oh yeah well your husband cheats on you all the time... with me... I fk your husband all the time... at this point, I just burst out laughing, and ask if she realizes she just said that in front of HER boyfriend... she realizes her bf is there, looks at me, to him... finally he shoes her off back to the neighbours house, telling me he's relaly sorry, she's just really drunk, blah blah...

whatevs, dude. Your problem, not mine.

I crack my front door and tell Dh what just she'd just tried to say... DH literally dry heaved... I laughed, closed the door, finished my smoke.

Now I'm pumped up, lit up a 2nd smoke.

Buddy comes back, stomping across my yard... looks like he's about to smach my van window - so I ask - what do you want now?

He says he's just coming back to apologize again, that his gf is off her rocker, ok... ok no problem bud, but tighten her leash... and no more screamfests at 8am... that it happens a lot... and that if i was his sister (the meth-mama of 6 who actually lives there) I'd be worried about the popo knocking at the door of her drug den, followed up by the CAS (children's aid society) due to the unreasonable amount of overnight drunkfests that end in screaming matches... so to knock it off, because the next time I'm not going to have a conversation.

Meth-mom comes out of her house now, and i spot her... I called out her name...she runs back towards her house - I call out her name one more time... her brother says you know her? I know enough about her to know she was evicted from the trailer park across town, how much she makes each month on social benefits, enough to know that she's defrauding the system since the older girl no longer lives there but she still gets benefits, enough to know about the drug dealing, enough to know all the kids names, which I list off, her full name, that the inbside of the house is covered in mold, and that one call to CAS along with the footage that our outdoor cams pick up would guarantee a nasty outcome - and that if he cared AT ALL about those kids.... he says OK OK I get it, I get it...

back over he goes... few minutes later, cab pulls up, buddy shoves big mama in it and they take off.. she flips me the bird, so I smile and wave.

I love my neighbourhood - I HATE MY NEIGHBOURS.