I know...I know.... She's made her bed, she can lie in it, and all that. Ann and I haven't been as close lately as we once were, and I think she's made (and continues to make) some extremely poor decisions in her life. But I can't help but be concerned. We've been friends for years, and she is just not the person she used to be.

Ann's main problem is a serious lack of self-esteem, which causes the rest of her problems. She grew up with alcoholic parents, she was married to an alcoholic, and I can only imagine what this does to a person. This is a really beautiful woman. She's smart, educated, had her crap together until the past year or so. But she's lost. I see her drinking more and more, and no matter how often I bring it up, or our friends bring it up and express our concern, Ann is JUST FINE. Life is wonderful, blah blah blah.

Ann was fired from her job after being on unpaid leave for- what?- about eight months? Our employer offered to let her resign, and then her records would be sealed, but she declined, saying it was the "principle" of the thing. So now she's got a termination, a notice of discipline for time theft, and little chance of getting a job in our field again. I spent a few hours with Ann over this past weekend, and...I don't even know how to explain it. She's overly cheery, overly optimistic, says she's never been happier and is finally living the life she's always wanted. I think she protests too much, but who am I to say? Maybe she really is happy, at least relatively speaking. She spends her days writing a children's book, going to yoga, and going on multiple ski trips and mini vacations. She just came back from a 4-day trip to Utah to hike, and she's heading out again this weekend on a "brew tour" of local breweries (just what she needs).

I came right out and asked her: Where are you getting all this play money when you're not working? Apparently, she got her tax return as well as a tuition reimbursement from when she got her Ph.D., and has $10,000 in a savings account, plus child support (which I know is insubstantial). And she's getting state food benefits! According to Ann, she has enough money to get her through the rast of the year, at least. I don't see how, since she's burning through it. I asked her about work. Her response? "I don't know. I'm thinking about not going back at all. I like my life."

So, here she is, a professional with an advanced degree, taking food stamp money (and her son getting free breakfast and lunch at school) because she doesn't FEEL like working. That kind of ticked me off. I- along with all the other taxpayers in our state- are providing for Ann so she can spend her days skiing and traveling and going to yoga. Lovely.

And that's what Ann is up to these days, how she's getting by.

I found it interesting that the entire afternoon, she mentioned Hot Tommy exactly twice. The first time was to say how he "allowed her" exactly one hour of his time that week, so they could "have a conversation" about how she should be better at anticipating his needs. How is one supposed to anticipate someone's needs if they spend an hour a week together? Ugh. The second time was to say how "overwhelmed" he is being a full-time father. (He has Mary 24/7/365; she sees her BM for three hours every Thursday night. He has his son 50/50). Poor Tommy "can't cope." He has no alone time. Poor baby! Ummm... wasn't he a full-time father BEFORE his divorce? This frickin' guy.... Cry me a river.